opalescent
in
__vam
(no subject)
130lbs of failure.
One: 'It's not alright..'
Two: 'Nobody's listening'
Three: 'Difference'
Four: 'Sticks'
There was something about the way he said it. The look that was in his eyes. The rest of the class consited of me stealing sideward glances at him. He seemed transfixed in the story the teacher was reading. Truly interested. His eyes looked far away, sunken back. I couldn't really describe it. Lets just say he's missing something.
"So.. Ville." He said, turning to look at me when the teacher gave us the last 10 minutes of class to mingle.
I looked at him as he searched for something to say.
"How old are you?" He asked.
"i'll be eighteen in a month."
He nodded.
"What about you?"
"Im sixteen."
"Sixteen? And in grade 12?"
"Yeah, I was skipped ahead a year. supposed to be in eleven."
I nodded, tilting my head slightly.
There was a few more moments of silence. I could faintly hear his breathing beyond the giggling of the girls sitting infront of us.
"So I was-" Bam started to say before a girl cut him off.
"Vil.." She said, in a voice filled with giggles.
"Vill-uh" I corrected. I hated being called 'Vil'. Mainly because it was a nickname my father and uncle had given me awhile back.
"Whatever" she sighed, looking at her friend. "You.. wanna do something.. sometime."
There was a slight glimpse of angry eyes staring into me from the front of the class. boyfriend?
"No, not really?" I said, without any hesitation.
She stuck her head back, raising her eyebrows.
"Why not?" she asked.
"Your not my type." I said, simply.
"What about me isn't your type."
A smirk came across my lips. "Your genitals."
She looked taken back, and got up quickly, leaving the room when the bell rang.
Bam let out a laugh looking at me. "Nice way of coming out."
I shrugged and got up from my seat, walking out into the hallway.
"So.. what class is next?" He asked fumbling with his bookbag behind me.
I shrugged and walked on.. I didnt care what class I had next, I wasn't going.
"I have free. No class for the rest of the day. So.. im heading home. Hey! Wanna come?" He said, almost in one breath.
I stopped, turned and looked at him. He seemed out of breath, staring up at me.
I shrugged.
"Cool. Lets go." He said smiling widely, grabbing my hand and pulling me through the hallways.
I stopped and pulled my hand away from him. He looked at his hand and turned towards me.
"Whats wrong?" He asked stepping foreward a bit. His eyes tried looking into mine, but i had a nasty habit of avoiding peoples eyes. direct gazes made me uncomfortable. i usually started at someones lips, or forehead.
"Nothing. I-I.. nothing." I said fumbling over my explanation. Truth is, i dont know why i pulled away. I dont know why i always pull away. from everything.
He looked at me strangly for a second.. and I felt a pang of guilt go through me. I pushed it aside and walked closer to him, and he continued walking beside me.
"My moms been wanting me to meet new friends. She thinks I hang with Dunn and Dico too much."
I nodded, still walking, looking at the ground.
"You'll meet them today, they live with me. "
I nodded again.
"Whats wrong?" He said, stopping, grabbing my arm.
I shrugged. "Nothing."
"Well, it doesn't seem like nothing."
"Well, it's nothing."
He looked at me, turned around and started walking.
I followed him, and listened as he started rambling about Dunn and Dico. They sounded like some fun friends to hang with. Bam then started talking about his brother, their band (which i've actually heard of.. and i was kinda excited to meet the drummer.) and his parents.
"I can't wait for you to meet everyone." He said, sounding excited. We had been walking down the road, towards my house for about 5 minutes now. My place was about 5 houses down. I became nervous. What if he was on the lawn? Im not sure why he would be on the lawn.. but.. what if he was.
We stopped at the the 6th house, I had calmy walked past mine. Avoiding looking in the windows or pucking myself into a crack in the sidewalk.
"this is my place."
"Nice."
His house wasn't as big as mine, but it was a nice size. It was a pale yellow color, and had a large yard.
"Its not as nice as the Green one next door, but it's home." He smiled, looking up at it.
I had cringed at his remark about my house. My dad liked to go all out when buying things.
"Thats good." I said. He stepped towards it, and I hesitated. He sighed, and grabbed my hand pulling me foreward.
This time I didn't pull away.
One: 'It's not alright..'
Two: 'Nobody's listening'
Three: 'Difference'
Four: 'Sticks'
There was something about the way he said it. The look that was in his eyes. The rest of the class consited of me stealing sideward glances at him. He seemed transfixed in the story the teacher was reading. Truly interested. His eyes looked far away, sunken back. I couldn't really describe it. Lets just say he's missing something.
"So.. Ville." He said, turning to look at me when the teacher gave us the last 10 minutes of class to mingle.
I looked at him as he searched for something to say.
"How old are you?" He asked.
"i'll be eighteen in a month."
He nodded.
"What about you?"
"Im sixteen."
"Sixteen? And in grade 12?"
"Yeah, I was skipped ahead a year. supposed to be in eleven."
I nodded, tilting my head slightly.
There was a few more moments of silence. I could faintly hear his breathing beyond the giggling of the girls sitting infront of us.
"So I was-" Bam started to say before a girl cut him off.
"Vil.." She said, in a voice filled with giggles.
"Vill-uh" I corrected. I hated being called 'Vil'. Mainly because it was a nickname my father and uncle had given me awhile back.
"Whatever" she sighed, looking at her friend. "You.. wanna do something.. sometime."
There was a slight glimpse of angry eyes staring into me from the front of the class. boyfriend?
"No, not really?" I said, without any hesitation.
She stuck her head back, raising her eyebrows.
"Why not?" she asked.
"Your not my type." I said, simply.
"What about me isn't your type."
A smirk came across my lips. "Your genitals."
She looked taken back, and got up quickly, leaving the room when the bell rang.
Bam let out a laugh looking at me. "Nice way of coming out."
I shrugged and got up from my seat, walking out into the hallway.
"So.. what class is next?" He asked fumbling with his bookbag behind me.
I shrugged and walked on.. I didnt care what class I had next, I wasn't going.
"I have free. No class for the rest of the day. So.. im heading home. Hey! Wanna come?" He said, almost in one breath.
I stopped, turned and looked at him. He seemed out of breath, staring up at me.
I shrugged.
"Cool. Lets go." He said smiling widely, grabbing my hand and pulling me through the hallways.
I stopped and pulled my hand away from him. He looked at his hand and turned towards me.
"Whats wrong?" He asked stepping foreward a bit. His eyes tried looking into mine, but i had a nasty habit of avoiding peoples eyes. direct gazes made me uncomfortable. i usually started at someones lips, or forehead.
"Nothing. I-I.. nothing." I said fumbling over my explanation. Truth is, i dont know why i pulled away. I dont know why i always pull away. from everything.
He looked at me strangly for a second.. and I felt a pang of guilt go through me. I pushed it aside and walked closer to him, and he continued walking beside me.
"My moms been wanting me to meet new friends. She thinks I hang with Dunn and Dico too much."
I nodded, still walking, looking at the ground.
"You'll meet them today, they live with me. "
I nodded again.
"Whats wrong?" He said, stopping, grabbing my arm.
I shrugged. "Nothing."
"Well, it doesn't seem like nothing."
"Well, it's nothing."
He looked at me, turned around and started walking.
I followed him, and listened as he started rambling about Dunn and Dico. They sounded like some fun friends to hang with. Bam then started talking about his brother, their band (which i've actually heard of.. and i was kinda excited to meet the drummer.) and his parents.
"I can't wait for you to meet everyone." He said, sounding excited. We had been walking down the road, towards my house for about 5 minutes now. My place was about 5 houses down. I became nervous. What if he was on the lawn? Im not sure why he would be on the lawn.. but.. what if he was.
We stopped at the the 6th house, I had calmy walked past mine. Avoiding looking in the windows or pucking myself into a crack in the sidewalk.
"this is my place."
"Nice."
His house wasn't as big as mine, but it was a nice size. It was a pale yellow color, and had a large yard.
"Its not as nice as the Green one next door, but it's home." He smiled, looking up at it.
I had cringed at his remark about my house. My dad liked to go all out when buying things.
"Thats good." I said. He stepped towards it, and I hesitated. He sighed, and grabbed my hand pulling me foreward.
This time I didn't pull away.