This was really great, hon. I like that you don't make things easy for Jon, that he was conflicted about his feelings and acted accordingly like the eighteen-year-old boy he is.
I do agree, however, that it ends abruptly. There's so much more that's going on in Jon's head as far as his attitude toward his sexuality is concerned, not to mention his social status at school and how that affects his relationship with Spencer, not mention Ryan AND Brendon. You could've easily written another 10k just getting Jon and Spencer to second base, LOL.
Please don't take this the wrong way; I debated a lot over whether to leave concrit or not. But I think you've got a solid story here, one that could be expanded on a lot more. A lot of high school AUs don't really delve into the consequences of coming out and/or trying to have a homosexual relationship for the first time, so this story is unique in that respect. Really, though, I love these boys, and I really enjoyed how you handled their relationships. ♥
I LOVE you for your concrit, thank you for this really thoughtful comment. I really wanted to drop out of BBB at the last minute because I just wasn't happy with where I had to leave things. In the original fic document, the last scene was actually the halfway point for the story, I have close to 12,000 words in snippets of things like the first time they really make out, and of Spencer clueing Jon into the fact that DUH, Brendon's in LOVE with him and stuff with Tom and Jon and all this other stuff that got cut because I just couldn't make it work in time. This ended up being way over my head.
Anyway, thank you so much not only for reading but also for giving me your honest opinion, that means a lot to me.
Hey, I don't think I really did notes for you in the email, you know, but this was a really fun read, and I quite enjoyed doing the art for it. I'l prolly come back and read the finished version when I'm, done with every other bbb fic I've yet to read <3
Comments 53
I do agree, however, that it ends abruptly. There's so much more that's going on in Jon's head as far as his attitude toward his sexuality is concerned, not to mention his social status at school and how that affects his relationship with Spencer, not mention Ryan AND Brendon. You could've easily written another 10k just getting Jon and Spencer to second base, LOL.
Please don't take this the wrong way; I debated a lot over whether to leave concrit or not. But I think you've got a solid story here, one that could be expanded on a lot more. A lot of high school AUs don't really delve into the consequences of coming out and/or trying to have a homosexual relationship for the first time, so this story is unique in that respect. Really, though, I love these boys, and I really enjoyed how you handled their relationships. ♥
Reply
Anyway, thank you so much not only for reading but also for giving me your honest opinion, that means a lot to me.
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
Also, thanks for that about the first kiss, I couldn't stop grinning while I wrote it :D
Reply
♥__♥
Reply
Reply
-sorry for the crappy colouring job, btw..>_<-
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment