coming and going isn't really life, is it? i think i'll disappear when i go to grad school. maybe tell most people i'm going somewhere else. tell them texas when i'm going to pennsylvania or pennsylvania when i'm going to new york. it's not about hiding really, i don't know how to explain it. all my life i've had this impulse to disappear for ( Read more... )

and for the record, there seems to be a rumor going around that i am a cokehead. well, let's shoot it dead in the water. i've never in my life done coke, and i never intend to. i am an insomniac as it is, why in the hell would i do coke? thanks.

b.

here is the thing about getting better: sometimes she writes things and it only makes it worse. but i stopped drinking recklessly three weeks ago. and i haven't done anything i will regret since then. i know she doesn't know i had the suicide cops called on me earlier this semester. i know she doesn't know that i haven't been doing well. i know she ( Read more... )

The song ends, and Ben Folds Five comes on. Twin Falls. It’s a Mixed CD. I wonder who made it for Kallie. Maybe Nick? Ben? Holland? As far as I know, they were her only friends that last year of high school. After dad died, everyone was silent. One big dumb block. What could they say? Nothing. Nothing. Not a thing. But Holland was different ( Read more... )

I wrote four poems tonight. It felt fucking good. I haven't written a lot of poetry in so long, and i think i was storing it up. I don't know if i necessarily like all of them, i have to look at them again tommorow. But i am so ecstatic to be writing again, i needed to put them up. For some reason, i always write love poetry or love esque poetry ( Read more... )

I feel like this beautiful little statue on this building in Belguim I used to walk to sometimes when I was sad. It's this young girl with a stone bird on her shoulder, and she and the bird get each other, but they are both melencholy, alone on top of this pillar over a doorway. They're looking at each other, and she's about to set the bird free. I ( Read more... )

Main Entry: anom·a·ly ( Read more... )

I bought a fake engagement ring today so the people waiting to see their POs will stop hitting on me every time i leave the office ( Read more... )

“Grace, Kallie ( Read more... )

I’m still confused when I reach Kallie’s room. Try as I might, nothing about their immigration comes back to me. My mother may have been with them, but wouldn’t I have heard something? I scan the conversations, my grandmother’s voice, but very little is there. Maybe they never talked about it. My head hurts. I walk over to my sister’s cd player. It ( Read more... )