Yesterday I was accosted by someone doing something to try to save the environment, some something requiring asking for signatures or something like that. Which is okay by me, but what bugged me was their delivery: "Do you have a second for the environment?" Ah, the guilt trip. Yes, how I love guilt trips. (That was sarcasm by the way.) Flummoxed, ( Read more... )

This is pretty much hilarious.

I wish someone would make inexpensive headphones that aren't pieces of shit. I am so fucking tired of every single pair of headphones I own fucking up, which usually results in one side or the other no longer working. Ear buds, headphones, it's all the same: every goddamn pair I've ever had always goes screwy within a few short months or less of my ( Read more... )

Haven't been the victim of an April Fool's joke yet this year. So let me warn you: anyone who tries one on me will be hit so hard s/he'll become a vegetable. And I'm a vegetarian. :-)

My ABCs-shaped Spaghetti-O's spelled out "Kill them all" today. Fuck that shit, I don't take orders from no steenkeeng pasta!

Changed the name that shows up when I post, but only by adding something. Now I am "Bishop Sanctimonious the Hypocritical, BYCCMG" instead of just "Bishop Sanctimonious the Hypocritical." BYCCMG means "But You Can Call Me God."

From the first season of Star Trek: TOS. Specifically, the episode with the horta:

Jim: "Mister Spock, I do believe you're getting more and more human every day."
Spock: "Captain, I see no reason to stand here and be insulted."

"Life"
by Alexander Antonin

Life! Vogue ewe pup tea glass bowl whiff hay and green aide.

I am so weird. I'm American, but use slang and accents from Britain, Australia, Canada, and other countries. I use new, youth-generation slang like BRB and LOL, and I use outdated, Generations A - W slang, things like "by diggity," "dad gum," "whippersnappers," "groovy," and even truly ancient words like "knave," "tally ho," and "wherefore." I ( Read more... )