позамахивалась на святое... || one more translation (rus -> eng)

[a__ya]

Ничего не могу с собой поделать - первая строфа ассоциативно вылезла из памяти и тут же влезла в английский. Пришлось допереводить и остальные. Не корысти ради

Comments

[yorukamome]

...thank you, my beautiful deephearted redheaded one... ;P

gabbiano

[a__ya]

Maestro (in all meanings) Bulat Shulvovich was realy deepESThearted one... :)

well... if redheaded, then redheaded. as you wish ))
but why?.. WHY?

[yorukamome]

well, dunno....but why not? ;P

[a__ya]

hmm... I'm looking horridly with red hair )))

[b_oki]

a beautiful poem and translation by Bulot Okudgava and you! a lovely poem of music and human nature blended together.

might i mention just a few spellings and punctuations? you have done a very nice job translating. i'm not an English major, but will give you what i think is correct :)

Line 2: 'cooper' should be 'copper' ?
Line 3: 'there're' should be 'there are' ?
Lines 9 & 11: take out the commas

please explain line 2 to me. what does this mean? :)

what a beautiful poem! i LOVE the last line!!!

thank you for sharing,
bette.

[a__ya]

dear bette!

thank you for your kindest words! and for pointing my misprints and inaccuracies :)
certain! it's "copper" and "there are" )
and your notice about commas is important for me - each language has its own rules, but, through habbit, I put commas as I use to do in russian ))

14 line... I'll try )
author says, that melody streams in his blood notwithstanding all his prayers and lament/moaning (in poetical meaning of this word)... it looks like he don't want to let this tune in...
I used some oldfashioned words: 'beads' in meaning of prayer, and 'jeremiad' instead of moaning/lament (according to my dictionary "jeremiad' is originally from Jeremiah Weeping from Old Testament) in order to reproduce the original style of the poem... but I doubt about it.
dunno whether I explained it certainly... is it clearer now?
if you can suggest me some other version of this line I'll thank you kindly!

[b_oki]

oops! in my last note i meant to say,

please explain line "14" to me!!! (not line 2)

thank you!

[a__ya]

hope it's inderstandable that original poem by B. Okudgava is russian...
last gabbiano's haiku inspirated me for this translation :)

Bulat Okudgava was IS the brilliant russian poet & bard of last century. All his poems are based on simple, haiku-like images... but the common impression is always the deepest. Dunno if his poems have ever being translated into other languages... but among russians (and 'soviets' as well) there're no more such wellknown poets (except Vladimir Vysotsky) I think.