LJIdol 9.31 - “The future outwits all our certitudes”

[alephz]

Gabby was supposed to be her father

Comments

[alycewilson]

Well, you can't say he didn't deserve it!

[alephz]

This is very, very much my thinking, too.

[eternal_ot]

Whoa! I loved the twist..Interesting read..good use of the prompt!

[alephz]

Thank you so much! I'm really happy you enjoyed my take.

[anyonesghost]

This was a well-told story, and a good exercise of the topic. I think my only real complaint is the first line. Leading with 'Gabby' initially made me think Gabby was going to be the protagonist. (I know, I know - in her way, she is. But it's her dad that's the primary focal point, in both their lives.) Just a nit, but it caused a bit of dissonance up front. Still, well-written as usual. :-) Good luck this week!

[alephz]

Hey, looking back over the piece? I can totally see where you're coming from with that. Like you say, it distracts a bit and messes with the short-term expectations. Definitely going to be on my mind going forward.

Thanks so much for the feedback and goodness knows I can use all the luck I can get.

[lrig_rorrim]

I liked this a lot. It seems fitting that Gabby's dad was so self-centered and focused he didn't notice her, noticing him.

[alephz]

I thought so. He's so focused on building his legacy that he didn't notice the legacy he was building. I just had so much fun with this piece and I'm right with you in liking how his myopia totally led to his downfall.

[suesniffsglue]

Intriguing tale! This was a great use of the prompt; I enjoyed reading.

[alephz]

Hey, I'm so glad to hear it! Thanks so much for reading.