Today my baby left.

She flew out on the morning jet plane, and she's not coming back tomorrow.

I missed her already, but I'm too busy not sleeping to grieve, apparently. If I get any sleep tonight I will be amazed, so I figured 2 minutes posting wouldn't kill me.

Why can't I get used to people leaving? Shouldn't I be used to this by now?

I missed today
The colors of the sun
The sun it shined
My heart it hid
in the shadows of anger
while bemoaning its downcast state
My heart turned inside out and spat on the world

The color of the grass
was my stomach churning
The blue skies were too bright
for my blue mood

I missed today.
I was too angry.

It's not fair, Karen. You get to post at work. I.E. during the day while you're conscious. Oh dear. This was such a good idea until I started typing. Life has been crappy lately. Why else post? My wallet was stolen, and I've spent hours on the phone with various companies/the police trying to figure everything. And of course there was a lot ( Read more... )

When the cold wind blows
It breaches the bubble
Of warmth
It brings with itself
An all-consuming
negative energy

When the cold wind blows
It takes the very thought
Of warmth
It takes with it
All my energy
All my love

When the cold wind leaves
I'm still cold.

Every once in a while I have a day like today ( Read more... )

Words & music by paul simon ( Read more... )

I told myself I wasn't going to journal over christmas break but it's addicting I guess. So I'll do it. Just this once ( Read more... )

I don't know why I feel so lonely... not only am I surrounded by people, but they seem to like me. They seem to enjoy spending time with me. And yet I cut them off from my inner being, the place where I feel fellowship. Perhaps it's a part of the search for identity - to know who you are apart from others ( Read more... )

Lately I don't feel like I'm living up to all the potential of how I've been raised. I had amazing parents, I was protected from nasty people, I had good friends and some positive social interaction, so why am I so messed up? Why do I withdraw from interacting with people? I want to blame it all on Bible college and its stupid high-school ( Read more... )

Although nothing in my world upset itself tonight, I made some major changes. I've had it with the journalism program at Multnomah, it makes me sick. We decided tonight that it should be re-named: "How to write a christian women's magazine in the '80s." That's about all it's good for, unless you manage to match her personality perfectly. And I ( Read more... )