Okay kids, here's the deal.
Hello, I'm Ms. Juspeczyk (you can call me Ms. J if you absolutely have to, it's better than slaughtering my last name). Welcome to the guidance office. While I'm sure that Bob and Tim are both fighting for your affections and you 'just don't know who to choose', that's not my problem. If you think the water is filled with fluoride, bring it up with the administration. If you think the 'no smoking' rule is unfair, join the club. If you have a legitimate problem that I can actually help you with, whether it's scheduling or the fact that you can't help but want to light Mr. Veidt's purple jackets on fire, I'm here. If the lunch ladies complain that you flashed them (even if it was a bratwurst, Eddie - you optimist), you'll probably be in here and we'll have to talk about it, so please. Don't.
If you're not in here for guidance, it's probably because I'm the Women's Studies and Sexual Education teacher. Yes, I just said 'sexual'. No, there's no need to laugh at it. I will not supply you with porn or sex toys of any sort, though the nurse's office has condoms (and lube, if you ask nicely). The Kama Sutra may be on the required reading list, but that does not mean you are allowed to speak about it at inappropriate times or, God forbid, practice the things within it unless you and your partner(s) are of legal age. I will not demonstrate things for you, either.
No, I am not a fem-Nazi. No, I will not 'shut up and make you a sandwich'. Bigotry is not be allowed in my classroom; however, the next smart-mouthed boy to call me a bigot because I don't believe in sexism will be dealt with in a manner I find fitting. You will not like it.
If I'm writing my novel, either contribute ideas or don't bother me. If I need a smoke... well, be careful. And for Christ's sake, don't talk about my mother unless I bring it up first.
If you're not in here for guidance, it's probably because I'm the Women's Studies and Sexual Education teacher. Yes, I just said 'sexual'. No, there's no need to laugh at it. I will not supply you with porn or sex toys of any sort, though the nurse's office has condoms (and lube, if you ask nicely). The Kama Sutra may be on the required reading list, but that does not mean you are allowed to speak about it at inappropriate times or, God forbid, practice the things within it unless you and your partner(s) are of legal age. I will not demonstrate things for you, either.
No, I am not a fem-Nazi. No, I will not 'shut up and make you a sandwich'. Bigotry is not be allowed in my classroom; however, the next smart-mouthed boy to call me a bigot because I don't believe in sexism will be dealt with in a manner I find fitting. You will not like it.
If I'm writing my novel, either contribute ideas or don't bother me. If I need a smoke... well, be careful. And for Christ's sake, don't talk about my mother unless I bring it up first.