i'm messed up

[veraivans]

 I loved a boy, who is older than me (he is 23 and I'm only 16 now) almost for a year. This may we had kind of a conversation and I told him about my feelings. He told me that he is not as good as I imagine and that we shold not be together. We started to row, I said that he is too selfish and that loving him was a great mistake. We did not talk

Comments

[ginamariewade]

He told me that he is not as good as I imagine and that we shold not be together.

If someone says something like this to you, believe them. It's either completely true, or it's a nice way of telling you that they don't reciprocate the feelings.

As for spending recklessly because you're lonely - that's another kettle of fish altogether.

[marblespire]

Okay, first off:

> there's no other boy who could understand me

I know I sound like an old fogey, but I have to call bullshit on this. It may feel that way right now, but if you give it time and keep meeting other people, you'll find yourself in good company. (Besides, there are probably people here who understand you. And some of us are guys. ;D)

In the meanwhile, focus on the other things. Spend more time with your friends. Spend more time on your hobbies. Start new ones in both categories. It's a sad fact, but the only thing that can help you deal with loss is passing time. So you might as well keep yourself busy--makes the time pass faster.

As ginamariewade said, compulsive shopping is a completely different issue. If you want to stop doing that, well... it's time to firm up your willpower. Or your logic. Remind yourself that you're probably not going to use (or maybe even like) all these clothes in a few months, and that it might be smarter to save money for, say, going on dates with new boys. ;D

[katelovesyou]

Ughh, no offense, but you keep calling him a "boy." He is a MAN, and you are a GIRL. I'm 22. There is no way in heck that I would even CONSIDER dating a 15 year old. That's probably how he feels and doesn't want to be mean to you. I mean, he cant even take you out to the bar for a drink.

My advice, cut him out of your life for good. Block him on your social networks, delete his number. Dont tell him, dont give him an excuse. You owe him nothing. Have you considered counseling, maybe? For the extreme attachment issues?

Eventually you'll find a nice guy who appreciates you for YOU, and wont go to jail for dating you.

[slyprentice]

I'm not disagreeing but as to the age issue, whether it's legal or not entirely depends on where she lives.

[technocratic]

She said "row", so I'm guessing she lives in the UK. But still, 16 and 23 is a big difference. I know someone who made a 16/32 age difference work (been married for 10+ years, had three wonderful kids, and are wonderful people who care about each other very much), but that's the exception rather than the rule.

Or, y'know, Russia, if her "location" is correct. Heh.

[slyprentice]

Like I said, I wasn't disagreeing -- the age gap is significant at her age, since she's still emotionally and physically developing -- but what is legal and what is not entirely depends on where you live, even with your own country/state/province/etc.

I'm impressed with the person you know! I was mature for my age when I was 16 and had mostly adult friends but even so, I probably would have drove a significant other batty. :P

Problems

[boxerpaws]

that is a huge age difference.He should have known better

[morganna_le]

from looking at what other people other people have said, you've heard a fair amount about the age differences. While I can't say that going after someone older on purpose is a good idea at our age