but I have come to a very sobering realization about myself. I am a fuck up. point blank period, this is what I am. I have never really lived up to my potential in anything I've ever done. Ever since I can remember I have been mediocre and I was ok with that. My problem? I have never really given a shit about anything, or anyone to be honest. I ( Read more... )

Since I've posted anything on here, 8 months to be exact. I felt like I've had no inspiration to write but tonight, or this morning I should say, I just feel like I need to create something, some form of expression that I feel like I haven't done in a while. I remember how therapeutic this used to make me feel and how religiously I would update ( Read more... )

I think the reason why I haven't blogged in so long is because I feel like everything i write down is gibberish. like it doesn't even really make sense. there aren't any realizations that come after reading the entry and so I just delete them. I've written paragraphs and paragraphs that I scrapped because they just sounded like mindless rambling ( Read more... )

Closing a chapter of your life is probably one of the hardest things anybody can do. The memories, thoughts, emotions associated with a person or place reaches into the farthest depths of your being that when it is finally time to put an end to that part of your life, it is gut wrenching and almost unfathomable. Like is this really happening?? You' ( Read more... )

where the fuck are my keys!!!!!!i've been looking for that shit for 2 days!!!!

everybody talks about how it's not how it used to be and I agree but I hate that it's like this. For the most part a lot of people are busier now and they have a lot more important things to do than just kick it all day but what makes me soooooo mad is that people just don't realize that things don't really have to be this way. People just can't ( Read more... )

I think I'm too critical of how and what I write. Sometimes I'll write paragraphs and paragraphs of shit then at the end scrap it all because I think it's a bunch of bullshit but I think it really hinders my ability to express what I'm really thinking. So I think for the most part from now on, there will be a lot of incoherent rambling and I think ( Read more... )

im an awkward guy. i'm not socially inept, actually i'm a pretty social dude. I think I'm actually pretty charming, or so I've been told. I dunno though, I doubt myself a lot. I'm pretty insecure sometimes and I try to mask that with humor. I'm goofy, to the point that it's hard to take me seriously. It's a gift and a curse. People aren't ( Read more... )

to meet new people. I've come to realize now that winter break is ending, a lot of people are drifting away from each other. Everybody has their own lives and they seem to be perfectly fine with that. I am never one to cling on to something forever and when I realized a change is coming, I feel like I cope with it pretty well. Winter break has ( Read more... )

not too stressed. Not even stressed at all really. I'll be going home to cali next week but just for a couple days, got work on the weekend. I'll be spending xmas away from family this year, first time ever. I'm kinda sad about it. I know the extent of it really hasn't hit me yet but i bet i'll be pretty bummed about it.=(