I wanted to say that I really do like this. You write very well. I can really feel Jon's confusion and pain. This world feel real and the romance goes at a very realistic pace. Everyone feels like teenagers, and they talk & act like boys. It is much better written than many BB's I have seen.
But given your aside I feel I won't offend you by mentioning that it does feel like there should be more.. not because of where it ends. I have seen lots of fic that ends in more frustrating places. But the fact that Jon doesn't figure out what is up with Brendon, Jon & Tom aren't really "resolved", Brendon & Ryan are left in limbo and it seems there there needs to be an "outing" with Tom's friends. All this could be fixed.. with a coda or an extra chapter of this story. If you feel up to it, of course. I for one would read it.
I really enjoyed this! I felt that the confusion and fall of Jon was actually conceivable - which does not happen always in RPS. Sometimes I think writers just "make everyone gay" to fulfill a quotient or something (but what do I know, I read not write!). But yours felt very genuine.
I understand you were unhappy with your finished product - I for one would be happy to read a revision or epilogues or deleted scenes. It was just such a well spun story. Thanks!
I love this universe and the characters in it and their relationships to each other. It feels real and the sense of place is delightful. The ending's not as abrupt or jarring as you think it is, and honestly it works, although I'd love to have more-- because I like this story so much and want to live in it. I know I'm just a random commenter, but I think you absolutely should write a sequel if that's what you want-- I'd look forward to reading it.
It's really unusual to see a teenage Brendon who's out, comfortable with himself, and living with some sort of truce with his family. I really liked him in this. =)
I also really liked Jon's arrangement with his parents about school, work, and curfew. And I wish I'd thought of it when I was a teenager, lol.
The big gay freakout is a staple of first-time relationship stories, but I didn't entirely buy it here. I think it's a lot more likely that this Jon, who has been friends with Brendon for so many years, would freak out about the wanting-to-hold-hands thing, or the wanting-to-take-Spencer-to-the-dance thing, since he's presented as a commitmentphobe. But I was happy to read along and see what was going to happen. =)
I loved this, even when Jon was being a douchecunt, I loved this. And I have a song for you that I was thinking about the whole time I was reading this instead of cleaning my room.
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But given your aside I feel I won't offend you by mentioning that it does feel like there should be more.. not because of where it ends. I have seen lots of fic that ends in more frustrating places. But the fact that Jon doesn't figure out what is up with Brendon, Jon & Tom aren't really "resolved", Brendon & Ryan are left in limbo and it seems there there needs to be an "outing" with Tom's friends. All this could be fixed.. with a coda or an extra chapter of this story. If you feel up to it, of course. I for one would read it.
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I understand you were unhappy with your finished product - I for one would be happy to read a revision or epilogues or deleted scenes. It was just such a well spun story. Thanks!
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I also really liked Jon's arrangement with his parents about school, work, and curfew. And I wish I'd thought of it when I was a teenager, lol.
The big gay freakout is a staple of first-time relationship stories, but I didn't entirely buy it here. I think it's a lot more likely that this Jon, who has been friends with Brendon for so many years, would freak out about the wanting-to-hold-hands thing, or the wanting-to-take-Spencer-to-the-dance thing, since he's presented as a commitmentphobe. But I was happy to read along and see what was going to happen. =)
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I loved this, even when Jon was being a douchecunt, I loved this.
And I have a song for you that I was thinking about the whole time I was reading this instead of cleaning my room.
http://www.mediafire.com/file/mr4wzmmtnh1/14 Johnny Are You Queer_.m4a
That's the link for it. I don't know how to make pretty links but ohhh well.
It's Johnny Are You Queer by Josie Cotton and it's perfect.
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