Hi, you've reached Ms. Laurel Juspeczyk. Please leave a message, unless you're calling to complain about the way I run my classes.

Mother, I am not moving to California, so stop asking.

-sharp tone-

Hello, I'm Ms. Juspeczyk (you can call me Ms. J if you absolutely have to, it's better than slaughtering my last name). Welcome to the guidance office. While I'm sure that Bob and Tim are both fighting for your affections and you 'just don't know who to choose', that's not my problem. If you think the water is filled with fluoride, bring it up with ( Read more... )

"Teach sexual education!", my mother said.
"Become a guidance counselor!", my mother said.
"Teach women's studies!", my mother said.

Why did I listen to my mother?

Also, this 'no smoking on school property' rule is balls.

Does anyone know another word for 'engorged'?

I need some more cigarettes...