(no subject)
Because i'm lazy.. im just gonna post the rest. it's a lot,but i think its interesting enough. anyways. i didn't wanna give you guys not so evil cliff hangers n shit. whatever. just read it. ;)
Disclaimer: DK DO NH! And this story belongs to me. and only me. so there. :P
What a wicked thing to say
You never felt this way
Bam couldn’t focus on the movie. He wanted to, it was his second favorite movie in the world. But he couldn’t, even when the guys were being quiet. Something was missing that made the quiet even more unnatural. He couldn’t quite place his finger on it - there was something he normally did when everything went quiet… then he remembered. He would always watch Ville, thinking up some new way to annoy or surprise him. He’d spent the past 3 weeks playing at least 3 tricks on his friend a day; without that it was empty. Ville had gone to town with Ape for god knows what reason, and Ryan had gone with them, which was also odd. Ville and Ryan had been pretty chummy lately, Bam reflected, wondering why that bothered him a little. Ville had actually been acting annoyed with him lately. He’d even slept on the couch the night before. Which was weird. And ever since his last break up he’d started acting his age, Bam thought. Even older. He kept fussing about his goddamn hair and reading boring books and… Bam wanted his old friend back. The slightly crazy, drunken one. Actually, Bam just wanted things to go back to the way they used to be. He was getting tired of playing tricks - he was actually running out of ideas. He didn’t really know why he had to keep playing tricks on Ville - he’d never done it before. But it … seemed the only thing to do now. He felt like he was back in third grade, hitting girls because he thought they enjoyed it, because it was the only way he knew of to get their attention.
“Ville… what are we doing here?” asked April. Ville lead her and Ryan through the white doors, which had the words Snake Emporium over them in large chrome letters.
“I’ve come to see a friend about a snake,” he said. “Or a hundred.” A small grin showed itself at the corners of his mouth, and Ryan suddenly caught on.
“Oh, Ville, you are so harsh.” The grin spread across Ville’s whole face and onto Ryan’s. “I like it,” Ryan said.
“What are you two boys planning?” April eyed them up dubiously.
“You’ll see. Hey, you wanna come pick us up in about… 20 minutes?” April nodded.
“Ville Valo?” A lady approached Ville and Ryan.
“That’s me.”
“Okay, follow me.”
Bam threw his plate at the wall. He couldn’t even eat without Ville and have it feel right. The plate shattered and the pieces fell to the floor. He wondered when his friends would get back - he was bored, and Raab and DiCo were pissing him off. He didn’t know what had happened to Rake, and Jess was missing without an explanation too. He went upstairs and flung himself on his bed, flicking on the stereo. Ville’s voice blared through the speakers, and he groaned. He looked up and something caught his eye. Ville’s prize guitar glittered in the corner; he bet that Ville’d spent half an hour that morning polishing the damn thing, and he hadn’t even said hello to him. Bam fumed. He was more interesting than a guitar, wasn’t he? Who’d rather polish a guitar than talk to him? The guitar caught a ray of light through the window and shone, just to rub it all in his face, he was sure. Bam stood up and grabbed it. What was so good about it? It was a guitar. Before realizing what he’d done, he’d grabbed a pair of scissors from his desk and cut all the strings from it, relishing the despairing TWANG each one gave as it snapped. Scratches appeared all down the neck somehow, and chunks disappeared from the body, before Bam could stop himself. He took a deep breath and set the guitar down in the corner again. It didn’t shine anymore, and seemed to have recognized its inferiority. Bam nodded resolutely and went back downstairs, ignoring his churning stomach.
What a wicked thing you do
To make me dream of you
Ville and Ryan came back with April, chuckling to themselves. Ville was proud to bursting of his brilliant idea, and Ryan was just laughing at the thought of it.
“This afternoon, right?” Ryan asked.
“Yeah. I’ll tell you when.”
“Brilliant. Oh, um… Jess just sent me an sms - he said he’d just got back and Bam had just spent half an hour destroying your guitar. In case you wanted to know.” Ville rolled his eyes.
“Sokay. It’s not my guitar. I switched mine with that one he had on his wall in his office…” Ryan stared at him, and then burst into laughter.
“Oh, he’s going to be so pissed.” Ville stepped out of the car, cradling the very important white Styrofoam box, and then looked back at Ryan, smiling a little.
“Yep. And he deserves every second of it.”
Bam waited for Ville’s screams when he heard him go upstairs, but they never came. Instead he heard something that vaguely resembled… guitar playing. He raced up the stairs to find Ville sitting on the bed, smiling serenely and playing his guitar. His perfect, beautiful guitar. Ville looked up, trying not to laugh at Bam’s face. Bam’s eyes traveled to the corner of the room, and he suddenly recognized his own guitar, hacked and mangled and looking very lonely indeed.
“Bam… why’d you destroy your Grandpa’s guitar?” Bam looked between the innocent Ville and the destroyed guitar, lost for words. Ville chuckled. “It’s okay. I know this guy; he’s brilliant at fixing guitars. He’s had to fix mine several times, because one of my friends always tries to destroy it.”
“Okay, okay, you win.” Bam came and sat next to his friend. “Truce?” Ville raised an eyebrow.
“Did Bam Margera just offer me a truce? I can’t believe my ears. I must be hearing things.”
“I meant it! I’m sorry for being horrible.” Bam looked down and shuffled his shoes a little. Ville smiled and put his guitar down, giving his friend a quick hug.
“Don’t lie, you enjoyed every second of it. Hold on, I’ve gotta go ask Ryan something.” Ville hopped down the stairs and Bam just sat watching the doorway, waiting for him to come back - mainly because he couldn’t think of anything better to do.
“Hey, Bammie, I got a surprise for you,” Ville bounced back in the room, oddly excited about something. Bam smiled.
“What is it?”
“Hold on, you have to be blindfolded, okay?” Bam frowned a little, and Ville smiled at the cute wrinkles that crossed his face.
“Um… okay.” Ville tied a big piece of black cloth around Bam’s eyes.
“Okay, stay there. I’ll be right back.” Ville bustled out of the room to make sure Ryan was ready in the bathroom, and then came back.
“Okay. Ready?” Bam nodded, and Ville lead him out of the house, twirled him around to make him dizzy, and then walked him around the house in circles, bringing him in the side door that no-one ever used. Up the stairs, around the top floor, and then finally into the bathroom. Bam was completely lost, and Ville was out of breath, but he pushed his helpless friend through the door. Without saying anything, Ville took Bam’s shirt off over his head and Ryan stripped his pants off, and they both clapped him in handcuffs, one set on each hand, attached his hands to the handles on the sides of the bathtub.
“What are you doing?” Bam asked, moving his head around, trying to see.
“Ready?” Ville asked Ryan. Ryan grinned and nodded. They grabbed Bam’s body and sat him in the bathtub. Bam thrashed his legs around a little.
“What the…” Bam stopped moving. “Oh my god.” Ville pulled off his blindfold before he fell to the floor laughing. “Oh. My. God.” Bam was up to his waist in snakes. They were writhing all over him: one was climbing up his chest, another had wrapped itself around his arm. He stared at the bathtub full of snakes for a second, and then screamed. Ville couldn’t breathe he was laughing so hard. “VILLE GET ME OUT! OH MY GOD! AGHHH NOT FUNNY! VILEEEE!!!” He thrashed his legs and tried to stand up but he couldn’t - Ryan had tied his feet together. “GUYS GET ME OUT!” He couldn’t breathe any more. “Ville. Please. Get me out.” Ville sat up.
“Um… no.”
“Ville. Please. Let me out.” Ville simply shook his head.
“No.”
“VILLE! GET ME OUT OF HERE!” Bam shouted. April barged in the door.
“What on earth is… Oh my.” She stopped short, and looked at Ville, still on the floor, tears of laughter on his cheeks.
“MOM! GET ME OUT!” April chuckled.
“I think not.” She grinned at Ville. “Good one, Ville,” she said, and left them to it. Ville stood up and leant over the bathtub. There were tears rolling down Bam’s cheeks; he was still thrashing madly, trying to get out.
“Now, Brandon, have we learnt a lesson?” Bam nodded ferverently.
“Yes, god, I’m sorry, whatever, Ville, just get me the FUCK out of here.”
“And no more pranks?”
“No. No more. I’m sorry.” Ville sat back down.
“I don’t believe you,” he said, smiling to himself. He didn’t like seeing Bam this distressed, honestly he didn’t, but he definitely deserved it.
“Valo you fuckhead get me out of this bathtub right now.” Ryan was still watching them, laughing his head off.
“Ville… maybe you should let him out…” Ville sighed.
“Oh, I suppose you’re right.” He undid the handcuffs and lifted Bam out of the tub, shaking all the snakes off of him. Ryan undid the bindings around his feet and Bam jumped out of Ville’s arms.
“You two suck,” he said, wiping his eyes and running to his room. Ville watched him go and sighed.
“D’ya think that was too harsh, Dunn?”
“Nah. He needed that. He’s been being a little bitch.” Ville sighed again, and they started putting all the snakes back in the box, Ville hoping the whole time that he hadn’t gone one step too far.
No I don't wanna fall in love
this world is always gonna break your heart
No I don't wanna fall in love
this world is always gonna break your heart
..with you
Bam was miserable, cooped up in his room, listening to all the CD’s Ville had ever made for him. This had never happened in 3rd grade. In 3rd grade the girls just giggled and ran away, waiting for him to catch him. They never got angry and played nasty tricks back on him. When had the world changed? Bam sighed and rubbed his head. Obviously he was out of practice with the flirting thing. Ah, it was all useless. He was stuck in the 3rd grade and he just had to accept the fact that he wasn’t ever going to escape.
When he’d first fallen for Ville he tried to stop it. But he couldn’t. He knew it was wrong and blah blah blah, but once he’d started he couldn’t stop. He’d dealt with it for a while, but now it was all too much. And he’d done everything he could and still Ville was as oblivious as the sun is of the moon. Every single prank that got played simply produced rage and then it got brushed off and Ville went back to his goddamn books and his goddamn newfangled philosophy about how he would never love again. Bam wanted to scream. He wanted Ville to love HIM. No matter how many cakes he baked, how many hugs he gave, how many times he listened to Ville crying about his latest heartbreak and ignoring his own, it was all going nowhere.
The past 3 weeks, he’d just been exploding. He wanted so much to be able to call Ville his own, and he could hardly contain it anymore. He’d never had a broken heart before, and if this was half the pain that Ville dealt with on a regular basis, he wasn’t sure he wanted to continue. Because he was sure that his heart was breaking. Every time Ville shrugged and walked away, every minute he spent apart doing something else made Bam’s heart crumble that little bit more. And he’d been in here 4 days, and Ville hadn’t even come to apologize. He was beginning to wonder if he’d screwed everything up, even their apparently indestructible friendship.
He was a mess, and he knew it. He was having fun, that much was true, and yet he knew he couldn’t do this his whole life. He wanted something more. A real job, a nice house, a sensible car; two kids and a dog playing in the front yard and … Ville Valo to call his own.
The world was on fire, no-one could save me but you
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do
A knock on his door brought him out of his thoughts.
“What?” Depressed or not, he was still pissed off at them for the snake thing.
“Can I come in? Please?”
“Whatever.” Ville poked his head around the door to check that Bam was in a sane state of mind and wouldn’t rip his head off. The situation appearing secure, Ville walked in and sat next to him on the bed, taking his hand.
“Look, I’m sorry… The snake thing was really harsh. And I’m sorry. Only please come out of here. I miss you… we all miss you.” Bam frowned and took his hand back - physical contact was not needed for this to suck as much as possible. “Oh, come on Bam, you deserved it, and you know it.” Ville sighed, exasperatedly. “Frankly, my dear friend, you’ve been an ass lately. And I’d like to know when it’s going to stop. Because I want my Bam back.”
“I… oh, fine. I’m sorry about… all the pranks and stuff.” He wanted to be miserable a little more; he quite liked self-pity, it was more fun than facing Ville day in and day out and knowing he had no chance.
“I know. Now come on. Vito has had a new car for a month and you haven’t even flattened the tires yet.” Ville smiled and watched Bam’s eyes widen.
“He’s had a new car for how long?”
“A month. He was celebrating downstairs just now.” Bam snatched up his coat.
“Come on Ville, we are going to fix that.” He may be an emotional mess, and his heart may be broken in two, and he may be stuck in a life he didn’t want anymore, but there was always, always time to wreck Vito’s cars. And then later, he thought, he might bake a cake.
3 days later and Bam had had enough of trying to be just friends. Ville spent most of the morning in bed, after what Bam thought must be an acute attack of post-breakup-depression had kept him awake all night, writhing around in bed. As a result, Bam had also only slept for a grand total of about 2 minutes. It was time for another prank, he thought, watching Ville’s sweaty face contort with his dreams. It was time to throw caution to the wind, and do what he had to do. Otherwise, the love that he had pent up inside him would drive him crazy and he might just spontaneously combust.
“Let the games begin,” he whispered, and quietly padded out of the room to get everything ready. When Ville finally got out of bed that day, he walked right into Bam’s first trap.
“OW. OW OWOWOWOWOWOW!” He hopped backwards, clutching his foot and dusting the thumbtack off of it. “BAM!” He wanted to fall back on his bed and cry. He couldn’t believe that Bam had only managed to contain himself for 3 days. And today of all days, he did not need this. Picking his way through the thumbtacks, he finally got out of the room, and walked quickly through the hallway, aiming for the kitchen. Before he could get there, however, he stepped onto a piece of carpet that had somehow acquired rollers and fell flat on his ass. Not even bothering to grant Bam the pleasure of hearing him scream, he picked himself up and managed to get down the stairs, taking it slowly, one step at a time, making sure that Bam hadn’t cut loose any of the boards so that he’d go falling through. The house was completely empty - which wasn’t unusual on a nice summers afternoon. He ate breakfast - as he had suspected, there was salt in the sugar bowl and someone had put a piece of garlic in the butter so he stuck to very strong coffee and April’s stash of bagels. He was beginning - once again - to wonder why he put up with Bam. In anyone else this kind of behavior would drive him crazy. But he figured that Bam was just dealing with his frustration at not being able to grow up right now, and reasoned that that must be why he was so forgiving with him. He went upstairs, careful to open the door so that the plastic container of syrup didn’t fall on him, turned the heat off so that he wouldn’t’ have to turn on the fan, which was covered in feathers, and crawled back in bed. Just ignore him, that was the best way about this. He’d grow out of it.
Bam watched Ville crawl back into bed on the CCTV that he’d had installed a while back and basically forgotten about until that morning.
“Damn,” he said. “He is soo goddamn boring.” Which wasn’t true, but still, he thought, he’d expected him at least to turn on the TV or something. What was there to do in bed? At noon?! In the summer! Ahh… when Ville was down, he was really down. He smiled and picked up the phone.
Ville sighed and settled back into the pillows, picking up a piece of paper to doodle on. He’d wait till Bam got home to do anything - there was no point in getting up if Bam wasn’t there, because there was nothing to do. He smiled, remembering the past 3 days. It hadn’t quite been normal - there was definitely something wrong with Bam - but it had been so much better. He often thought about how they were the most unlikely people to be so close, but he was glad of it. He would definitely miss Bam if he wasn’t around - he looked at the paper and laughed. Bam’s face had appeared on it without him even thinking. The telephone rang and Ville turned to answer it.
“Hello?”
“Hey. It’s me.”
“Oh. Hi Lily. What’s he done this time?”
“Who? Burton? Nothing. Just… have you seen the news?”
“Um… no. The news is way too depressing to watch on a regular basis.”
“Ville. Go turn on CNN. Right now.” Ville picked up the remote and switched the TV on. Bam’s face filled the screen; he was talking to a reporter about something… Ville frowned.
“Lily, it’s just Bam being…” He stopped speaking and stared at the screen.
“Ville? Ville?” Ville watched the whole broadcast and then switched the TV off. “VILLE!” He picked up the phone again, which he’d dropped.
“Lily…”
“You okay?”
“G… Get me… Get me a flight out of here. Now.”
“I can’t.”
“What do you mean you can’t?!”
“All the airlines are on strike today.” Ville choked.
“Linde I need to get out.” He heard Linde sigh.
“I can’t do anything about it Ville. Deal with it for a day, and then I’ll see what I can do, okay?” Ville heard something vaguely like Burton chuckling in the background, but chose to ignore it.
“Thanks. Really.” Sarcasm dripped from his voice, and he hung up the phone, throwing it at the wall.
No and I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you
I'll never dream that I lose somebody like you, no
Bam had watched Ville turn on the TV and knew Lily was doing his job properly. He snuck quietly into the kitchen - the first place he knew Ville would come in search of a drink, and prepared himself. Ville came thundering down the stairs, cursing up a storm when he lost his balance on the rolling carpet again, and burst into the kitchen.
“Goddamit, who the fuck does the little shit think he is…” He muttered, slamming the cupboard doors. “WHERE’S THE GODAMN ALCOHOL IN THIS HOUSE!?”
“Right here,” Bam said quietly, holding up a bottle of wine. Ville looked over, and Bam seriously thought he was going to have a glass thrown at his head.
“You presumptuous little… I’M making moves on you?! I’M flirting with you?! WHAT?! OH Bam this goes sooo far beyond a simple prank.” Ville narrowed his eyes and Bam sat staring at his hands. “I can handle stepping on pins, and having salty cornflakes and getting wet and all that shit. But public humiliation?! You lied about me to the PRESS?! Do you KNOW what that’s going to do to my career?! My BAND?! MY LIFE?! Do you even THINK, Bam? Is there a BRAIN in there?!” Ville was red in the face and his throat hurt from yelling. “I don’t know why I put up with it. I really really don’t. And I’m not going to anymore. I’m leaving, just as soon as those stupid planes get off strike.” Bam smiled at him a little.
“There isn’t a plane strike, you know.” Ville sighed.
“I knew it. You got Lily and Burton into this too?” Bam shrugged.
“Wasn’t hard. They thought it was a great idea.”
“To wreck our band?!” Bam shook his head and took Ville’s hands firmly.
“That wasn’t a real news-cast. The reporter was a friend of mine. It was just a tape.” Ville stared at him.
“That is so not funny at all Bam.”
“I know.”
“So why’d you do it?”
“You didn’t watch the end of the tape, did you?” Ville shook his head. Bam sighed.
“I dunno why, but whatever. Actually I just wanted to tell you something.”
“Can’t you just TALK, like NORMAL people?!”
“I’m not normal.”
“Obviously.” Ville snorted. “So what is it that you’re dying to tell me so much? Before I leave. Because I am leaving. Now. You have 5 seconds. Go.”
“I…” Now that it was time, Bam found the words hard to say.
“4. 3. 2. On…”
“I’m in love with you.” The words fell out of his mouth, and he and Ville both stared at each other. Ville took a deep breath. Bam sighed; he may be losing his best friend more with every second passing, but at least it was in the open now. Ville didn’t believe what he’d just heard. He shook his head.
“Okay. This trick has gone one step too far, Bam. What the fuck are you…” Bam leant over and grabbed Ville’s face, kissing him quickly and firmly on the lips. Ville pushed him away. “What the fuck is wrong with you? I’m leaving Bam. When you grow up, maybe we can talk again.”
“Ville. I’m not kidding. You know all your talk about “the one” and all that shit? You’re right, Ville. There is only one person for me. Which is you.” Ville stopped with his hand on the doorknob. Bam had tears in his eyes, and his hand clutched at Ville’s arm. “I’m an asshole, Ville, and I’m a mess. I need your help. I’m sorry for… everything. Anything I’ve ever did. I don’t want to do it anymore. I want to start over. I love you.” Ville turned his head slowly, his heart beating hard in his chest. A strange urge to rush over and kiss his best friend to stop his pained ramblings almost overpowered him, but he gained control of himself, and took a deep breath.
“Bam… I… I’m done with love. It’s not meant for me. I… I’m sorry… I wish…”
Now I wanna fall in love
This world is always gonna break your heart
He stopped. What did he wish? That his last relationship had never happened and his heart hadn’t been broken one too many times, so he could justify the feelings rushing through him? Or that he could throw caution to the wind. Or that they hadn’t been friends for 3 years and were random acquaintances in a bar?
“Tell me you don’t feel anything for me?” Bam was squeezing his hand now - he’d seen Ville stop dead in his tracks, and hope started making him bold. His blue eyes sparkled, and Ville realized that it wasn’t the first time he’d almost fallen into them.
“I… Bam I can’t do this!” He pulled away and went to the other side of the room. Bam grinned inwardly at the knowledge that he’d managed to get Ville flustered - his tight jeans hid nothing. He striped off his shirt, knowing full well that he was playing mean. Ville looked over again and saw Bam’s bare chest, his blue eyes, his brown hair falling into his face - and gave in.
Now I wanna fall in lust
This world is always gonna break your heart
..with you
He was back on the other side of the room in half a second, pressing Bam against the wall, straddling his lap, and finally kissing his soft lips. They kissed till they were both breathless and Ville had been forced to take his shirt off, too.
“Is that… a… yes?” Bam asked, in between pecks at Ville’s lips.
“Hmm. No… more pranks? You… promise?” Bam frowned at him.
“C’mon, be realistic, Ville.”
“Okay. Fewer pranks?” Bam thought about it and nodded.
“I think I can do that.”
Ville still wasn’t completely satisfied; he found Bam’s lips again, wondering what he’d been doing with this “friends” shit for three years. Suddenly he was curious.
“Bam… how long have you…”
“2 years.” Ville groaned. That was a hell of a long time.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You were… busy.” Ville kissed him again, unable to get over the feeling of completeness as he did.
“I think I loved you the whole time,” he said without thinking, realizing it was true as he said it.
“I thought you were ‘done with love,’” Bam teased, his hands running over Ville’s back. Ville sat on Bam’s knees, thinking a little.
“You know what I think now?”
“No, darling, what do you think?”
Ville cocked his head, looking at Bam thoughtfully. He was surprisingly comfortable with this situation. He liked this situation. He nodded to himself, and bent forward to sing into Bam’s ear. “Nobody loves no-one.” Pulling the love of his life down into his arms, Bam grinned, knowing he had finally played the game right - and this time he'd won.
okay. so crappy ending there. but it'll do. epilogue to come.
Disclaimer: DK DO NH! And this story belongs to me. and only me. so there. :P
What a wicked thing to say
You never felt this way
Bam couldn’t focus on the movie. He wanted to, it was his second favorite movie in the world. But he couldn’t, even when the guys were being quiet. Something was missing that made the quiet even more unnatural. He couldn’t quite place his finger on it - there was something he normally did when everything went quiet… then he remembered. He would always watch Ville, thinking up some new way to annoy or surprise him. He’d spent the past 3 weeks playing at least 3 tricks on his friend a day; without that it was empty. Ville had gone to town with Ape for god knows what reason, and Ryan had gone with them, which was also odd. Ville and Ryan had been pretty chummy lately, Bam reflected, wondering why that bothered him a little. Ville had actually been acting annoyed with him lately. He’d even slept on the couch the night before. Which was weird. And ever since his last break up he’d started acting his age, Bam thought. Even older. He kept fussing about his goddamn hair and reading boring books and… Bam wanted his old friend back. The slightly crazy, drunken one. Actually, Bam just wanted things to go back to the way they used to be. He was getting tired of playing tricks - he was actually running out of ideas. He didn’t really know why he had to keep playing tricks on Ville - he’d never done it before. But it … seemed the only thing to do now. He felt like he was back in third grade, hitting girls because he thought they enjoyed it, because it was the only way he knew of to get their attention.
“Ville… what are we doing here?” asked April. Ville lead her and Ryan through the white doors, which had the words Snake Emporium over them in large chrome letters.
“I’ve come to see a friend about a snake,” he said. “Or a hundred.” A small grin showed itself at the corners of his mouth, and Ryan suddenly caught on.
“Oh, Ville, you are so harsh.” The grin spread across Ville’s whole face and onto Ryan’s. “I like it,” Ryan said.
“What are you two boys planning?” April eyed them up dubiously.
“You’ll see. Hey, you wanna come pick us up in about… 20 minutes?” April nodded.
“Ville Valo?” A lady approached Ville and Ryan.
“That’s me.”
“Okay, follow me.”
Bam threw his plate at the wall. He couldn’t even eat without Ville and have it feel right. The plate shattered and the pieces fell to the floor. He wondered when his friends would get back - he was bored, and Raab and DiCo were pissing him off. He didn’t know what had happened to Rake, and Jess was missing without an explanation too. He went upstairs and flung himself on his bed, flicking on the stereo. Ville’s voice blared through the speakers, and he groaned. He looked up and something caught his eye. Ville’s prize guitar glittered in the corner; he bet that Ville’d spent half an hour that morning polishing the damn thing, and he hadn’t even said hello to him. Bam fumed. He was more interesting than a guitar, wasn’t he? Who’d rather polish a guitar than talk to him? The guitar caught a ray of light through the window and shone, just to rub it all in his face, he was sure. Bam stood up and grabbed it. What was so good about it? It was a guitar. Before realizing what he’d done, he’d grabbed a pair of scissors from his desk and cut all the strings from it, relishing the despairing TWANG each one gave as it snapped. Scratches appeared all down the neck somehow, and chunks disappeared from the body, before Bam could stop himself. He took a deep breath and set the guitar down in the corner again. It didn’t shine anymore, and seemed to have recognized its inferiority. Bam nodded resolutely and went back downstairs, ignoring his churning stomach.
What a wicked thing you do
To make me dream of you
Ville and Ryan came back with April, chuckling to themselves. Ville was proud to bursting of his brilliant idea, and Ryan was just laughing at the thought of it.
“This afternoon, right?” Ryan asked.
“Yeah. I’ll tell you when.”
“Brilliant. Oh, um… Jess just sent me an sms - he said he’d just got back and Bam had just spent half an hour destroying your guitar. In case you wanted to know.” Ville rolled his eyes.
“Sokay. It’s not my guitar. I switched mine with that one he had on his wall in his office…” Ryan stared at him, and then burst into laughter.
“Oh, he’s going to be so pissed.” Ville stepped out of the car, cradling the very important white Styrofoam box, and then looked back at Ryan, smiling a little.
“Yep. And he deserves every second of it.”
Bam waited for Ville’s screams when he heard him go upstairs, but they never came. Instead he heard something that vaguely resembled… guitar playing. He raced up the stairs to find Ville sitting on the bed, smiling serenely and playing his guitar. His perfect, beautiful guitar. Ville looked up, trying not to laugh at Bam’s face. Bam’s eyes traveled to the corner of the room, and he suddenly recognized his own guitar, hacked and mangled and looking very lonely indeed.
“Bam… why’d you destroy your Grandpa’s guitar?” Bam looked between the innocent Ville and the destroyed guitar, lost for words. Ville chuckled. “It’s okay. I know this guy; he’s brilliant at fixing guitars. He’s had to fix mine several times, because one of my friends always tries to destroy it.”
“Okay, okay, you win.” Bam came and sat next to his friend. “Truce?” Ville raised an eyebrow.
“Did Bam Margera just offer me a truce? I can’t believe my ears. I must be hearing things.”
“I meant it! I’m sorry for being horrible.” Bam looked down and shuffled his shoes a little. Ville smiled and put his guitar down, giving his friend a quick hug.
“Don’t lie, you enjoyed every second of it. Hold on, I’ve gotta go ask Ryan something.” Ville hopped down the stairs and Bam just sat watching the doorway, waiting for him to come back - mainly because he couldn’t think of anything better to do.
“Hey, Bammie, I got a surprise for you,” Ville bounced back in the room, oddly excited about something. Bam smiled.
“What is it?”
“Hold on, you have to be blindfolded, okay?” Bam frowned a little, and Ville smiled at the cute wrinkles that crossed his face.
“Um… okay.” Ville tied a big piece of black cloth around Bam’s eyes.
“Okay, stay there. I’ll be right back.” Ville bustled out of the room to make sure Ryan was ready in the bathroom, and then came back.
“Okay. Ready?” Bam nodded, and Ville lead him out of the house, twirled him around to make him dizzy, and then walked him around the house in circles, bringing him in the side door that no-one ever used. Up the stairs, around the top floor, and then finally into the bathroom. Bam was completely lost, and Ville was out of breath, but he pushed his helpless friend through the door. Without saying anything, Ville took Bam’s shirt off over his head and Ryan stripped his pants off, and they both clapped him in handcuffs, one set on each hand, attached his hands to the handles on the sides of the bathtub.
“What are you doing?” Bam asked, moving his head around, trying to see.
“Ready?” Ville asked Ryan. Ryan grinned and nodded. They grabbed Bam’s body and sat him in the bathtub. Bam thrashed his legs around a little.
“What the…” Bam stopped moving. “Oh my god.” Ville pulled off his blindfold before he fell to the floor laughing. “Oh. My. God.” Bam was up to his waist in snakes. They were writhing all over him: one was climbing up his chest, another had wrapped itself around his arm. He stared at the bathtub full of snakes for a second, and then screamed. Ville couldn’t breathe he was laughing so hard. “VILLE GET ME OUT! OH MY GOD! AGHHH NOT FUNNY! VILEEEE!!!” He thrashed his legs and tried to stand up but he couldn’t - Ryan had tied his feet together. “GUYS GET ME OUT!” He couldn’t breathe any more. “Ville. Please. Get me out.” Ville sat up.
“Um… no.”
“Ville. Please. Let me out.” Ville simply shook his head.
“No.”
“VILLE! GET ME OUT OF HERE!” Bam shouted. April barged in the door.
“What on earth is… Oh my.” She stopped short, and looked at Ville, still on the floor, tears of laughter on his cheeks.
“MOM! GET ME OUT!” April chuckled.
“I think not.” She grinned at Ville. “Good one, Ville,” she said, and left them to it. Ville stood up and leant over the bathtub. There were tears rolling down Bam’s cheeks; he was still thrashing madly, trying to get out.
“Now, Brandon, have we learnt a lesson?” Bam nodded ferverently.
“Yes, god, I’m sorry, whatever, Ville, just get me the FUCK out of here.”
“And no more pranks?”
“No. No more. I’m sorry.” Ville sat back down.
“I don’t believe you,” he said, smiling to himself. He didn’t like seeing Bam this distressed, honestly he didn’t, but he definitely deserved it.
“Valo you fuckhead get me out of this bathtub right now.” Ryan was still watching them, laughing his head off.
“Ville… maybe you should let him out…” Ville sighed.
“Oh, I suppose you’re right.” He undid the handcuffs and lifted Bam out of the tub, shaking all the snakes off of him. Ryan undid the bindings around his feet and Bam jumped out of Ville’s arms.
“You two suck,” he said, wiping his eyes and running to his room. Ville watched him go and sighed.
“D’ya think that was too harsh, Dunn?”
“Nah. He needed that. He’s been being a little bitch.” Ville sighed again, and they started putting all the snakes back in the box, Ville hoping the whole time that he hadn’t gone one step too far.
No I don't wanna fall in love
this world is always gonna break your heart
No I don't wanna fall in love
this world is always gonna break your heart
..with you
Bam was miserable, cooped up in his room, listening to all the CD’s Ville had ever made for him. This had never happened in 3rd grade. In 3rd grade the girls just giggled and ran away, waiting for him to catch him. They never got angry and played nasty tricks back on him. When had the world changed? Bam sighed and rubbed his head. Obviously he was out of practice with the flirting thing. Ah, it was all useless. He was stuck in the 3rd grade and he just had to accept the fact that he wasn’t ever going to escape.
When he’d first fallen for Ville he tried to stop it. But he couldn’t. He knew it was wrong and blah blah blah, but once he’d started he couldn’t stop. He’d dealt with it for a while, but now it was all too much. And he’d done everything he could and still Ville was as oblivious as the sun is of the moon. Every single prank that got played simply produced rage and then it got brushed off and Ville went back to his goddamn books and his goddamn newfangled philosophy about how he would never love again. Bam wanted to scream. He wanted Ville to love HIM. No matter how many cakes he baked, how many hugs he gave, how many times he listened to Ville crying about his latest heartbreak and ignoring his own, it was all going nowhere.
The past 3 weeks, he’d just been exploding. He wanted so much to be able to call Ville his own, and he could hardly contain it anymore. He’d never had a broken heart before, and if this was half the pain that Ville dealt with on a regular basis, he wasn’t sure he wanted to continue. Because he was sure that his heart was breaking. Every time Ville shrugged and walked away, every minute he spent apart doing something else made Bam’s heart crumble that little bit more. And he’d been in here 4 days, and Ville hadn’t even come to apologize. He was beginning to wonder if he’d screwed everything up, even their apparently indestructible friendship.
He was a mess, and he knew it. He was having fun, that much was true, and yet he knew he couldn’t do this his whole life. He wanted something more. A real job, a nice house, a sensible car; two kids and a dog playing in the front yard and … Ville Valo to call his own.
The world was on fire, no-one could save me but you
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do
A knock on his door brought him out of his thoughts.
“What?” Depressed or not, he was still pissed off at them for the snake thing.
“Can I come in? Please?”
“Whatever.” Ville poked his head around the door to check that Bam was in a sane state of mind and wouldn’t rip his head off. The situation appearing secure, Ville walked in and sat next to him on the bed, taking his hand.
“Look, I’m sorry… The snake thing was really harsh. And I’m sorry. Only please come out of here. I miss you… we all miss you.” Bam frowned and took his hand back - physical contact was not needed for this to suck as much as possible. “Oh, come on Bam, you deserved it, and you know it.” Ville sighed, exasperatedly. “Frankly, my dear friend, you’ve been an ass lately. And I’d like to know when it’s going to stop. Because I want my Bam back.”
“I… oh, fine. I’m sorry about… all the pranks and stuff.” He wanted to be miserable a little more; he quite liked self-pity, it was more fun than facing Ville day in and day out and knowing he had no chance.
“I know. Now come on. Vito has had a new car for a month and you haven’t even flattened the tires yet.” Ville smiled and watched Bam’s eyes widen.
“He’s had a new car for how long?”
“A month. He was celebrating downstairs just now.” Bam snatched up his coat.
“Come on Ville, we are going to fix that.” He may be an emotional mess, and his heart may be broken in two, and he may be stuck in a life he didn’t want anymore, but there was always, always time to wreck Vito’s cars. And then later, he thought, he might bake a cake.
3 days later and Bam had had enough of trying to be just friends. Ville spent most of the morning in bed, after what Bam thought must be an acute attack of post-breakup-depression had kept him awake all night, writhing around in bed. As a result, Bam had also only slept for a grand total of about 2 minutes. It was time for another prank, he thought, watching Ville’s sweaty face contort with his dreams. It was time to throw caution to the wind, and do what he had to do. Otherwise, the love that he had pent up inside him would drive him crazy and he might just spontaneously combust.
“Let the games begin,” he whispered, and quietly padded out of the room to get everything ready. When Ville finally got out of bed that day, he walked right into Bam’s first trap.
“OW. OW OWOWOWOWOWOW!” He hopped backwards, clutching his foot and dusting the thumbtack off of it. “BAM!” He wanted to fall back on his bed and cry. He couldn’t believe that Bam had only managed to contain himself for 3 days. And today of all days, he did not need this. Picking his way through the thumbtacks, he finally got out of the room, and walked quickly through the hallway, aiming for the kitchen. Before he could get there, however, he stepped onto a piece of carpet that had somehow acquired rollers and fell flat on his ass. Not even bothering to grant Bam the pleasure of hearing him scream, he picked himself up and managed to get down the stairs, taking it slowly, one step at a time, making sure that Bam hadn’t cut loose any of the boards so that he’d go falling through. The house was completely empty - which wasn’t unusual on a nice summers afternoon. He ate breakfast - as he had suspected, there was salt in the sugar bowl and someone had put a piece of garlic in the butter so he stuck to very strong coffee and April’s stash of bagels. He was beginning - once again - to wonder why he put up with Bam. In anyone else this kind of behavior would drive him crazy. But he figured that Bam was just dealing with his frustration at not being able to grow up right now, and reasoned that that must be why he was so forgiving with him. He went upstairs, careful to open the door so that the plastic container of syrup didn’t fall on him, turned the heat off so that he wouldn’t’ have to turn on the fan, which was covered in feathers, and crawled back in bed. Just ignore him, that was the best way about this. He’d grow out of it.
Bam watched Ville crawl back into bed on the CCTV that he’d had installed a while back and basically forgotten about until that morning.
“Damn,” he said. “He is soo goddamn boring.” Which wasn’t true, but still, he thought, he’d expected him at least to turn on the TV or something. What was there to do in bed? At noon?! In the summer! Ahh… when Ville was down, he was really down. He smiled and picked up the phone.
Ville sighed and settled back into the pillows, picking up a piece of paper to doodle on. He’d wait till Bam got home to do anything - there was no point in getting up if Bam wasn’t there, because there was nothing to do. He smiled, remembering the past 3 days. It hadn’t quite been normal - there was definitely something wrong with Bam - but it had been so much better. He often thought about how they were the most unlikely people to be so close, but he was glad of it. He would definitely miss Bam if he wasn’t around - he looked at the paper and laughed. Bam’s face had appeared on it without him even thinking. The telephone rang and Ville turned to answer it.
“Hello?”
“Hey. It’s me.”
“Oh. Hi Lily. What’s he done this time?”
“Who? Burton? Nothing. Just… have you seen the news?”
“Um… no. The news is way too depressing to watch on a regular basis.”
“Ville. Go turn on CNN. Right now.” Ville picked up the remote and switched the TV on. Bam’s face filled the screen; he was talking to a reporter about something… Ville frowned.
“Lily, it’s just Bam being…” He stopped speaking and stared at the screen.
“Ville? Ville?” Ville watched the whole broadcast and then switched the TV off. “VILLE!” He picked up the phone again, which he’d dropped.
“Lily…”
“You okay?”
“G… Get me… Get me a flight out of here. Now.”
“I can’t.”
“What do you mean you can’t?!”
“All the airlines are on strike today.” Ville choked.
“Linde I need to get out.” He heard Linde sigh.
“I can’t do anything about it Ville. Deal with it for a day, and then I’ll see what I can do, okay?” Ville heard something vaguely like Burton chuckling in the background, but chose to ignore it.
“Thanks. Really.” Sarcasm dripped from his voice, and he hung up the phone, throwing it at the wall.
No and I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you
I'll never dream that I lose somebody like you, no
Bam had watched Ville turn on the TV and knew Lily was doing his job properly. He snuck quietly into the kitchen - the first place he knew Ville would come in search of a drink, and prepared himself. Ville came thundering down the stairs, cursing up a storm when he lost his balance on the rolling carpet again, and burst into the kitchen.
“Goddamit, who the fuck does the little shit think he is…” He muttered, slamming the cupboard doors. “WHERE’S THE GODAMN ALCOHOL IN THIS HOUSE!?”
“Right here,” Bam said quietly, holding up a bottle of wine. Ville looked over, and Bam seriously thought he was going to have a glass thrown at his head.
“You presumptuous little… I’M making moves on you?! I’M flirting with you?! WHAT?! OH Bam this goes sooo far beyond a simple prank.” Ville narrowed his eyes and Bam sat staring at his hands. “I can handle stepping on pins, and having salty cornflakes and getting wet and all that shit. But public humiliation?! You lied about me to the PRESS?! Do you KNOW what that’s going to do to my career?! My BAND?! MY LIFE?! Do you even THINK, Bam? Is there a BRAIN in there?!” Ville was red in the face and his throat hurt from yelling. “I don’t know why I put up with it. I really really don’t. And I’m not going to anymore. I’m leaving, just as soon as those stupid planes get off strike.” Bam smiled at him a little.
“There isn’t a plane strike, you know.” Ville sighed.
“I knew it. You got Lily and Burton into this too?” Bam shrugged.
“Wasn’t hard. They thought it was a great idea.”
“To wreck our band?!” Bam shook his head and took Ville’s hands firmly.
“That wasn’t a real news-cast. The reporter was a friend of mine. It was just a tape.” Ville stared at him.
“That is so not funny at all Bam.”
“I know.”
“So why’d you do it?”
“You didn’t watch the end of the tape, did you?” Ville shook his head. Bam sighed.
“I dunno why, but whatever. Actually I just wanted to tell you something.”
“Can’t you just TALK, like NORMAL people?!”
“I’m not normal.”
“Obviously.” Ville snorted. “So what is it that you’re dying to tell me so much? Before I leave. Because I am leaving. Now. You have 5 seconds. Go.”
“I…” Now that it was time, Bam found the words hard to say.
“4. 3. 2. On…”
“I’m in love with you.” The words fell out of his mouth, and he and Ville both stared at each other. Ville took a deep breath. Bam sighed; he may be losing his best friend more with every second passing, but at least it was in the open now. Ville didn’t believe what he’d just heard. He shook his head.
“Okay. This trick has gone one step too far, Bam. What the fuck are you…” Bam leant over and grabbed Ville’s face, kissing him quickly and firmly on the lips. Ville pushed him away. “What the fuck is wrong with you? I’m leaving Bam. When you grow up, maybe we can talk again.”
“Ville. I’m not kidding. You know all your talk about “the one” and all that shit? You’re right, Ville. There is only one person for me. Which is you.” Ville stopped with his hand on the doorknob. Bam had tears in his eyes, and his hand clutched at Ville’s arm. “I’m an asshole, Ville, and I’m a mess. I need your help. I’m sorry for… everything. Anything I’ve ever did. I don’t want to do it anymore. I want to start over. I love you.” Ville turned his head slowly, his heart beating hard in his chest. A strange urge to rush over and kiss his best friend to stop his pained ramblings almost overpowered him, but he gained control of himself, and took a deep breath.
“Bam… I… I’m done with love. It’s not meant for me. I… I’m sorry… I wish…”
Now I wanna fall in love
This world is always gonna break your heart
He stopped. What did he wish? That his last relationship had never happened and his heart hadn’t been broken one too many times, so he could justify the feelings rushing through him? Or that he could throw caution to the wind. Or that they hadn’t been friends for 3 years and were random acquaintances in a bar?
“Tell me you don’t feel anything for me?” Bam was squeezing his hand now - he’d seen Ville stop dead in his tracks, and hope started making him bold. His blue eyes sparkled, and Ville realized that it wasn’t the first time he’d almost fallen into them.
“I… Bam I can’t do this!” He pulled away and went to the other side of the room. Bam grinned inwardly at the knowledge that he’d managed to get Ville flustered - his tight jeans hid nothing. He striped off his shirt, knowing full well that he was playing mean. Ville looked over again and saw Bam’s bare chest, his blue eyes, his brown hair falling into his face - and gave in.
Now I wanna fall in lust
This world is always gonna break your heart
..with you
He was back on the other side of the room in half a second, pressing Bam against the wall, straddling his lap, and finally kissing his soft lips. They kissed till they were both breathless and Ville had been forced to take his shirt off, too.
“Is that… a… yes?” Bam asked, in between pecks at Ville’s lips.
“Hmm. No… more pranks? You… promise?” Bam frowned at him.
“C’mon, be realistic, Ville.”
“Okay. Fewer pranks?” Bam thought about it and nodded.
“I think I can do that.”
Ville still wasn’t completely satisfied; he found Bam’s lips again, wondering what he’d been doing with this “friends” shit for three years. Suddenly he was curious.
“Bam… how long have you…”
“2 years.” Ville groaned. That was a hell of a long time.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You were… busy.” Ville kissed him again, unable to get over the feeling of completeness as he did.
“I think I loved you the whole time,” he said without thinking, realizing it was true as he said it.
“I thought you were ‘done with love,’” Bam teased, his hands running over Ville’s back. Ville sat on Bam’s knees, thinking a little.
“You know what I think now?”
“No, darling, what do you think?”
Ville cocked his head, looking at Bam thoughtfully. He was surprisingly comfortable with this situation. He liked this situation. He nodded to himself, and bent forward to sing into Bam’s ear. “Nobody loves no-one.” Pulling the love of his life down into his arms, Bam grinned, knowing he had finally played the game right - and this time he'd won.
okay. so crappy ending there. but it'll do. epilogue to come.