[fic] Impressionable youth - Yugioh, 'Atemu'xYugi, angst/romance, PG, theme 022 (100_chances)

[aijou_aibou]

Theme: 022- Impressionable youth; for 100_chances
Author: Chey (duelist_gurl163)
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst/romance
Pairings: 'Atemu'xYugi

Archive: Here
Warnings: AU

Spoilers: None.
Summary: A broken voice, broken life, broken body...the only thing Atemu had held together was his heart and now Yugi knew he was going to shatter that as well.
Disclaimer: Yugioh isn't mine. If it was, it wouldn't have ended the way it did, despite what all the angst fics say. >.>
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There was the gentle click of a latch being slid back, and then one of the wall panels was pushed open. Atemu sat up on his bed to smile at the visitor, who silently closed the panel and plunged the small room back into darkness, except for the flicker of a candle he was holding. Setting it upon a candle holder on the wall, the young man who had entered tried to smile back.

“Hi Atemu. How are you?”

“Hi Yugi. Not bad. And you?”

“Fine.” Yugi reached out to hug him and Atemu hugged him back as tightly as he always did, but as he pulled away he looked troubled. Normally he loved their hugs, but tonight the closeness caused him to realize that something was wrong. Yugi’s posture, muscles, and grip were all tense and unfamiliar. “Yugi…is something bothering you?”

The strange, stilted quality of Atemu’s voice was nothing new. He had spoken that way all his life, pronouncing words in unusual ways and taking breaths in the middle of sentences. But even past the choppiness Yugi could hear suspicion in his tone. There was no point in hiding it; Yugi knew he had to give him the news either way, but he had hoped to put it off. “Yes…there is.” He sat down across from Atemu, sighing. “Mother is sending me away.”

Atemu’s eyes, the only part of him Yugi could clearly see by candlelight, looked devastated. “Why?”

“She says it is because I will be of age soon and she wants me to learn a trade. In reality…she found out I have been visiting you.”

“But you have always been so careful, all these years. How did she-?”

He shook his head. “I am not sure…someone must have seen me coming here and told her. Probably one of the other servants. She fears that if the master of the house finds out, he will take matters into his own hands. She thinks it safer if I just leave under the guise of becoming an apprentice.”

“When do you leave?” Atemu asked, his throat constricting.

“Tomorrow morning.”

The look of devastation deepened. Yugi could see his silhouette trembling, and found himself remembering the first time he had seen Atemu. He himself had only been four years old, wandering about the mansion by himself one evening to avoid washing dishes with his mother, one of the housemaids. Curiosity had drawn him to a staircase in the back of the house where nobody ever went, where he heard the sound of someone crying. After some poking around in the basement at the foot of the stairs, he had discovered a panel with another panel behind it. There was a sliding lock on the outside of the second, and behind it a hidden room and a crib holding a small boy a few years younger than himself. He was out of bounds and sure to get in trouble if his mother found out, but even then he felt something was not right, and asked his mother later why the child was kept hidden and alone. To his surprise she had not told him off. Instead she just ordered him fiercely:

That is the master’s business. You must never speak to anyone about it, do you understand? I forbid you to ever go back to that room. Forget what you saw.

But he had gone back anyway. It took several years to understand that Atemu was the master’s son, born to a woman who had supposedly killed herself by jumping from a cliff. Eavesdropping on the servants who knew the secret had told a very different story - that of a mistress who had died in childbirth, whose body the master had placed to convince everyone she had died falling from the cliff to the rocky valley below, and of an illegitimate son he kept hidden from the world.

A son who was now a teenager, staring at him, looking crushed and betrayed.

“So why are you here?” Atemu finally asked. “You should be asleep. Resting for the big day.”

“I wanted to tell you, so you would know where I went.”

“Well, you told me.”

Yugi touched his cheek. “I will come back for you.”

Atemu looked away. “Why bother?”

“Atemu, we swore to each other when we were little that one day we would leave here. Together. You think I have forgotten that promise? That I would really leave here forever without you?”

“We were children then.”

“And that made it mean any less?” Yugi frowned.

“No. It was just…easier to believe, then.” Atemu glanced up at him. “I thought that dream could be real. But now, I am not so sure. Learning a trade can take years. I will be of age in less than two years, and I do not…I do not know what Father will do with me once I become an adult. I might not…be here much longer.”

Yugi shook his head. “No. He would not.”

“I think he would.”

“He cannot!” Yugi almost snapped.

“He is the most powerful man in the village. He can do anything he wants. He can pay enough people to be sure...that nobody knows.”

Yugi refused to listen. “Then why did he not kill you as a baby? Why has he always made sure you survived your sicknesses, why has he not let you starve? He will keep you alive, and I will come back for you!”

“I think he has only kept me alive out of guilt and fear. He may be cold, but not enough to kill a baby. Besides, it was easy to claim my mother had...jumped from the nearby cliff. If a baby had been found, or if anyone had even known she was pregnant at all...it would have been clear it was more than an accident or suicide. It was easier to pretend she was...never pregnant and to lock me away. But I think, as I have grown up, he has begun to lose whatever bit of compassion he had. I..." He broke off, coughing. This was one of the longest pieces of speech Yugi had ever heard from him, but Yugi could tell by the look in his eyes that he did not want to be interrupted. "I...have noticed changes. Every year I suspect he is less and less inclined to make sure I survive. Once I become an adult, he will probably be able to convince himself I am a threat…and will come up with a reason to do away with me.”

The words were bad enough; the acceptance in his voice was worse. Yugi could not listen any longer and burst out: “Atemu, no. That will not happen. You cannot let that happen!”

“And what would you have me do, run away? I need your help, Yugi. I cannot run away on my own. Father would never let me escape the grounds, and I...do not even know my way around the building. I would be caught. I am not strong. I could not fight off anyone who tried to stop me.”

Yugi wanted to tell Atemu to stop acting like a victim. He wanted to tell him to fight. Unfortunately, he knew that Atemu was telling the truth. He was weak, made only more so by chronic illness, and - Yugi knew - too unfamiliar with the property to escape unseen. Yugi was the only person who could help him, and he was leaving.

“Atemu, I do not have the ability to get you out of here right now. I need money and time to make plans. But I will think of something, and then I will come back,” he said and touched his shoulder. Atemu flinched and shrugged his hand off.

“Just go,” he mumbled, turning away. “Just leave. I will be fine on my own.”

Yugi’s eyes filled with tears. “Atemu, please understand-”

“Go away!”

“…Alright.” Yugi backed up toward the swinging panel. “Good…good-bye then.”

He received no answer from the other, and turned away sadly. He supposed he could not have expected any less. Of course Atemu would be hurt, he had every right to be, but did he not realize that Yugi was hurting just as much?

Then a quiet voice drifted back. “Yugi, wait.”

When Yugi turned, Atemu threw himself into his arms, shaking with sobs. Yugi’s arms, his touch, his hugs…they held everything Atemu had been deprived of. None of the servants wanted anything to do with him, none of them ever spent time with him or even talked to him. They took care of him as a baby and brought him food and medicine, that was all. This room was the only home he knew, and even in summer it was damp and chilly. No matter how tightly he wrapped himself in blankets, the cold never left. Yugi had been the first person to hug him, to hold him and give him any kind of warmth. He was the person who finally taught him to speak and told him what the world outside was like. The first person to make the loneliness go away; to bring him conversation and laughter…and love.

“Yugi…you have been everything to me. Please do not forget me.”

“I would never,” Yugi whispered, stroking his hair as his tears escaped. “I promise, I will never forget. Just wait for me, alright? We will have our dream. I will make sure to come back before you are an adult, and we will escape together. I will have a trade, and I can teach it to you, and we can move to a new village and start new lives. Just like we planned.” He looked up, meeting Atemu’s gaze and trying to smile reassuringly, and in his face Atemu saw the pain he was trying to conceal. He hated to see Yugi look so hurt, but could do nothing to comfort him. Deep down Atemu doubted he would live to see that dream, but right now it was the only comfort either of them had, so he stared back, overwhelmed with feelings he did not understand, and whispered, “I will wait.”

Yugi’s hands were gentle on Atemu’s back, caressing, holding the young man whose age he could sometimes barely believe. In some ways, Atemu seemed so much younger than him, far younger than only a two-year difference. But in his eyes he looked ancient; old, deep eyes that were trained on his, with some sort of longing in them. Yugi leaned in, answering their silent request, brushing Atemu’s dry lips with his own. With a whimper of desperation, Atemu returned the kiss, completing it, forgetting for a split second everything he was losing in a rush of new emotions.

When they finally broke apart, Yugi whispered into his hair, “I love you, Atemu.”

Trembling, Atemu nodded. “I l-love you too, I…Yugi…” Overpowered by tears, unable to say what he knew he should say, he shoved Yugi away from him and curled in the corner, hiding his face so that he would not have to see him leave or see the empty place he would leave behind.

Picking up the candle, Yugi backed out of the room and closed the door. Hands shaking, he pulled the latch to lock it and took off at a run.

Back in the room, blinded by darkness, Atemu finally murmured the words he had been unable to bring himself to voice to Yugi.

“Good-bye.”

X - X - X
Notes: Somewhat long notes this time. xD But first, a request: is anyone out there knowledgeable about the mental health care system of Japan, particularly in regards to insurance? Because if you are, I need your expertise. I’ve found plenty of information on the national health insurance they have, (which sounds pretty damn spiffy), but they never mention whether or not it applies to therapy/prescription drugs or how much the fees are. The information will save the upcoming chapter fic that is currently trying to crash and burn on me. Please drop me a line if you think you can help.

I actually got the idea for this from the first volume of Kindaichi Case Files. x3 And I decided to make Atemu the unwanted son just because younger-than-Yugi!Atemu is one of my guilty pleasures. I might be setting myself up to be laughed at here, but I have to say…I’m actually really happy with this theme. I was excited to post it. The excitement actually overrode the nervousness and that hasn’t happened…in a very, very long time. Part of me wants to take the premise and add more subplots and more twists and turn it into a chapter fic, (or even an original story). However, I’m curious to see what you guys think of this one since it’s very AU and normally my AU ones aren’t so far off from the canon world. Writing this has made me want to do up some drastically-AU ones for other themes. Reviews are ALWAYS welcome, but they’ll be a bit more welcome than usual this time. x3