Enough

[_mak_]

I was raised to think that any problem can be solved and anything can be achieved

Comments

[starshoi]

I want to agree with you completely, not sure I can but I will definitely try :-)

Seriously - but of course. True to the last word. I still have time to compensate and correct myself, do I?

[_mak_]

I observe that you are much farther than I am (and I am crazy jealous).
Let's try together. Harder :)

[starshoi]

I was serious. I am afraid it is too late and I don’t have much time left (any time at all?) to compensate. It caused irreparable damage but as a person described by you I am trying to absorb it and figure out the way. And it goes on and on. Sound and fury.

[amigofriend]

Dearests, don’t worry. It’s all a matter of perception. (‘Cause there’s no other way of dealing with it).

[_mak_]

Это не про то. Рациональные аргументы можно найти в любую сторону. Вопрос о том в какую сторону ищешь.

[tandem_bike]

so you got hit from the left corner.

boxing with mirozdanie.

atheism is a problem ( i am one of those, too).

meditation - is overrated.

life is beatiful sucks.

sorry. i thought of something cheerful to say but it did not hatch.

[_mak_]

No, Molik, I did not get hit. Or, said another way, I got hit many times, nothing special now.

I am just very tired, and I want another way. I do not want to feel guilty and not enough all the time. For things that I could not change, and for things that I could change but not at the time, or not with the other things in the balance.

I am just old and it's time for me to accept who I am and what I can and cannot do - just the way I am, but I am struggling with it.

[tandem_bike]

you set the plank very high, and every time you make it, you set it higher. and higher...

nothing wrong with that... but yes, it must be tiring.

somehow i don't think meditating will change you or help you cope. i wonder if there is a re-set of some sort out there.

i surely need one. for a different reason. :(

love you and miss you. just so you know...

[_mak_]

Yes, that's true (about higher and higher). And I want to change it, I want the reset. I just do not know how to reset and where to go from there.

Meditation helps a little, in the moment. But does not bring sustainable change.

Thank you for support, it really helps.

[nat_sd]

очень как то в точку пост этот. Я тут постою и почитаю умные мысли всех ваших собеседников. И тоже присоединяюсь к поздравлениям по поводу предстоящих событий.

[_mak_]

Спасибо
И пишите, что Вы думаете.
Надо как-то всем колхозом придумать как жить, потому что в одиночку не выходит.

[oxfv]

The way I look at it today is this: at some point in your life you notice a growing gap between life and your mental model of it, the latter including your plans, aspirations, abilities, outcomes. The gap seems unbearable (hence the noticing) and unbreachable (hence the associated pain). The best way to fix this was to have corrected your mental model along with the life twists or, better yet, in anticipation of the life twists. It is entirely possible that general wisdom and/or skillful meditation helps with this anticipation but I, for one, have no way of knowing or confirming that. The second best way is to acknowledge the gap and work on closing it little by little (changing habits and adjusting expectations), or maybe with one giant leap (e.g. becoming a kindergarten teacher in rural Alaska, overnight). The important part is always knowing that the gap was there all the time, even when it didn't look like it, and that it is not going anywhere. It just may get a bit more tolerable, and what more is there to hope for

[_mak_]

Thank you, Valera, it's a helpful image.

I am so far trying to adjust little by little (and, predictably, with little success). I am not ready for drastic changes - my risk tolerance gets high only when there is clear and real payoff in sight. While here I do not even know what kind of payoff I want.

And it's not even about work. Kids, family, responsibility all around, it's just all gets too much. I am just more and more tired and at the same time guilty about things I could have, should have done for everybody. But could not and did not.

Life is great when we are young, the energy is boundless and if something is not done today - there is always tomorrow. And then eventually there is no energy, and more responsibility that fits into 3 lives. And this constant guilt when the energy runs out before all the things that need to be done are done.

[_mak_]

С днем рождения!
Расти большой, умный и, главное, чтобы ничего не болело!

[oxfv]

Thank you dear, your words into god's ears!