I have waited too late in the day to remember much of my dream last night. But I do remember that at one point I was having my wedding portraits done. The setting was an old, dingy apartment. I was facing a window, away from the camera, holding onto the frame and had my head thrown back. The dress was fitted, antique lace, with a very low neckline ( Read more... )

Last night I dreamed that I was working with a youth group in Orlando. I was disappointed when I found out that was the city we were in. I had the thought to go somewhere else and team up with another youth group to kind of have a sister church, combining forces and broadening horizons. I was discouraged when an older member of the ministry said ( Read more... )

I dreamed last night that I missed my flight to Pismo Beach for my DTS. I wasn't even packed when I got to the airport. My family had actually gone there to see Anna off again. That's when I checked my flight schedule while there and found out that I had missed it already by several hours. I wasn't surprised, though, oddly enough. Disappointed in ( Read more... )

Went to the 360* U2 concert two nights ago. I mostly did not enjoy it. I don't know if I was just in a disagreeable mood that day, if it was because I was so cold and so tired, so far away in our stadium seats, if it was the company, my expectations... or what ( Read more... )

Emily and I decided to meet up for New Year's Eve. We had not seen each other since the Cape in August, after having lived together for the year from Hell in Cleveland. Neither one of us thought that we would end up being in the same place for the new year, as I thought I would be in Hawaii and she thought she would be in Cleveland for our roommate ( Read more... )

Over the past few weeks I have encountered a state of mind I have not experienced in several years. I have never thought of myself as having trust issues, generally because I stoically accept human frailty and am a free-thinker enough that I don't require authority to feel validated in my own convictions. But recently I have found myself teatering ( Read more... )

here's to picking up pine cones in the back yard ( Read more... )

I sent him an e-mail a few weeks ago. Every day I find the terrential sea of my inbox filled with waves of impersonal retail promotionals and recipes,holiday forwards and blog updates, bill statements, payment confirmations, secret shop opportunities and blah blah blah. Nothing from that one name. I try to tell myself that I know he rarely checks ( Read more... )

I want to grab a hold of myself a year and a half ago and shake the unbelief right out of me. Wish I could have held in my hand something white and perfect to illustrate what I still had, held it up against the future and contrasted the difference between now and then. Wish I could have told myself that the warnings they gave were not for a looming ( Read more... )

he got married yesterday. to her.

bazaar. that's all. sincerely relieved it wasn't me. but still.... you know....

(I don't know why, but I somehow take small comfort in the fact that I called it... before they would even admit to the public that there was anything developing between them.)