i'm messed up

[veraivans]

 I loved a boy, who is older than me (he is 23 and I'm only 16 now) almost for a year. This may we had kind of a conversation and I told him about my feelings. He told me that he is not as good as I imagine and that we shold not be together. We started to row, I said that he is too selfish and that loving him was a great mistake. We did not talk

Comments

[mckee92]

Honestly, if you dont want to fall in love with him, but feel like if you keep talking to/seeing him then you will, cut all ties. Its shitty to do something like that, but if you cannot stop yourself otherwise, then its all you can really do.

If you have shared a lot, it really really hurts to do that, but time is a good healer (cliche) and a keeping yourself busy helps a lot too. Get into some really new and intersting hobbies, hang out with friends or start some kind of project or anything.

There are other boys who can understand you, honest. If you feel lonely, keep busy, like I said above.

Hope it all works out.

Hello

[kris10love]

I don't know if my advice will help any, but I've been through the ringer with men. I'm 19 years old and I have been through a lot. I've been in the situation you're in plenty of times. It's never good to become so obsessed with a person that you create an addiction in your life. Although it's not good, it IS very understandable. I just have been hurt too many times. There is a massive age difference so you have to understand, although you're probably very mature for your age. He's had different life experiences than you and about six more years of them. The same problem lies between my husband and I. (I got married to him when I was eighteen and there's a five year age difference.) The main reason for any problems between the two of us is that age difference. Anyways if you want to discuss this more, feel free to hit me up on my livejournal. It's a lot easier to give advice when you're talking in "real-time"

[zhyt_krasotoj]

Honestly, if he's able to just leave you for 10 months and occasionally come in contact with you for personal pleasure/entertainment then you know that he's not interested. The fact that you're lonely means you should go out with friends and maybe go clubbing or attend some sort of social gathering. If you are in need of a shoulder to cry on or someone to confess to go to church. Do something just do not go back to an older guy who thinks of you as an 'extra' in his life. Doing this will degrade you morally.
I do not know the guy, I do not know the details of the break up but from what I read it seems like you should get more social and try to stop thinking about this guy.
Best of luck :)

I'm going to be brutally honest here

[wind_hover]

Don't fall in love with him.

I didn't really care about the age difference, but to me, the part that I thought wasn't right was this: but I'm so lonely at the moment, and there's no other boy who could understand me.
You don't need a boyfriend
This is the most important part. It sounds like you just want a boyfriend, and he's the convenient target.

NO

Seriously, there's more to life - there ought to be more to you - than a significant other. MOVE ON. You don't need a boyfriend. Look for more than that - look for a friend first. It shouldn't be him.

I cannot stress this enough. Have other friends - your family? your teachers, even, if you're desperate. Make other friends if you have to. There is no need to focus on this one guy - and you shouldn't.

Or spend your time studying, because you need to improve your English...

Re: I'm going to be brutally honest here

[we_got_caught]

The OP is clearly not a native English speaker.

[veraivans]

Thanks a lot to all of you, I appriciate all the advices, and it all helped me to make some conclusions. I'm actuallu taking biology, chemistry, math and art courses beside the school - so I'm absolytly busy. I actually live in Russia and I do not like in at all - I've been to the US 5 times and I really love the USA (my father lives there, but we do not communikate at the moment...). Here, in Russia, it's common that even 13etfus old girl dates and (!!!!) even has sex with a 18-19 years old guy. I think that it's awful. But guys of my age are often rude and selfish because they stay being kids for a little longer time than girls.