I randomly burst into tears at Erica's last night. We were watching Roseanne and I just pictured somebody else examining my life from afar. I know it sounds bizarre and I know you're probably wondering how that could possibly trigger any emotion. I've been crying so often lately and I always have a damn good reason. Last night was different. I ( Read more... )

Erica, Sean, Eric & I decided to go up to Bartlett lake today & have a picnic. Things didn't exactly go as planned, lol, & somehow we ended up in Sunflower, Arizona. It was really fun. We kept looking for random places to park but since i'm such a pussy, I kept talking everyone into leaving. Okay, there was a silver trailer in the middle of the ( Read more... )

I went to Erica's house yesterday after school. I was prepared to be myself, act normal...act loving. We had an intense conversation the night before about feelings and mind games and all that jazz. I'm sick of getting the lower end of the deal in this relationship simply because I don't play games. It's not fair...i've never been the one to mess ( Read more... )

( A night on the town. )

Erica and I got into the biggest fight yesterday over the stupidest thing. I guess I just have a problem with supressing my anger and letting it all come out at once. It confuses people because they just don't understand why I would freak out over something that pitiful...but it's just so much more. Anyway, she left; threatened to never come back. ( Read more... )

This weekend wasn't bad, Erica and I got along really well... up until now, I guess. I need some time to figure out what the hell I want out of this. I also need to work up the courage to tell my Mom I need & want therapy. The last time I had a therapist, I had just sort of gotton over a long relationship. My Mom and I were fighting every single ( Read more... )

( +10 )

Do any of you have one song that makes you literally cry on command? No matter how happy you are feeling? It's so odd, this song by Kenny Chesney called "Me and you" does that to me. It's Erica and I's song but it causes me to burst into tears... even before the second verse. I can never tell if i'm crying tears of joy or if i'm sobbing from some ( Read more... )

I have officially concluded that I strongly dislike my brother as a person. I come home, maybe a little late... it's as if he is tapping his foot and looking at his watch. He is twelve years old and I literally feel like I have a third parent. When my Mom snaps at me, he high fives her. When my Dad tells me to go do something, he says "Yeah" in a ( Read more... )

Sometimes I feel mentally ill. I can't function as a human being without the attention & affection from the one I love. I feel like I need to check myself into a mental institution. I am more needy now than ever. I have the emotional maturity of a 12 year old and I don't know how it happened. I have spent all of my fucking time reading books, ( Read more... )