Lucas Lee • Take 35 • Video

[bbcarrotcooler]

[The saddest movie star of all time is staring into the camera. Just his face is visible, his eyes full of tears--but not crying. Just glassy.]

No one is safe.

[Lucas backs up to show off his full head of green hair, including green stubble, green eyebrows...and...it can be assumed...that all other hair on his body is bright green.]I don't think

Comments

[hairlikethis]

HAHA! Hahaha... oh my god... what-- HAHAHAHAAHAHA! DUDE!

[bbcarrotcooler]

...why.

Why are you laughing at me?

[hairlikethis]

YOUR HEAD IS BROCCOLI! Hahahahahaha!

[bbcarrotcooler]

Oh my god I HATE BROCCOLI. Oh my god.

Hey--hey who am I--

"I change my hair color for dumb shit reasons! I'm an individual! Star barrette!"

[video]

[myfieryballs]

[Staring.

So much staring.]

...Lucas.

...L-Lucas.

...You're...they changed you.

[video]

[bbcarrotcooler]

Matthew!

They...

[He looks down at his feet, and then slowly raises his eyes in shame. Movie star style.]

They made me ugly.

And green!

[video]

[myfieryballs]

No. No no no no no. You're not ugly!!!

But...your hair!!! That's not...n-not allowed! No!!!

Oh my god. You can't shave it. You'll be like...that guy. In that movie. The guy with lightning powers and everyone hated him and in the end he ran away and went back to heaven on a lightning bolt.

FUCK.

D-do I need to come over?!

[video]

[bbcarrotcooler]

POWDER??????

[He covers his face in his hands.]

I--

But I hate that movie.

I hate it so much, Matty.

I hate it more than The Notebook.

[ecto_biologist]

[We give you one tired dweeb. Staring at this.

Staring.]

So... do I cal you -pff- Smokestack or... -heheh- The Jolly Green Giant?

[OKAY NO HE'S SORRY THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING ACTIONBRO, HE IS LAUGHING SO HARD]

[bbcarrotcooler]

...why are you being mean. We're friends!

...aren't we?

You can call me....Mr. Clean. Once I find my razor.

And an earring.

[ecto_biologist]

Of course we are, dude - friends just bust each other's chops sometimes. Don't worry, you'll probably punch my arm once you get back to your normal thought process.

[He giggles a little at Mr. Clean.]

Mr. Clean has a nice ring to it, that's for sure.

[bbcarrotcooler]

No--no, dude. An earring. You...you obviously don't clean enough.

...do you have hair dye?

Or a permanent marker?

[onteamdyson]

.... All? All of--

[She can't brain enough as it is, Lucas! Jeeze.]

[bbcarrotcooler]

...like a--

Like that cat.

[onteamdyson]

Cat?! Where?! What...

Cat's green-- aren't green. Lucas! Cats... your everywhere?! Is-- your... green everywhere?! [Talking is hard. Kenzi just pouts.]

[bbcarrotcooler]

No--not...not here. From Austin Powers. Dr. Evil's....remember? No hair.

[Lucas's eyes grow wide. He didn't think about that. So, he undoes his fly and looks down--all of camera, of course. His eyes somehow manage to get even wider.]

...Kenzi.

You know when...when people say...like they call it....a bush?

[supervegan]

Green is my favorite color.

[bbcarrotcooler]

...on my head?

[supervegan]

Pretty much anywhere. It's not less green because it's on your head.

[bbcarrotcooler]

Yeah but it's more...

...stupid.

Todd, can you make it blond like yours?