On Control (x posted)

[ambersarchives]

You know, sometimes I wonder what I long for most in this life. If I read back in my journal, I notice a lot of my entries have to do with Love. Really, I think the basis behind it is the longing for someone to accept who I am, without any hint of hesitation

Comments

[tigerfae]

I totally agree with you about control issues. I am an extremely controlling person and I freak when I lose it or it is taken from me. It got to the point where I would rebel against my feelings for the people I love because I felt like they had too much control over me.

I think I've gotten better over the years, because as I've chosen a spouse and had a child, I've learned to give up a good deal of control in lieu of cooperation. Otherwise this family wouldn't work! But all the things you listed are things I've also noticed in abuse survivors. It's a horrible cycle of pain.

[peace_joy_love]

...from what I know of this...control is the key factor...it was taken away and now the need for it is overwhelming to the point of self-abuse, the ultimate being suicide...

...there are other ways to deal with this but so many just go towards a "self-medicating" therapy and many times that is short-sighted by its very nature and ultimately not what will last in getting thru the pain of the original suffering...

...hope that helps...let me know if you'd like to talk more...ok?...

[ambersarchives]

I always like to talk to people. If anyone at all wants to talk about...well, almost anything, I'd be more than happy to carry on a conversation. Talking is healing to me, if you're in the right state of mind to allow it to be healing.

So, for anyone who wants to e-mail: AirRsis@aol.com

Correction

[ambersarchives]

Sorry, that would be AirRsis@YAHOO.com, not aol.

[peace_joy_love]

...and mine is mark@peace-joy-love.org with my website being listed on my info, if you'd care to look it over and get some idea more about me...

...list me and I'll do the same and then, if you want, just start talking about what's on your mind now, via e-mails and I'll answer back...

[just_micky]

hiya hey i understand about what your saying about people accepting you for what you are.I had that problem with my daughters mother and was the main reason she left cause she just couldnt cope with the fact i was so negative about myself.I think though its hard to accept yourself if you have been abused in some way.I used to cut myself too but managed to stop years ago.I dont think its neccesarily right to say we do it to take some form of control over something cause i did it just to hurt myself cause i hated myself.yea i agree with the smoking/drinking stuff but i think that can be cause you hate yourself rather than taking control in some way.hey thats why i did all those things and the suicide attempts .one thing i do know is all my friends accept me for who i am but then if they didnt they wouldnt be my friends.hope you can find the answers you want .
micky

[lieuwecaritas]

(The keyword for this icon is, btw: Control)

Over the summer, I had a particularly bad experience involving cutting, which resulted in what seems to be a scar on my left wrist. My family caught me at it and basically it lead me to contemplate why I was cutting up my ankle and left arm every so often. I came to the conclusion that I did it to reassert control in issues where I felt threatened and powerless and paralyzed (for example, the incident in July was over being nagged about completing a paper for school). So I agree with what everyone says here.

Surviving

[machineworld]

this is my first night on live journal. i feel a new addiction comming on. but its a good one. i'm a mother of 1 and a stay at home mother. i have the best husband anyone could ask for and my son is more dear to me than anything. i'm 27 years old, although i feel 23 still