[fic] Find Me - Third Cut ~Apologies~
Title: Find Me
Pairing: Jin x Kame
Rating: NC-17
Genre - Catch Me: AU, angst, romance, smut, drama, tragedy
Beta by: my cat. okay, seriously, nobody
Disclaimer: I don't own KAT-TUN, any of its members, any other JE people. I write this for fun and for other fans of these fine folks. But don't steal my plots, mmkay? I put a great deal of time into them except for when I'm randomly spastically spitting words onto a page. But I value those too...
Summary - Catch Me: A dramatic turn in his life throws Kame into Jin's college world. Almost immediately they notice an attraction, but they spend more time clashing than not.
Summary - Lose Me: Kame and Jin still have the occasional argument but mostly they live happily together. But when someone from Kame's past shows up, will the two be able to deal?
Summary - Find Me: Kame has been kidnapped. Will he and Jin ever be reunited?
Warning: While "Catch Me" part is more towards the fluffy end of the scale at times, the other three parts have such things as drugs and murder and rape and all the fun parts of a bad neighborhood in a big city. Oh, and character death(s).
On my journal: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
On the akame_ Community: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
On the akame_fanfics Community: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
On the kattun_fanfics Community: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
A/N: I'm sure you're all impatient for this after last night's cut. So here you go!
Find Me
Third Cut ~Apologies~
“But he called me! Can’t we do the thing with the phone again? Like last time?” Jin asked Ueda.
Ueda nodded, “We could find a general area for a cell phone… if it’s a home phone or a payphone, that would be better. We could find where it is exactly since those are all tied to location. But there’s just one problem.”
“Problem? What problem? Make it work! HE NEEDS ME!” Jin cried. “You didn’t hear him, Tat-chan…”
“My dad heard about the fight and my suspension.”
“So?”
“So, my family might not be so helpful this time.”
“Get her on the phone. Let me ask her.”
Ueda made the call. It took Jin almost ten minutes to convince her to help again, since once he mentioned the word “kidnapped” she wanted to send him to the police instead. But Jin already had seen the police. They weren’t any help. “Please, they don’t even believe me. But Kazu just called me. He escaped and found a phone. He didn’t know where he was so I asked him to describe it. I promised him I would find him and save him. But Ryo caught up to him. There wasn’t anything I could do. That’s why I have to find this phone! I have to find where this number calls from!”
In the end, she agreed.
The number turned out to belong to a payphone. This was the best luck they could hope for! They got the location from Ueda’s cousin’s wife. It was, as Jin suspected, not terribly far from the spot near the park, unless you count distance down, that is.
Ueda wanted to go with Jin but Jin wouldn’t let him. He had already gotten into enough trouble over this when he attacked Ryo. Jin didn’t want to see him expelled for leaving the dorms while under house restriction.
+++
Ryo’s backhand dazed Kame just enough that Ryo was able to pull him away from the phone he was clutching. “No!!” he cried, desperately reaching back for a phone that was becoming further and further away as Ryo dragged him down the street by the wrist.
In any other neighborhood, this would have raised alarm. Here, it probably wasn’t even the worst thing happening. This was NOT a good part of town.
“Wait… this isn’t the same way…?”
“You really think we can stay here now that you’ve called him? I planned on moving you today anyway, but that’s not the fucking point!” Ryo sounded completely furious. Kame had never seen him that mad before.
“No! I’m not going anywhere! Jin’s coming for me. He promised…” And Kame put the entirety of his weight into pulling away from Ryo, digging his heels in, but he just wasn’t strong enough. Why hadn’t he stayed in shape? He let himself go after baseball and he was paying for it.
Ryo dragged him along for about ten minutes and then ducked into an alley. It was a short alley, kind of z-shaped, but there was a doorway into one of the buildings at the top of two enormous uneven steps. It was there that Ryo took him to. Just inside the door was a hall, with a door on either side. Kame supposed it was some kind of duplex.
Pulling a key from his pocket, Ryo opened the door on the left and shoved Kame through it so forcefully that Kame tripped and landed face down on the floor. By the time he pushed himself back up, Ryo had stepped in and shut the door. Pocketing the key, he grabbed Kame by his hair and pulled him towards the bedroom.
When they got to the bedroom, Ryo threw him down to the floor again. Kame couldn’t even scramble to a sitting position before Ryo kicked him hard in the stomach twice. In addition to being incredibly painful, it knocked the wind out of Kame, leaving him coughing on the floor. That gave Ryo all the time he needed to grab something to tie Kame’s hands together and to the bedpost at the foot of the bed.
Ryo pulled Kame’s pants off and tossed them across the room. He pulled off his own belt, glaring down at Kame. “Now you have to be punished…” he growled angrily as he brought the belt down. Kame couldn’t even put his arms up to defend himself since they were tied to the bedpost.
Two licks had Kame crying. Five minutes had him sobbing and begging Ryo to stop. Ten minutes had him agreeing never to try to escape again. Fifteen had him promising to let Ryo do every sick, twisted thing Ryo could think of…
…and then Ryo put the belt aside and did each and every one of them while Kame cried. And hours later, when they were done with all, Ryo beat Kame with the belt yet again… just to show him that the pain and humiliation of everything they’d just done had served no purpose after all, other than to give Ryo’s arm a much-needed rest.
“Next time you misbehave, you’ll really regret it. I won’t be so nice as I was this time.”
And then, locking the bedroom door behind him, Ryo left Kame on the floor next to the bed, his wrists still tied together and to the bedpost, his body naked, bruised, bloody, and in pain… and feeling the shame of having been completely violated - both inside and out - once again.
+++
Later that evening, Ryo came back to the bedroom. “Are you ready to apologize?”
“Yes…” Kame whispered.
“I’m listening.”
“I’m sorry for running away. I won’t do it again.”
Ryo tilted his head to one side. “Hmm… I’m not sure I believe you. You’re going to have to do better. You’re going to have to show me how sorry you are.”
“Please, Ryo…”
Shaking his head, Ryo said, “I thought as much. You haven’t learned your lesson yet. You’re not sorry.” His hand reached out for the belt lying on the bedroom floor.
“No no no… not the belt! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! Let me show you! I’ll show you! Just give me the chance! Please? Please!” Kame begged.
“Very well, then.” Ryo agreed as he untied Kame’s wrists. “Show me…”
Kame closed his mind to what he was doing as he started to unbutton Ryo’s shirt. He shut out everything except the image of Jin with that big, goofy grin Kame loved so much. Imagining he was with Jin was the only way he could force his hands and mouth to obey him. Even though it stained everything he’d ever felt for Jin…
But, really, what choice did he have? After all, if he didn’t escape again, Jin had nothing to go on to find him. And Kame was never going to run again. Not ever. Ryo would catch him. Ryo always won in the end.
So, mind shut, Kame did everything he could think of to please Ryo.
+++
Jin found the phone. It was still dangling from where Kame had dropped it.
But which way to go from there? Kame mentioned a yellow building and some alleys. There were many alleys but just one yellow building, almost directly across the street from the phone. Without anything better to go by, Jin decided to check the three different alley entrances nearest the yellow building as well as, if he could find his way in, the yellow building itself.
It took forty minutes of searching but he eventually happened on an alley that had an entrance into the yellow building that had not been boarded up (though it was missing its door entirely). The place was completely trashed on the inside. Most of the building was gutted but there were four rooms. Two were locked, one was so full of junk that you couldn’t get the door completely open…
…but one had all the signs of life.
It was pitch black in the room, save for the faint light from an electric lantern on a card table next to a cot. In one corner, giving off a foul odor, was what appeared to be a bucket. Someone had spilled food all over the floor near the door.
But none of this necessarily meant Kame had been there. None of it, that is to say, except the tattered remains of Kame’s shirt in the middle of the room.
It was hours ago that Kame called him. Had they not come back here? Was this just another dead end?
Jin waited there for the entire rest of the day, but neither Ryo nor Kame came back.
So he had no clue how to find his Kazu after all…
Thinking about how scared Kame sounded on the phone, Jin put his head in his hands and wept.
+++
“Now that you’ve shown me how sorry you are, you’ve made a choice. You’ve chosen to sleep with me.” This was from Ryo. “Jin’s not going to want you back. Not anymore. If you try running again, there’s only two ways it could go. Either you fail and I’ll make the belt seem like the gentle alternative or you’ll succeed only to find I’m the only one who’ll have you now that you’re tainted. Either way, you’ll be right back here.”
And it was probably true, Kame realized. But the thought made him sick.
“If you’re a good little whore then I can make you feel so good. And if you’re not…” and Ryo gestured at the belt lying on the ground. Ryo reached a hand out towards Kame, placing his palm on Kame’s cheek to turn the younger’s gaze back to him. “Just now, your apology, that was very good. And I know you probably hurt really bad right now from being punished earlier. So I have something for you, a distraction.”
Kame watched as Ryo stood and walked over to the night stand. There was a small bag on it that Ryo must have brought in with him and Kame just didn’t notice before. He took a tiny little zip-locked bag, not even big enough to hold a quarter, out of the larger bag and tossed it to Kame. It landed on the floor in front of him.
“You enjoy that.” And Ryo took the larger bag with him as he left the room, locking the door behind him. At least Ryo didn’t tie him to anything this time.
Kame hand shook as he picked up the little plastic sachet. It had some kind of powder in it.
Wait, did Ryo really expect him to…?
A distraction, he had said.
No. No, he couldn’t. He just couldn’t. Kame dropped it back on the floor in disgust.
Well, at least Kame could explore the room, now that he wasn’t tied to the bedpost.
In theory.
He tried to rise to his feet but the pain was so bad that he fell back to his knees and nearly threw up. That in turn pulled his shoulders in towards the center of his chest, pulling at the muscles of his back even more. Forehead to the floor, he took slow, even breaths, trying to ride out the pain.
Standing had been a very bad idea. Carefully, he shifted his weight to settle on his right side; his left had born more of the brunt of the belt while his right had been semi-protected by the side of the bed. I’ll look around later, he decided.
Kame had hoped to just fall asleep but that proved just as futile as standing. And every second that passed was agony. Not just because he hurt more than he even remembered hurting (even more than when someone pushed him down those stairs), though the pain was a part. It was also because he had no idea how long it would be before Ryo would want something from him so Kame’s ears were straining to catch even the faintest sounds in fear of his return.
Hours passed. Or minutes. It was so hard to tell…
A distraction, he had said.
No! He was not seriously considering this, was he?
A distraction… to take him away from the pain…
+++
Jin spent Tuesday and Wednesday in his room. He didn’t even answer the door for his friends.
But Wednesday afternoon brought the news that, if he didn’t start attending classes again, he would be expelled and have to move out of the dorms.
He couldn’t leave. He hadn’t saved Kame yet. He wasn’t going anywhere. So, he started going to classes again.
+++
It took Kame days to work up the courage to ask Ryo, “Why me? What did I ever do to you?”
Ryo looked both sad and angry at this question. “Do you remember the first time we met?”
“Vaguely…” Kame thought for a minute. “It was… the first week at college. Uchi Hiroki introduced us, right?”
“No.” The briefest hint of despair flashed across Ryo’s face but it was rapidly replaced with seething fury. “We met before that. I suggest you think on it.” Kame flinched when it looked like Ryo was reaching towards the belt but then Ryo dropped his hand back down to his side and just stormed out of the room without punishing Kame.
Pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them, Kame tried to calm his racing heart and frantic breaths. He thought for sure he was about to be beaten again and was thanking every deity he could recall for his narrow escape.
+++
How could he not remember it? Ryo would never forget it. Did their first meeting mean so little to Kame?
“Don’t show your pain. Real men hide their pain,” the voice in his head told him, even as he sat crying in the locker room at his high school. “You want to be a real man, don’t you? Now, tell me you like it…”
Sudden voices from down the hall. Oh, no! He couldn’t be seen crying. He had to be a real man. He didn’t have a choice. Drying his eyes, he bolted out of the room, only to land on his ass as he ran to into another boy.
The pain intensified. Hide it. Hide the pain. Be a real man. Would it stop hurting if he was more of a man? Because no matter how many times he said he liked it, the truth was that it just hurt and made him feel weak and wrong.
But then there was a gentle hand reaching down for him, not at all like the one he was used to.
Looking up, Ryo saw the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen before. “Are… are you an angel?” he asked, taking hold of the offered hand.
A kind laugh. “Not hardly,” his savior said, helping him to his feet. “There, all better.” Then the other boy looked up past him. “Hmm, I don’t see anything… I don’t know what you were running from, but nothing will get better if you don’t face it, right? Come on, smile. It always helps.”
And then he smiled. The beautiful angel before him smiled and Ryo knew what he had to do. He just knew.
So the angel went one way and he went another. And it turned out his angel was the new kid on the baseball team.
And Ryo’s father just… disappeared. He disappeared so that he’d never be found. Ryo had seen to that.
Every time he saw Kame smile since that day, Ryo knew that smile was meant for him. Kame was his savior. And when they graduated, Ryo made sure to follow him to the same college. And then he followed him here, to this college.
And that’s when he found Kame hadn’t been faithful. Kame smiled now for Jin, too. So Ryo had to take what he wanted until Kame realized how wrong he was, how much he hurt him. Until Kame’s smile was only his again. Then they’d both be happy again.
As it did every time Ryo called up that memory, Ryo’s hand traveled to his lower abdomen, his fingers tracing the faint scars there, one letter at a time…
S…
L…
U…
T…
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The story continues:
Fourth Cut ~The Things We Do For Love~
A/N: I did my best not to overdo what Ryo's doing to Kame. I mean, it's a story so either it has to keep stepping up in places or something has to change; that's just how stories work. So this is one step up. I'm not going to spoil by telling how many more times it will step up (if it even does) though.
Pairing: Jin x Kame
Rating: NC-17
Genre - Catch Me: AU, angst, romance, smut, drama, tragedy
Beta by: my cat. okay, seriously, nobody
Disclaimer: I don't own KAT-TUN, any of its members, any other JE people. I write this for fun and for other fans of these fine folks. But don't steal my plots, mmkay? I put a great deal of time into them except for when I'm randomly spastically spitting words onto a page. But I value those too...
Summary - Catch Me: A dramatic turn in his life throws Kame into Jin's college world. Almost immediately they notice an attraction, but they spend more time clashing than not.
Summary - Lose Me: Kame and Jin still have the occasional argument but mostly they live happily together. But when someone from Kame's past shows up, will the two be able to deal?
Summary - Find Me: Kame has been kidnapped. Will he and Jin ever be reunited?
Warning: While "Catch Me" part is more towards the fluffy end of the scale at times, the other three parts have such things as drugs and murder and rape and all the fun parts of a bad neighborhood in a big city. Oh, and character death(s).
On my journal: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
On the akame_ Community: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
On the akame_fanfics Community: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
On the kattun_fanfics Community: Catch Me, Lose Me, Find Me, Heal Me
A/N: I'm sure you're all impatient for this after last night's cut. So here you go!
Find Me
Third Cut ~Apologies~
“But he called me! Can’t we do the thing with the phone again? Like last time?” Jin asked Ueda.
Ueda nodded, “We could find a general area for a cell phone… if it’s a home phone or a payphone, that would be better. We could find where it is exactly since those are all tied to location. But there’s just one problem.”
“Problem? What problem? Make it work! HE NEEDS ME!” Jin cried. “You didn’t hear him, Tat-chan…”
“My dad heard about the fight and my suspension.”
“So?”
“So, my family might not be so helpful this time.”
“Get her on the phone. Let me ask her.”
Ueda made the call. It took Jin almost ten minutes to convince her to help again, since once he mentioned the word “kidnapped” she wanted to send him to the police instead. But Jin already had seen the police. They weren’t any help. “Please, they don’t even believe me. But Kazu just called me. He escaped and found a phone. He didn’t know where he was so I asked him to describe it. I promised him I would find him and save him. But Ryo caught up to him. There wasn’t anything I could do. That’s why I have to find this phone! I have to find where this number calls from!”
In the end, she agreed.
The number turned out to belong to a payphone. This was the best luck they could hope for! They got the location from Ueda’s cousin’s wife. It was, as Jin suspected, not terribly far from the spot near the park, unless you count distance down, that is.
Ueda wanted to go with Jin but Jin wouldn’t let him. He had already gotten into enough trouble over this when he attacked Ryo. Jin didn’t want to see him expelled for leaving the dorms while under house restriction.
+++
Ryo’s backhand dazed Kame just enough that Ryo was able to pull him away from the phone he was clutching. “No!!” he cried, desperately reaching back for a phone that was becoming further and further away as Ryo dragged him down the street by the wrist.
In any other neighborhood, this would have raised alarm. Here, it probably wasn’t even the worst thing happening. This was NOT a good part of town.
“Wait… this isn’t the same way…?”
“You really think we can stay here now that you’ve called him? I planned on moving you today anyway, but that’s not the fucking point!” Ryo sounded completely furious. Kame had never seen him that mad before.
“No! I’m not going anywhere! Jin’s coming for me. He promised…” And Kame put the entirety of his weight into pulling away from Ryo, digging his heels in, but he just wasn’t strong enough. Why hadn’t he stayed in shape? He let himself go after baseball and he was paying for it.
Ryo dragged him along for about ten minutes and then ducked into an alley. It was a short alley, kind of z-shaped, but there was a doorway into one of the buildings at the top of two enormous uneven steps. It was there that Ryo took him to. Just inside the door was a hall, with a door on either side. Kame supposed it was some kind of duplex.
Pulling a key from his pocket, Ryo opened the door on the left and shoved Kame through it so forcefully that Kame tripped and landed face down on the floor. By the time he pushed himself back up, Ryo had stepped in and shut the door. Pocketing the key, he grabbed Kame by his hair and pulled him towards the bedroom.
When they got to the bedroom, Ryo threw him down to the floor again. Kame couldn’t even scramble to a sitting position before Ryo kicked him hard in the stomach twice. In addition to being incredibly painful, it knocked the wind out of Kame, leaving him coughing on the floor. That gave Ryo all the time he needed to grab something to tie Kame’s hands together and to the bedpost at the foot of the bed.
Ryo pulled Kame’s pants off and tossed them across the room. He pulled off his own belt, glaring down at Kame. “Now you have to be punished…” he growled angrily as he brought the belt down. Kame couldn’t even put his arms up to defend himself since they were tied to the bedpost.
Two licks had Kame crying. Five minutes had him sobbing and begging Ryo to stop. Ten minutes had him agreeing never to try to escape again. Fifteen had him promising to let Ryo do every sick, twisted thing Ryo could think of…
…and then Ryo put the belt aside and did each and every one of them while Kame cried. And hours later, when they were done with all, Ryo beat Kame with the belt yet again… just to show him that the pain and humiliation of everything they’d just done had served no purpose after all, other than to give Ryo’s arm a much-needed rest.
“Next time you misbehave, you’ll really regret it. I won’t be so nice as I was this time.”
And then, locking the bedroom door behind him, Ryo left Kame on the floor next to the bed, his wrists still tied together and to the bedpost, his body naked, bruised, bloody, and in pain… and feeling the shame of having been completely violated - both inside and out - once again.
+++
Later that evening, Ryo came back to the bedroom. “Are you ready to apologize?”
“Yes…” Kame whispered.
“I’m listening.”
“I’m sorry for running away. I won’t do it again.”
Ryo tilted his head to one side. “Hmm… I’m not sure I believe you. You’re going to have to do better. You’re going to have to show me how sorry you are.”
“Please, Ryo…”
Shaking his head, Ryo said, “I thought as much. You haven’t learned your lesson yet. You’re not sorry.” His hand reached out for the belt lying on the bedroom floor.
“No no no… not the belt! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! Let me show you! I’ll show you! Just give me the chance! Please? Please!” Kame begged.
“Very well, then.” Ryo agreed as he untied Kame’s wrists. “Show me…”
Kame closed his mind to what he was doing as he started to unbutton Ryo’s shirt. He shut out everything except the image of Jin with that big, goofy grin Kame loved so much. Imagining he was with Jin was the only way he could force his hands and mouth to obey him. Even though it stained everything he’d ever felt for Jin…
But, really, what choice did he have? After all, if he didn’t escape again, Jin had nothing to go on to find him. And Kame was never going to run again. Not ever. Ryo would catch him. Ryo always won in the end.
So, mind shut, Kame did everything he could think of to please Ryo.
+++
Jin found the phone. It was still dangling from where Kame had dropped it.
But which way to go from there? Kame mentioned a yellow building and some alleys. There were many alleys but just one yellow building, almost directly across the street from the phone. Without anything better to go by, Jin decided to check the three different alley entrances nearest the yellow building as well as, if he could find his way in, the yellow building itself.
It took forty minutes of searching but he eventually happened on an alley that had an entrance into the yellow building that had not been boarded up (though it was missing its door entirely). The place was completely trashed on the inside. Most of the building was gutted but there were four rooms. Two were locked, one was so full of junk that you couldn’t get the door completely open…
…but one had all the signs of life.
It was pitch black in the room, save for the faint light from an electric lantern on a card table next to a cot. In one corner, giving off a foul odor, was what appeared to be a bucket. Someone had spilled food all over the floor near the door.
But none of this necessarily meant Kame had been there. None of it, that is to say, except the tattered remains of Kame’s shirt in the middle of the room.
It was hours ago that Kame called him. Had they not come back here? Was this just another dead end?
Jin waited there for the entire rest of the day, but neither Ryo nor Kame came back.
So he had no clue how to find his Kazu after all…
Thinking about how scared Kame sounded on the phone, Jin put his head in his hands and wept.
+++
“Now that you’ve shown me how sorry you are, you’ve made a choice. You’ve chosen to sleep with me.” This was from Ryo. “Jin’s not going to want you back. Not anymore. If you try running again, there’s only two ways it could go. Either you fail and I’ll make the belt seem like the gentle alternative or you’ll succeed only to find I’m the only one who’ll have you now that you’re tainted. Either way, you’ll be right back here.”
And it was probably true, Kame realized. But the thought made him sick.
“If you’re a good little whore then I can make you feel so good. And if you’re not…” and Ryo gestured at the belt lying on the ground. Ryo reached a hand out towards Kame, placing his palm on Kame’s cheek to turn the younger’s gaze back to him. “Just now, your apology, that was very good. And I know you probably hurt really bad right now from being punished earlier. So I have something for you, a distraction.”
Kame watched as Ryo stood and walked over to the night stand. There was a small bag on it that Ryo must have brought in with him and Kame just didn’t notice before. He took a tiny little zip-locked bag, not even big enough to hold a quarter, out of the larger bag and tossed it to Kame. It landed on the floor in front of him.
“You enjoy that.” And Ryo took the larger bag with him as he left the room, locking the door behind him. At least Ryo didn’t tie him to anything this time.
Kame hand shook as he picked up the little plastic sachet. It had some kind of powder in it.
Wait, did Ryo really expect him to…?
A distraction, he had said.
No. No, he couldn’t. He just couldn’t. Kame dropped it back on the floor in disgust.
Well, at least Kame could explore the room, now that he wasn’t tied to the bedpost.
In theory.
He tried to rise to his feet but the pain was so bad that he fell back to his knees and nearly threw up. That in turn pulled his shoulders in towards the center of his chest, pulling at the muscles of his back even more. Forehead to the floor, he took slow, even breaths, trying to ride out the pain.
Standing had been a very bad idea. Carefully, he shifted his weight to settle on his right side; his left had born more of the brunt of the belt while his right had been semi-protected by the side of the bed. I’ll look around later, he decided.
Kame had hoped to just fall asleep but that proved just as futile as standing. And every second that passed was agony. Not just because he hurt more than he even remembered hurting (even more than when someone pushed him down those stairs), though the pain was a part. It was also because he had no idea how long it would be before Ryo would want something from him so Kame’s ears were straining to catch even the faintest sounds in fear of his return.
Hours passed. Or minutes. It was so hard to tell…
A distraction, he had said.
No! He was not seriously considering this, was he?
A distraction… to take him away from the pain…
+++
Jin spent Tuesday and Wednesday in his room. He didn’t even answer the door for his friends.
But Wednesday afternoon brought the news that, if he didn’t start attending classes again, he would be expelled and have to move out of the dorms.
He couldn’t leave. He hadn’t saved Kame yet. He wasn’t going anywhere. So, he started going to classes again.
+++
It took Kame days to work up the courage to ask Ryo, “Why me? What did I ever do to you?”
Ryo looked both sad and angry at this question. “Do you remember the first time we met?”
“Vaguely…” Kame thought for a minute. “It was… the first week at college. Uchi Hiroki introduced us, right?”
“No.” The briefest hint of despair flashed across Ryo’s face but it was rapidly replaced with seething fury. “We met before that. I suggest you think on it.” Kame flinched when it looked like Ryo was reaching towards the belt but then Ryo dropped his hand back down to his side and just stormed out of the room without punishing Kame.
Pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them, Kame tried to calm his racing heart and frantic breaths. He thought for sure he was about to be beaten again and was thanking every deity he could recall for his narrow escape.
+++
How could he not remember it? Ryo would never forget it. Did their first meeting mean so little to Kame?
“Don’t show your pain. Real men hide their pain,” the voice in his head told him, even as he sat crying in the locker room at his high school. “You want to be a real man, don’t you? Now, tell me you like it…”
Sudden voices from down the hall. Oh, no! He couldn’t be seen crying. He had to be a real man. He didn’t have a choice. Drying his eyes, he bolted out of the room, only to land on his ass as he ran to into another boy.
The pain intensified. Hide it. Hide the pain. Be a real man. Would it stop hurting if he was more of a man? Because no matter how many times he said he liked it, the truth was that it just hurt and made him feel weak and wrong.
But then there was a gentle hand reaching down for him, not at all like the one he was used to.
Looking up, Ryo saw the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen before. “Are… are you an angel?” he asked, taking hold of the offered hand.
A kind laugh. “Not hardly,” his savior said, helping him to his feet. “There, all better.” Then the other boy looked up past him. “Hmm, I don’t see anything… I don’t know what you were running from, but nothing will get better if you don’t face it, right? Come on, smile. It always helps.”
And then he smiled. The beautiful angel before him smiled and Ryo knew what he had to do. He just knew.
So the angel went one way and he went another. And it turned out his angel was the new kid on the baseball team.
And Ryo’s father just… disappeared. He disappeared so that he’d never be found. Ryo had seen to that.
Every time he saw Kame smile since that day, Ryo knew that smile was meant for him. Kame was his savior. And when they graduated, Ryo made sure to follow him to the same college. And then he followed him here, to this college.
And that’s when he found Kame hadn’t been faithful. Kame smiled now for Jin, too. So Ryo had to take what he wanted until Kame realized how wrong he was, how much he hurt him. Until Kame’s smile was only his again. Then they’d both be happy again.
As it did every time Ryo called up that memory, Ryo’s hand traveled to his lower abdomen, his fingers tracing the faint scars there, one letter at a time…
S…
L…
U…
T…
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The story continues:
Fourth Cut ~The Things We Do For Love~
A/N: I did my best not to overdo what Ryo's doing to Kame. I mean, it's a story so either it has to keep stepping up in places or something has to change; that's just how stories work. So this is one step up. I'm not going to spoil by telling how many more times it will step up (if it even does) though.