Comments | _ftm_: A Question

jimmydean5 in _ftm_

A Question

Feb 01, 2008 00:15

Hi guys. I'm questioning going through with transitioning. During this questioning process, I am reflecting upon some life experiences, and I'm wondering if others can relate. As a kid, I felt 100% male and the fact that my body said otherwise was a source of confusion, shame, and generally being a pissed off and very macho kid. When puberty ( Read more... )

Comments 9

thewerekitty February 1 2008, 11:46:53 UTC

When I was younger... I was severely depressed. Not fitting in with the other girls... I just kept to myself. They were excited about their periods when they got them... I loathed them.

I looked at my peers to see how I should dress... but my parents were divorced and my mom didn't have money to buy me those clothes. I mostly wore hand-me-downs from my brothers or cousins... which I was quite comfortable in. And thrift store clothes.

Worst day ever... when my mom and grandma thought it would be cute to give me a perm in junior high. Sure they looked good on other girls... on me... it was horrible.

I never really developed a solid girl self. My self was very odd. I always felt out of place.

ftmichael February 1 2008, 13:39:14 UTC

Sounds like your 'girl self' is forced and unnatural, and sooner or later that is going to get very old and bite you in the arse.

Therapy sounds like a very good idea for you. See http://www.t-vox.org/index.php?title=Therapists for ones with a clue in your area. Do not go to a therapist who you don't know is conscious and sympathetic regarding Trans issues; most therapists are not, and many don't want to be.

Also, you'll get a whole lot more response over in ftm.

eriktrips February 1 2008, 16:06:10 UTC

when I was very little I thought I was a boy. my fantasy was that there was something wrong with my eyes and when I got older and needed glasses I would be able to see what I thought everyone else already saw: my male body. by the time I reached that age, I knew this was a fantasy insofar as physical reality went ( ... )

inkslaive February 1 2008, 21:14:10 UTC

For myself, I knew I was a boy when younger...did all of the sports things with neighbor boys, kissed my first girl at age 8, and was just a 'regular' rough-n-tumble boy. Would even get kicked out of female restrooms for 'being a boy ( ... )

harris06 February 1 2008, 23:22:46 UTC

I think that these processes of aging and gender are really individual and complicated. Like you I had a pretty consistent male identity/self-perception as a child. I didn't experience the move into solid girl-hood like you seem to have, though as I aged and looked at the world more pragmatically I did come to know that I was female and before I knew that there were ways to fix this, was somewhat resigned. I remained quite uncomfortable though and was unable to envision any sort of future or adulthood for myself which, after learning that transition was possible, led me to transition ( ... )