Strawberry Gashes
Title: Strawberry Gashes
Author: darkbluerain
Rating: PG-15
Pairing: Alex/Jack
POV: Alex
Summary: Jack knows his body is weak, but he's sick of being treated like a porcelain doll.
Disclaimer: Fake.
Author Notes: I have a habit of changing my het. stories over to slash, and this is one of them. It's originally about Bryan from BLG, but I like it as slash. Also, I don't know Jack's parents names. Totally made them up. It's sad, just to warn ya. If you see any grammar mistakes, feel free to point them out to me.
All Jack's life his body has been extremely weak. His skin is as fragile as a cobweb. I can't even begin to tell you how scared I am that he's going to get a cut and nearly bleed to death. His great grandmother was photosensitive, so if he's out in the sun for more than four straight hours he gets a terrible sunburn. His anemia is so bad that if he so much as bumps his arm on a table corner he has a huge bruise the next day. He's like a porcelain doll.
And despite how ridiculously delicate I have to be with him, Jack is no doubt the best thing that ever happened to me.
Lately I've been worrying about him though. Every night he leaves the house, about an hour before the sun is going to set, and sits out on the edge of a cliff about half a mile's walk away from his house. With his delicate little body, he could easily fall and die or severley injure himself. I don't really understand why he does it either. Peace? To clear his mind? I want to understand, I really do.
So tomorrow I'm going with him.
The radio is playing softly in the background while Jack arranges dead roses on the table underneath a painting he did of water lilies. He's pretty much obsessed with flowers. Dried, fresh, broken stems, Jack doesn't care. There are vases of flowers all over, mostly dead ones. I gave him those roses for his birthday two years ago. Flowers will last forever if you know how to properly take care of them. And Jack is the master.
"Lexy?"
If I ever come into the possession of a time machine, I would love to go back to the day he was inspired to give me that nickname.
"Yeah Jack?"
"There's a book with pressed flowers in it behind you. Could you put it in my messenger bag?"
The book in question is an old journal that's barely held together and peeling at the corners, but still somehow manages to hold all of the hundreds of flowers he has in there. I handle it gently as I slide it into his bag and smile as he finishes arranging the roses and moves into the bathroom to fix his hair. Whenever he goes out to the place, Jack always pushes his hair back, letting his grown out bangs hang down in front. That's one way I know he's going out there. The other is that he always takes that journal with him.
"Jack?"
"Alex?" He mocks, walking out of the bathroom in a white v-neck and frayed denim jeans. His fragile hands reach for a hoodie and he slips it on, leaving it unzipped.
"Can I...can I come with you?"
Jack opens the door, and I notice he's heading out barefoot. "Come where?"
"Jack..."
His eyes search my face. What he's looking for I really don't know. A lopsided smile forms on his lips and he nods slowly. "Well, okay. Come on, and grab my bag while you're at it."
Looping my arm through the bag, I make to follow him out the door but he stops me and shakes his head.
"Shoes off Alex."
Okay, now I'm confused. But I do as he says and follow him. I've never really walked around in the area behind Jack's house, but now I can see that it's gorgeous. There are trees that have to be at least two hundred years old. Wildflowers are all over the place. Now I can see where Jack gets some of the plant life taking up space in the house. I wonder what made him want to come back here in the first place.
And then there it is. It's a good thirty, maybe forty foot drop down to the water and rocks below. Just looking at it is making me nervous. Jack? He waltzes right to the edge and sits down, letting his feet dangle. He pats a spot next to him and I sit down carefully, choosing to cross my legs rather than let them dangle. In front of us is a perfect view of the dying sun, the sky around it all bloody red and bright orange and lilac purple.
"Isn't it just amazing Alex? Doesn't it just make you want to stay out here all the time?"
Really, it kind of does.
"But aren't you worried you're going to fall? You're so delicate Jack. A fall like that is frightening, even to me."
This boy, this wild nature child, he scoffs and picks the bag up, slipping out the journal. "My health. Why is that always on everyone's minds? I'm nineteen and nothing's happened yet. I've been living on my own since I was eighteen, so I think it's safe to say I can handle that without getting hurt. And you're always watching out for me Alex."
His quick, spidery fingers open the journal and pluck out a few dried morning glory petals. He holds out his hand and the wind sweeps them away, down into the water.
"I let go of a different flower every day."
"Why?"
A distant look adorns his face for a few moments before he shrugs. "Feels right."
Sometimes I really don't understand Jack. He sighs and continues.
"I mean, I would love for there to be some mysterious, complex reason why I'm drawn to this place. A spirit or something. But there isn't. It just feels right to be here. To be away from everyone worrying about me. I like the feeling of being normal for a few hours."
Oh, Jack. Strange, loveable Jack. I wrap my arms around him and pull him back against my chest, inhaling the scent of his hair. "Sometimes abnormal is better. That's why I love you. Want to go back now?"
A sigh escapes his lips and he shakes his head. "No, I want to stay until the sun sets. It's wonderful here. Go on back Alex."
Y'know, I never thought I'd be pulling on pants at three in the morning while hurrying out to my car.
Ugh, a cell phone is probably the worst form of a rude awakening. I reach for it nonetheless, noting with grumpiness that the clock reads 2:45.
"Yeah?"
"Alex?"
It's Candiss. Jack's mother. "Candiss, hey. Is something wrong?" My heart quickens. "Is it Jack?"
"He...he fell."
I know just as well as anyone that falling down the world's smallest flight of stairs could prove deadly for Jack.
"Fell from what?"
"That dangerous cliff's edge where he's always hanging around. Oh, Alex!"
I swallow thickly. "Is he, uh, y'know..."
"Oh, no! Heavens no! He's in the hospital now. It's a miracle he survived. He wants to see you. Is it too early to have you drive over here?"
"Of course not! I'll be right there!"
The drive over is terrible, and when I'm finally done sprinting across the parking lot and through the doors, I think I officially know how Jack's lungs feel after walking for over twenty minutes.
"Where's Jack Barakat's room? I'm his, uh-"
"Brother!"
I turn around and see Jack's father behind me. Daniel is a smart guy. They never would have let me in if I'd just said I was his boyfriend. I hate the 'family first' rule.
"Room 572, sixth floor."
Our feet swiftly carry us to the elevator and I press the button for the sixth floor. My mind is racing with bad thoughts and memories. Back in third grade when he cut his hand while cutting out paper for an art project and ended up having to be rushed to the hospital.
In seventh grade when we skipped class to go to the mall and his body got so worn out from all the walking that he fainted.
And now, when I don't even have any idea what kind of condition my boy is in.
Candiss is just leaving the room when we catch sight of her. She walks over to us. "Oh Alex, Daniel. I'm so glad you're both here. He wants to see you first Alex. Daniel, you come with me."
Well, that can't be good. But I'm not going to leave Jack in there by himself.
I push the door open and there he is, a smile on his face. His poor body is all banged up. Oh, I knew that damned place was dangerous.
"Lex. Hey babe."
I take his fragile hand in mine and mirror his smile. "Are you okay Jack?"
"Oh, I feel fine Alex. They're taking good care of me," his face scrunches up in discomfort, "But my flowers. Who's going to take care of all my flowers while I'm here?"
This boy and his plant life. He could be bleeding from the head, barely clinging on to life, and he'd still be worried about those flowers.
"Don't worry doll. Your flowers will be fine."
"Remind me again why I'm friends with you."
I roll my eyes and carry another armful of Jack's floral loves out to Rian's car.
There was no way to avoid the fact. Jack wasn't going to live much longer. Everyday he grew paler and paler and he couldn't even get up out of bed without someone holding him up. Through some sort of long debate over Jack's health, Daniel and Candiss had convinced the hospital to allow Jack to come home. I knew they didn't want their son dying away from his family.
But his flowers. There was no way I was going to let him die without his one passion in life all around him.
"Because I'm an irresistible sex beast? Just help me at a faster pace Rian. I want to get this done before nightfall. It'll lift his spirits. I didn't start that garden for nothing, Dawson. C'mon, all that's left is the painting in the living room."
"Jack, we're just scared is all. You're body's so weak. What if something happens to you?"
A moonbeam bright smile adorns Jack's face as he sets a hand on his father's forearm. "Dad, relax. Alex will take care of things. My flowers will be fine."
"Jack! This isn't about your damned flowers! Your life is on the line!"
Jack cringes upon hearing his father curse his flowers. There were his life. The only thing that mattered more to him than them was...
"Alex!"
I flash him a smile as I enter his bedroom. Good thing I have a key to his parent's house. I probably shouldn't have listened on the other side of the door, but I'm so worried for him.
"Hey babe. Daniel, Candiss, if you don't mind I'd like to take Jack out for a bit. I haven't gotten to spend much time with him lately."
Daniel runs a hand down his face and sighs. "Fresh air will probably do him some good. Clear his head. Go on, you two. Be careful."
Thank God he said yes. Otherwise Rian would kill me for enslaving him for the last couple of hours. At least Jack is still able to walk. Weak and tiny as his steps may be, he can still use his legs, and that makes things much easier. When we're finally headed to our destination, he sets one of his hands on my arm and quirks an eyebrow. "Where exactly are you planning to take me for my 'fresh air', mister?"
Questions, questions. "You'll find out soon enough."
The whole ride over we're completely silent. I know if I get to talking it'll slip out, because there is no doubt in my mind all he's worried about are his flowers. But maybe, just maybe, there's something I can bring up...
"Jack?"
"Alex?"
"I just want to know how...how you, y'know, fell."
His already bright eyes dance with laughter and he lets his hand dangle out of the window. "I didn't try to kill myself if that's what you think Alex."
"No no no! That came out wrong. Oh, damnit, I'm sorry Jack."
He laughs. Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut.
"You're half right though. I let myself fall."
Or not.
By now we've parked in my driveway, and I'm just staring at Jack, my mind still processing what he just said.
"Why?"
He shrugs.
"I wanted to feel the pain."
He can obviously tell I think he's lost it, because he turns in his seat so he's facing directly at me and takes ahold of my hands.
"Alex, everyone around me, you included, treat me like a porcelain doll. I know I'm fragile, I don't need a daily reminder. I haven't felt proper pain in practically three years. No fingers pricked on needles, no stubbed toes, nothing. But for once, I got to experience pain, true blue 'I need medication to make me feel better' pain. It's just like how a person who loved to eat pastries would feel if they went three years without a doughnut and then was given a box of Krispy Kreme. It was like...like ecstasy Alex."
I really don't know what to say that. So I just sigh and get out of the car, opening the door for him and heading straight for the backyard.
"Now, I know you've been confined to your 'rents house for a while now, and it's got to be killing you," I place one hand over his eyes and guide him with the other, "You're the kind of person that needs the outdoors. Fresh air and sun and birds...," I take my hand off his eyes and smile when I hear him gasp.
"Just like your flowers."
When I started dating Jack five years ago, I planted a garden for him here at my place so he'd always have flowers no matter what house he was at. I know his parents aren't going to let him go back to his place, so I called Rian up and had him help me bring all of Jack's flowers and such over here and we arranged it in with my own garden. His paintings are propped up against an arch that's got wisteria crawling up both sides.
"Oh Alex. You're amazing."
He breaks away from my grasp and finds a soft area to sit down on, motioning for me to join him. We lay down, surrounded by all these gorgeous flowers, and he snakes an arm around my waist.
"How did you get all this done?"
"Rian."
A short laugh escapes his lips before he snuggles against my chest, inhaling the scent of my hoodie. It smells like Bone Daddy and warmth, but mostly like Jack, because he wears it all the time.
"Stay here with me Alex. Let's just sleep in the garden, you and me."
I almost ask if he wants a blanket, but I stop myself. The nighttime air is another thing we normally don't allow Jack to experience. Not because it's bad for him, but simply because of our constant worry. I smile and kiss him on his forehead.
"Anything you want, love."
Sunlight is a much better alarm clock than the electronic ones. This is what hits me in the face in the morning and causes me to let out a big yawn. Surprisingly, that's the best sleep I've ever gotten. My eyes open to look at Jack.
It doesn't even take me two seconds and I can already tell he passed away during the night.
But, I almost can't be sad. I brush away some hair that's fallen in his face and smile.
"See Jack? You didn't die in that awful hospital. Your flowers are all around you. It may not be your garden, but I did this all for you. And I'm here. I should have held on tighter though. I love you, J-Bear. Remember that, okay? I love you."
Author: darkbluerain
Rating: PG-15
Pairing: Alex/Jack
POV: Alex
Summary: Jack knows his body is weak, but he's sick of being treated like a porcelain doll.
Disclaimer: Fake.
Author Notes: I have a habit of changing my het. stories over to slash, and this is one of them. It's originally about Bryan from BLG, but I like it as slash. Also, I don't know Jack's parents names. Totally made them up. It's sad, just to warn ya. If you see any grammar mistakes, feel free to point them out to me.
All Jack's life his body has been extremely weak. His skin is as fragile as a cobweb. I can't even begin to tell you how scared I am that he's going to get a cut and nearly bleed to death. His great grandmother was photosensitive, so if he's out in the sun for more than four straight hours he gets a terrible sunburn. His anemia is so bad that if he so much as bumps his arm on a table corner he has a huge bruise the next day. He's like a porcelain doll.
And despite how ridiculously delicate I have to be with him, Jack is no doubt the best thing that ever happened to me.
Lately I've been worrying about him though. Every night he leaves the house, about an hour before the sun is going to set, and sits out on the edge of a cliff about half a mile's walk away from his house. With his delicate little body, he could easily fall and die or severley injure himself. I don't really understand why he does it either. Peace? To clear his mind? I want to understand, I really do.
So tomorrow I'm going with him.
The radio is playing softly in the background while Jack arranges dead roses on the table underneath a painting he did of water lilies. He's pretty much obsessed with flowers. Dried, fresh, broken stems, Jack doesn't care. There are vases of flowers all over, mostly dead ones. I gave him those roses for his birthday two years ago. Flowers will last forever if you know how to properly take care of them. And Jack is the master.
"Lexy?"
If I ever come into the possession of a time machine, I would love to go back to the day he was inspired to give me that nickname.
"Yeah Jack?"
"There's a book with pressed flowers in it behind you. Could you put it in my messenger bag?"
The book in question is an old journal that's barely held together and peeling at the corners, but still somehow manages to hold all of the hundreds of flowers he has in there. I handle it gently as I slide it into his bag and smile as he finishes arranging the roses and moves into the bathroom to fix his hair. Whenever he goes out to the place, Jack always pushes his hair back, letting his grown out bangs hang down in front. That's one way I know he's going out there. The other is that he always takes that journal with him.
"Jack?"
"Alex?" He mocks, walking out of the bathroom in a white v-neck and frayed denim jeans. His fragile hands reach for a hoodie and he slips it on, leaving it unzipped.
"Can I...can I come with you?"
Jack opens the door, and I notice he's heading out barefoot. "Come where?"
"Jack..."
His eyes search my face. What he's looking for I really don't know. A lopsided smile forms on his lips and he nods slowly. "Well, okay. Come on, and grab my bag while you're at it."
Looping my arm through the bag, I make to follow him out the door but he stops me and shakes his head.
"Shoes off Alex."
Okay, now I'm confused. But I do as he says and follow him. I've never really walked around in the area behind Jack's house, but now I can see that it's gorgeous. There are trees that have to be at least two hundred years old. Wildflowers are all over the place. Now I can see where Jack gets some of the plant life taking up space in the house. I wonder what made him want to come back here in the first place.
And then there it is. It's a good thirty, maybe forty foot drop down to the water and rocks below. Just looking at it is making me nervous. Jack? He waltzes right to the edge and sits down, letting his feet dangle. He pats a spot next to him and I sit down carefully, choosing to cross my legs rather than let them dangle. In front of us is a perfect view of the dying sun, the sky around it all bloody red and bright orange and lilac purple.
"Isn't it just amazing Alex? Doesn't it just make you want to stay out here all the time?"
Really, it kind of does.
"But aren't you worried you're going to fall? You're so delicate Jack. A fall like that is frightening, even to me."
This boy, this wild nature child, he scoffs and picks the bag up, slipping out the journal. "My health. Why is that always on everyone's minds? I'm nineteen and nothing's happened yet. I've been living on my own since I was eighteen, so I think it's safe to say I can handle that without getting hurt. And you're always watching out for me Alex."
His quick, spidery fingers open the journal and pluck out a few dried morning glory petals. He holds out his hand and the wind sweeps them away, down into the water.
"I let go of a different flower every day."
"Why?"
A distant look adorns his face for a few moments before he shrugs. "Feels right."
Sometimes I really don't understand Jack. He sighs and continues.
"I mean, I would love for there to be some mysterious, complex reason why I'm drawn to this place. A spirit or something. But there isn't. It just feels right to be here. To be away from everyone worrying about me. I like the feeling of being normal for a few hours."
Oh, Jack. Strange, loveable Jack. I wrap my arms around him and pull him back against my chest, inhaling the scent of his hair. "Sometimes abnormal is better. That's why I love you. Want to go back now?"
A sigh escapes his lips and he shakes his head. "No, I want to stay until the sun sets. It's wonderful here. Go on back Alex."
Y'know, I never thought I'd be pulling on pants at three in the morning while hurrying out to my car.
Ugh, a cell phone is probably the worst form of a rude awakening. I reach for it nonetheless, noting with grumpiness that the clock reads 2:45.
"Yeah?"
"Alex?"
It's Candiss. Jack's mother. "Candiss, hey. Is something wrong?" My heart quickens. "Is it Jack?"
"He...he fell."
I know just as well as anyone that falling down the world's smallest flight of stairs could prove deadly for Jack.
"Fell from what?"
"That dangerous cliff's edge where he's always hanging around. Oh, Alex!"
I swallow thickly. "Is he, uh, y'know..."
"Oh, no! Heavens no! He's in the hospital now. It's a miracle he survived. He wants to see you. Is it too early to have you drive over here?"
"Of course not! I'll be right there!"
The drive over is terrible, and when I'm finally done sprinting across the parking lot and through the doors, I think I officially know how Jack's lungs feel after walking for over twenty minutes.
"Where's Jack Barakat's room? I'm his, uh-"
"Brother!"
I turn around and see Jack's father behind me. Daniel is a smart guy. They never would have let me in if I'd just said I was his boyfriend. I hate the 'family first' rule.
"Room 572, sixth floor."
Our feet swiftly carry us to the elevator and I press the button for the sixth floor. My mind is racing with bad thoughts and memories. Back in third grade when he cut his hand while cutting out paper for an art project and ended up having to be rushed to the hospital.
In seventh grade when we skipped class to go to the mall and his body got so worn out from all the walking that he fainted.
And now, when I don't even have any idea what kind of condition my boy is in.
Candiss is just leaving the room when we catch sight of her. She walks over to us. "Oh Alex, Daniel. I'm so glad you're both here. He wants to see you first Alex. Daniel, you come with me."
Well, that can't be good. But I'm not going to leave Jack in there by himself.
I push the door open and there he is, a smile on his face. His poor body is all banged up. Oh, I knew that damned place was dangerous.
"Lex. Hey babe."
I take his fragile hand in mine and mirror his smile. "Are you okay Jack?"
"Oh, I feel fine Alex. They're taking good care of me," his face scrunches up in discomfort, "But my flowers. Who's going to take care of all my flowers while I'm here?"
This boy and his plant life. He could be bleeding from the head, barely clinging on to life, and he'd still be worried about those flowers.
"Don't worry doll. Your flowers will be fine."
"Remind me again why I'm friends with you."
I roll my eyes and carry another armful of Jack's floral loves out to Rian's car.
There was no way to avoid the fact. Jack wasn't going to live much longer. Everyday he grew paler and paler and he couldn't even get up out of bed without someone holding him up. Through some sort of long debate over Jack's health, Daniel and Candiss had convinced the hospital to allow Jack to come home. I knew they didn't want their son dying away from his family.
But his flowers. There was no way I was going to let him die without his one passion in life all around him.
"Because I'm an irresistible sex beast? Just help me at a faster pace Rian. I want to get this done before nightfall. It'll lift his spirits. I didn't start that garden for nothing, Dawson. C'mon, all that's left is the painting in the living room."
"Jack, we're just scared is all. You're body's so weak. What if something happens to you?"
A moonbeam bright smile adorns Jack's face as he sets a hand on his father's forearm. "Dad, relax. Alex will take care of things. My flowers will be fine."
"Jack! This isn't about your damned flowers! Your life is on the line!"
Jack cringes upon hearing his father curse his flowers. There were his life. The only thing that mattered more to him than them was...
"Alex!"
I flash him a smile as I enter his bedroom. Good thing I have a key to his parent's house. I probably shouldn't have listened on the other side of the door, but I'm so worried for him.
"Hey babe. Daniel, Candiss, if you don't mind I'd like to take Jack out for a bit. I haven't gotten to spend much time with him lately."
Daniel runs a hand down his face and sighs. "Fresh air will probably do him some good. Clear his head. Go on, you two. Be careful."
Thank God he said yes. Otherwise Rian would kill me for enslaving him for the last couple of hours. At least Jack is still able to walk. Weak and tiny as his steps may be, he can still use his legs, and that makes things much easier. When we're finally headed to our destination, he sets one of his hands on my arm and quirks an eyebrow. "Where exactly are you planning to take me for my 'fresh air', mister?"
Questions, questions. "You'll find out soon enough."
The whole ride over we're completely silent. I know if I get to talking it'll slip out, because there is no doubt in my mind all he's worried about are his flowers. But maybe, just maybe, there's something I can bring up...
"Jack?"
"Alex?"
"I just want to know how...how you, y'know, fell."
His already bright eyes dance with laughter and he lets his hand dangle out of the window. "I didn't try to kill myself if that's what you think Alex."
"No no no! That came out wrong. Oh, damnit, I'm sorry Jack."
He laughs. Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut.
"You're half right though. I let myself fall."
Or not.
By now we've parked in my driveway, and I'm just staring at Jack, my mind still processing what he just said.
"Why?"
He shrugs.
"I wanted to feel the pain."
He can obviously tell I think he's lost it, because he turns in his seat so he's facing directly at me and takes ahold of my hands.
"Alex, everyone around me, you included, treat me like a porcelain doll. I know I'm fragile, I don't need a daily reminder. I haven't felt proper pain in practically three years. No fingers pricked on needles, no stubbed toes, nothing. But for once, I got to experience pain, true blue 'I need medication to make me feel better' pain. It's just like how a person who loved to eat pastries would feel if they went three years without a doughnut and then was given a box of Krispy Kreme. It was like...like ecstasy Alex."
I really don't know what to say that. So I just sigh and get out of the car, opening the door for him and heading straight for the backyard.
"Now, I know you've been confined to your 'rents house for a while now, and it's got to be killing you," I place one hand over his eyes and guide him with the other, "You're the kind of person that needs the outdoors. Fresh air and sun and birds...," I take my hand off his eyes and smile when I hear him gasp.
"Just like your flowers."
When I started dating Jack five years ago, I planted a garden for him here at my place so he'd always have flowers no matter what house he was at. I know his parents aren't going to let him go back to his place, so I called Rian up and had him help me bring all of Jack's flowers and such over here and we arranged it in with my own garden. His paintings are propped up against an arch that's got wisteria crawling up both sides.
"Oh Alex. You're amazing."
He breaks away from my grasp and finds a soft area to sit down on, motioning for me to join him. We lay down, surrounded by all these gorgeous flowers, and he snakes an arm around my waist.
"How did you get all this done?"
"Rian."
A short laugh escapes his lips before he snuggles against my chest, inhaling the scent of my hoodie. It smells like Bone Daddy and warmth, but mostly like Jack, because he wears it all the time.
"Stay here with me Alex. Let's just sleep in the garden, you and me."
I almost ask if he wants a blanket, but I stop myself. The nighttime air is another thing we normally don't allow Jack to experience. Not because it's bad for him, but simply because of our constant worry. I smile and kiss him on his forehead.
"Anything you want, love."
Sunlight is a much better alarm clock than the electronic ones. This is what hits me in the face in the morning and causes me to let out a big yawn. Surprisingly, that's the best sleep I've ever gotten. My eyes open to look at Jack.
It doesn't even take me two seconds and I can already tell he passed away during the night.
But, I almost can't be sad. I brush away some hair that's fallen in his face and smile.
"See Jack? You didn't die in that awful hospital. Your flowers are all around you. It may not be your garden, but I did this all for you. And I'm here. I should have held on tighter though. I love you, J-Bear. Remember that, okay? I love you."