Let's be fair; if you're writing this, it very well could have been literal.
"Going back there... they'll do anything, teach anyone just to stay out of there just a few seconds more."
That is a cool little twist to the Bargain-with-the-Devil lore. Hell isn't supposed to be a fun kingdom, after all.
This is a... complicated... read. I disagree with this man's financial philosophy, so watching him foiled was nice. However, the very act of foiling didn't feel as cathartic as I would have liked. Selling and/or destroying the company might be nice if you want to settle a grudge, but it still hurts a lot of people who have nothing to to with this company (much like the kind of "cutbacks" that David probably did the bottom line, but worse). And on top of that, it's hard not to be sympathetic to David's plight. He's probably known nothing but business and that company all of his life. You can understand why he'd want to preserve that legacy.
Though I suppose a lot of that is just that, well, when someone tries to overwrite your brain, a lot of folks just go for broke when it comes to revenge.
I'm surprised it didn't end when the guy collapsed ... but it's worth it just to watch her work. I like it when characters just pay attention and figure things out, you know? Take initiative.
I sort of wonder if Gabby meant to imply that Faustus et al got sent to these places because they messed with someone who was observant and resourceful, and if that's the fate of most or even all such people. It makes a little sense to me - you're one human among others, and if you tilt the world a little towards one person than naturally you tilt it away from the rest.
I'm much the same. The power of paying attention is one not to be trifled with, especially not when you've got a target who's got a vested interest in not being targeted.
And... I had not thought of that angle but I won't pretend I don't like it.
Comments 39
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Let's be fair; if you're writing this, it very well could have been literal.
"Going back there... they'll do anything, teach anyone just to stay out of there just a few seconds more."
That is a cool little twist to the Bargain-with-the-Devil lore. Hell isn't supposed to be a fun kingdom, after all.
This is a... complicated... read. I disagree with this man's financial philosophy, so watching him foiled was nice. However, the very act of foiling didn't feel as cathartic as I would have liked. Selling and/or destroying the company might be nice if you want to settle a grudge, but it still hurts a lot of people who have nothing to to with this company (much like the kind of "cutbacks" that David probably did the bottom line, but worse). And on top of that, it's hard not to be sympathetic to David's plight. He's probably known nothing but business and that company all of his life. You can understand why he'd want to preserve that legacy.
Reply
Though I suppose a lot of that is just that, well, when someone tries to overwrite your brain, a lot of folks just go for broke when it comes to revenge.
Reply
"He burned and effigy of the logos of one of his competitors and soonafter " should be "burned an effigy" and "soon after"
"he just wanted his legacy" and then soon after "he just didn't want her to do injury" is a bit repetitive
"and evil the mysterious and much-storied Simon Magus," ?
" to reconnect with her father and David?" stick a comma after "father" and it will read less like you're referring to two people
"It was 12:01am Gabby's eighteenth birthday." (on the day of?)
This was an enjoyable read, thank you.
Reply
Thanks so much for reading and for the feedback!
Reply
I sort of wonder if Gabby meant to imply that Faustus et al got sent to these places because they messed with someone who was observant and resourceful, and if that's the fate of most or even all such people. It makes a little sense to me - you're one human among others, and if you tilt the world a little towards one person than naturally you tilt it away from the rest.
Reply
And... I had not thought of that angle but I won't pretend I don't like it.
Reply
Leave a comment