I thought I didn't want to live, but now I know I just don't want to live here.

There's so many places that I haven't seen, so many places that I haven't been. But this small town is going to eat me alive, it's all that I can do just to survive. I can think of a thousand times in my past where I was happier than I am now. What the hell has changed? Who the hell have I become? I need out before I'm swallowed down. I've severed ( Read more... )

What I've Learned

Nothing ever changes as we all march to our graves. Nothing gold can stay. Nothing good can last. You'll never forget your past, so keep to your beliefs and hold them fast, because they'll be swept away in the dust of all this decay.

Every second chance leads to a failure that makes me want to take my life. I've been given months, given years, and all I know how to do is sleep through everything. I'm sick of this, sick of doubting every breath I take. Trying to nurse wounds that constantly ache. How do I forget my losses and make amends with lost friends? I don't remember how ( Read more... )

Don't listen to me, nothing I say has any meaning. Just words with fickle causes, just sentence fragments for different losses. I wish I actually believed that this wasn't wasted effort, but I scream until my lungs hurt and my head aches. And maybe just for a brief few seconds it eases the pain. I pray for much different things than I did last year ( Read more... )

I'm afraid I've become a monster. It might be too late to save me from this disconnect, because I can't find any honesty except in knowing that I've grown into something horribly ugly. I let myself down, and I'll bring you here too, and you'll drown in this depression, I swear it will kill you. I eat myself alive, my heart, my mind, to fill the ( Read more... )

Waking up in the same familiar sweat every night, he quickly takes in his surroundings and becomes at ease that the nightmares are over for the time. But there's no light yet, there will be more hopeless fights tonight, there will be more dreams that hollow the very soul out of a boy leaving him an empty shell of a man. Rising to his feet, a frame ( Read more... )

Beaten and torn, used and worn. Nightmares eat me alive again. Waking up in the same cold sweat everyday. I need to be less afraid. Less afraid of feeling worthless, of trying and failing, of falling and flailing. Trying my best to supress the most selfish, the most violent, of my thoughts to some dark, distant corner of my mind. I fight the ( Read more... )

Now that I have a lot of the progress I've made in life out of the way, my love for tattoos has resurfaced, and I'm making plans to get a lot of work done this summer. Not much else has excited me like this in a long time.

I stripped my heart bare over a thousand stretches of broken white lines, and I've seen desperate, hurt, lost faces of all kinds.

Duty as heavy as a mountain, death as light as a feather.