(no subject)
Every second chance leads to a failure that makes me want to take my life. I've been given months, given years, and all I know how to do is sleep through everything. I'm sick of this, sick of doubting every breath I take. Trying to nurse wounds that constantly ache. How do I forget my losses and make amends with lost friends? I don't remember how to hope, don't remember how to trust, only doubt weighs my mind down now. Every thought conflicts with my previous, all I know is this turmoil, and if I don't take one step at a time, it threatens to overwhelm me, like a thousand stars shining through all the nights that I laid awake in bed. I've been slowly falling for four years, wasting time and wasting life, fading away in these wasted nights.