A midst all of this change I have found myself subject to many deeply depressing dreams. Ones in which my loved ones are dying, those closest to me, leaving me forever. Perhaps this is an exaggeration to what is to come this next term and the one there after where I will be left here in the ol' Euge without my bestest friends. Those who remain ( Read more... )

i used to have glowy stars on my ceiling when i was little. you can still see them, a few of them, faintly, faithfully glowing underneath the few coats of paint my mom has applied since i lived at home. i would spell out "I love Guy" in them, at that time i loved him. i would also make constellations of horses and rats...i loved those things at ( Read more... )

sometimes i get this itch. it comes from a rash of rainy days spent lazing on the couch reading and watching tv. one can only spend so much time "relaxing" before they soon need a vacation. a vacation from relaxation. thats what i need. i want badly to get myself back into shape. not to look better, for once vanity is not a motive. but to feel ( Read more... )

usually the pitter patter of the rain on my skylight is a comforting sound. something that lulls me back into a soft sleep until that last minute where im already late and can rest no longer. i dont know what about it today has me so upset. i woke to my alarm 15 minutes ago, it began to pour. the sound aroused my senses so abruptly i was forced out ( Read more... )

i dont want to go back to the ol' eug. i really dont miss it this time. usually towards the end of a break im itching to get back into the swing of things, back to my own space, back to my home. not this time. i dont miss my house, i dont miss the rain, i dont miss the damp cold that touches everything. i dont miss rennies, i dont miss class, i ( Read more... )

others only read of the love, the love that i love

over the past 13 days i have seen ( Read more... )

Did I ask too much?
More than a lot.
You gave me nothing,
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

and when i see you
i really see you upside down
but my brain knows better
it picks you up and turns you around
turns you around
if you feel discouraged,theres a lack of color here
please dont worry lover, its really bursting at the seams

i dont have enough time or stamina for this. NO allison, NO! its only week four, you must keep going!

god help