A mote in my eye, really?

[_skye_]

Dear Sir Judgmental; I cannot call you a friend anymore because you have insulted me, and my friend, and I have been quite firm with you, too, which you reacted to rather stronger than I expected. I doubt you will call me for lunch again, and I cannot say I'm disappointed after that horrible show of pride. You know very little of my current

Comments

[geminijedi]

*APPLAUSE*

"Religiousness" and "spirituality" are (definitions/technicalities) NOT necessarily synonymous. One can be spiritual without the ritual of religion. One can be religious and NOT spiritual. Those who claim to be religious and yet sit in judgment of others have their notions completely backwards, at least in my understanding/experience.

I, for one, am now insatiably curious to have theological coffee with such a splendid woman as yourself!

[_skye_]

I think I should welcome your curious and empathetic mind! I do love discussing theology - it was my life for SO long, and I will never tire of it. Especially crossed with traditional philosophy! And of course there are issues that one can only be a woman to understand, in christianity...

...let's plan a whole meal for our discussion, shall we? ;)

I try not to get all upset at what some people see as the 'right way' to be christian. To some, the fact that I go to church is more than enough, where to others the fact I don't have a vision of a god I wish to believe in is the deal-breaker, so going to church means nothing. I get hurt when people say "You can't _________" or "I can't _________with you" because of whatever I'm doing 'wrong', true, but like I say - complicated is uncomfortable to some people, and I won't sugar-coat the truth to help them swallow my pill.

[geminijedi]

YES! Entire meals are wonderful, though bland as mine are. I must admit to being fairly new to and very not-read in my Christianity, but I do believe I have a strong spiritual base--as it appears you understand. YAY! *happy dance* Hmmm....Sundays are free for me, or Saturday evenings/night (sleepover??)

[_skye_]

I have Sunday night on my calendar all for hanging with you guys, darling girl - hope it's half as cozy as last week was, and THIS time I won't let Aequ get sidetracked from Appleseed! I'll head over after I close the coffeeshop (about 4), is that ok? I can pack my own bento dinner to bring if you'd rather save some $ and not have to feed my voracious little bird-tummy :D

[cdeacon]

I'm still thinking about our conversation last night, and I really feel privileged that you shared some of your background with me - thank you for that.

I was astonished to hear recently that even at my flaming-liberal church, which you know I love literally more than any other place on Earth, there are a few parishioners who won't come to services if they know a female priest will be celebrating the mass. I'm glad it's helped me move away from the mindset that things like that happen only at other, unenlightened places, but it's still painful.

[_skye_]

It was my pleasure to be able to talk like that together - and I love that we do. Oh yes indeed - that whole dinner was just really perfect, wasn't it? So comfortable and companionable and so cold... wait, THAT wasn't the good part! But seriously, to come from such an enlightening and uplifting conversation like we had last night to THAT this afternoon was... it made it even more intolerable. And SO obvious, how could I have missed his selfishness? His judgmental nature? His condescension? I have GOT to learn to see the difference between "powerful and confident" and "prideful and judgmental"!

I try to be extremely open to different views and people - after all, aren't people inclusive of ME?! - but yes, it sometimes still hurts to have people behave so immaturely. Oh, and also I think as the older generation goes, no one will even remember there WAS a time when women weren't welcome in ministry.

[neonstilettos]

*comfort in your direction* Definitely presumptuous of this fellow to assume he knew the entire depth/breadth/history of your spiritual life based on a single brief discussion and one (often not misunderstood) label. It's sad that so many people are prone to prejudgment to this extent, writing someone off based on a stereotype or random, questionable bit of information as opposed to making some attempt to understand and learn more. Understanding takes genuine effort and empathy, snap judgments take zero effort. It's sad. Also sad is that so few people are capable of viewing spirituality as a concept separate from religion, or even of viewing religion as something other than a series of rituals based on a doctrine performed in a set place of worship.

I sometimes wonder if being not Christian in this country is supposed to be this difficult. I've skirted with touchy conversations on this matter myself in places where it's really not appropriate; been asked point blank if I believed in the bible and Jesus as the messiah (awk-ward). It'

[_skye_]

Thank you, YES.

It is a little bit like what I occasionally run into because I'm smart or capable and don't wish to hide it to salvage some poor fragile boy's ego (remember the poor-grammar guy?) People asking questions like those you mentioned, especially doing so point-blank, means that the person is categorizing us all binarily and that is NOT how ANYONE is, you know?

I was so angry about this guy and his wrong-headed behavior toward me, my friend, and this situation that I had to vent, but of course I am very lucky to have many people who are quite alive in the pursuit of meaning - yourself included - and I am VERY glad to be friends with all them. Good eggs all. :)

[_skye_]

Well, and aren't we ALL judged by other people for something? I mean, we can either note and try to understand a difference we see or we can condemn it, right?

I think when I talk about being discriminated against it's easy for christians to start with the "But I'm _____ MORE THAN YOU!" without listening to what I just said. I'm not saying I win the Worst Game, I'm just saying this happens.

[l33tminion]

Hear, hear!

your icon, HA!

[_skye_]

I thank you, Sam.

I have to come down on a side of something - that's the way we humans work. Woman or man, straight bi or gay, christian agnostic or atheist. But we're NOT really so binary, are we? Spirituality is a tricky and flowing thing, if you ask me, and sometimes religious impulses are buried so deep that I didn't even know they were there and I'm not sure what to make of them - meaningless habit? Nascent belief? Like I instinctively send up a prayer when I panic, though the only god I knew is not one who listens to me. And the soul-satiation I get from hymns and meaningful religious rituals, even those not of my faith - goodness, passover with a friend? Almost cried about 3 times.

Maybe this is just me, and admittedly I am relatively new-born from the church of my childhood so maybe everyone goes through this who leaves that situation. Maybe everyone goes through this regardless? idk.