Fitter, happier, more productive ( Read more... )

I should be mostly content right now, you know I really should. I'm not trying to look for the negative, or what leaves me wanting, because it's evident. It's just that feeling of coming down from something that you made to be a big deal. It's the mother superior fix, that you just can't seem to duplicate. The grandeur surrounding you pales against ( Read more... )

I'm a total fucking mess right now. Someone broke into my fucking house yesterday. I was beyond the point of enraged, I didn't know how to handle it. I know a lot of it is just stuff, but some of that stuff is priceless to me. Some degenerate assholes came in and fucking ripped my world apart.I think I know who it was and that makes it worse.I ( Read more... )

Last thing I remember was supporting myself against the bathroom cabinet, staring plainly at the grooves in the carpet. Nick's on the phone, and he's telling me to find some water and sleep it off. I'm slipping away slowly as I drop the phone, and knowing that it was all too much, but I imbibed all the more.The first time in a long time that I didn ( Read more... )

"You can bring me flowers babe, when I'm dead and gone ( Read more... )

After a few months of little to no drinking, I have decided that I was being too stuffy about all of that, or maybe it's just the atmosphere. All of the sudden I have discovered that I can actually get into places with no problem.It's not really that I intended on this it just kinda happened and somewhat progressed. I guess this is a must ( Read more... )

So I shellacked everything back together I guess, at least for now. Everything is held together loosely, and most aspects are looking good and much improved. Distraction is not hard to find, and I guess it helps ease things a bit. What else could I do? It seems that I was disposed of in a fashion that I could never possibly imagine, but then again ( Read more... )

I hope I get so busy that I'll forget ( Read more... )

I don't care if anyone ever takes the time to even acknowledge any of this, because this is just about me fucking documenting it all. To look back a year from now and to have grown from all of this. My mind is bursting at the seams right now, overstocked with every feeling, thought and emotion imaginable. It's a wasteland, it's fucking ground zero ( Read more... )

You're always too drunk, too stoned, to slow, too high, too far gone. You can't handle anything sober, you don't know what it is anymore to feel everything without enhancement or something to sedate or relax you. Self-medicated stupor,devoid of any real emotion, false sense of self and surroundings. This is the only way you know how to function ( Read more... )