Sweet Valley University #6; The Love of Her Life
Okay, so when I was younger I was all about the Liz/Todd OTP but as soon as SVU came along, I threw Todd under the bus for Tom Watts. That's right, L/(other)T was my OTP. I'm not proud. Especially when I learned from daniellafromage's recap that Tom kinda turned out to be a dick. But whatever. I didn't read that far into the the series.
Sweet Valley University #6: The Love of Her Life
The cover shows a very toothy Elizabeth in a horrid top hugging Tom. Tom kinda reminds me of Jason from Power Rangers (Hey, I just admitted to the Liz/Tom OTP, the shame can't get much greater at making a Power Rangers reference, can it?).
Jessica wakes up in Steven and Billie the Girl's apartment. Mike is pounding on the door for her to come out. Jessica begs Billie and Steven not to let Mike into the apartment, as she's terrified of him. Steven shouts that he's not afraid of that punk, and stupidly opens the door. This is the kind of door opening that one will regret for at least, say, three-ish books, because Mike has gone at got his-self a gun (just like Annie). Steven tries to grab the gun from Mike, but it skids across the floor. They both dive for it and it goes off. The ghostwriter says they both lay "lifeless" on the floor which is just false advertising designed to get your hopes up.
When next we return to the apartment of random shootings, Steven has blood on his chest. Billie rolls him over to look at it. No one told her it's not a good idea to move people who might have spinal cord injuries. Whatever, no one cares about health in SV. Jess assumes Steven is dead and flips out. Then he opens his eyes. It's Mike's blood on Steven. Mike is bleeding out. Jessica, again, flips out about how her "first love" is dying. (SAM: [from beyond the grave] I get no love? Bitch.)
Later, the ambulance takes Mike away, Jessica thinks that the tragedy doesn't "agree" with the beautiful night. Because bad things only happen on dark and stormy evenings! She has no emotion; feels numb. This is pretty typical for a sociopath, no? Billie tells her that she thinks "he" is dead. Jessica doesn't know who "he" could be. I'd say she's an idiot, but she's in shock so I'm giving her pass. You only get one, Jessica, don't squander it. Meanwhile, Steven in taken away in handcuffs.
Instead of following Mike's ambulance to the hospital or going to the police station, Jessica goes to their apartment and cries. Already, I'm thinking of revoking the pass. Is it too early for that?
After attempting to call Liz and getting Celine, she sits in the apartment and emos. (Is emo a verb? I vote we make it so.) She calls Billie, but Billie is busy trying to get Steven a lawyer. Then Jess calls her parents but they are, of course, not home as they are whenever anything important happens.
Steven is in the clink, accused of murder (a bit premature, since we know Mike doesn't die). Sadly, his cell mate is an old drunk not some biker dude who will make him his bitch. (I would totally read that book. Don't drop the soap!) He thinks about what happened but honestly can't remember who pulled the trigger--him or Mike. If you don't remember pulling it, I'd say you didn't. Maybe that's just me.
Both Liz and Jess finally get off their asses and visit the police station. Liz lamely says that everything will be okay. Good thing she's there with a platitude for every situation! Billie the Girl comes and tells them that Steven is now charged with attempted murder because Mike is not dead. But they won't know what bail is until the hearing tomorrow. She's got a non-Ned Wakefield defense attorney lined up for him. Steven's damn lucky to have Billie the Girl because both of his sisters are useless. They just cry and whine.
Liz tries to tell Jessica that she has to go to the hospital to see Mike because she's his "wife". I firmly disagree. The man beat the tar out of her. She owes him nothing. It's not like, because she's his wife, she has magical powers than could heal him or anything. Jessica doesn't want to go but Liz says she has to stop "thinking about herself." Why, why, why did she never tell Jessica the bazillion times she was actually acting selfishly?
In prison, the guards make fun of Steven because he was "prelaw" at SVU. We're supposed to think all prison guards are jerks, like Bellick on Prison Break or something. But it is kind of hilarious when you think about it. The other prisoners make razz him when they hear this, as you would, but when they discover he shot his sister's husband, one of them declares that he's his kind of lawyer. Eh. I'd personally like to have a lawyer that wasn't in prison himself; maybe that's just me. Or maybe that's why they're still in prison.
Instead of staying with Izzie, for some reason Jessica goes back to Mike's place and ends up accidentally falling asleep. (Ba-wha?) The phone wakes her up; it's Mike's mom all, "I'm at the hospital where are you?" To this, Jessica should say, "Your son nearly killed me! Bugger off you old hag!" But she does not. Jessica reminds us that Mike's mother is a rich bitch. To drive the point home, Mrs. McAllery tells Jessica that Mike only has a 50-50 chance to live and that sometimes when "loved ones" are around it gives a sick person strength. She demands that Jessica come visit. Jessica lies and says she'll try.
She packs up her things and attempts to leave the apartment, only to be met by Steven who is out of the clink. Billie and Steven awkwardly tell her that the district attorney is out to get Steven and that Jessica will have to testify on his behalf. In a return to awesomeness, she readily agrees and tells Steven she's glad it wasn't him that got shot.
But then, in an abrupt reversal of awesomeness, Liz calls and again tells Jess she should go see Mike. WHY!?! Ugh. I'm so annoyed at Liz in this plotline. Then, of course, Mike's mother calls again. And this time Jessica agrees to go visit him in the hospital because she still loves him. Her abuser. Holy christ, I can't put words to my anger so I'm just moving on.
There's a police officer guarding Mike's room, which is good because he's an abuser and a shooter and a jerk. Jess sits by his beside and cries. Mike wakes up. He says he "never wanted to hurt her." The punching and brandishing weapons was accidental then? We learn that Mike is ( temporarily) paralyzed. He promises her things will be different now. He'll testify on Steven's behalf; he won't drink; he won't hit her. He loves her! Too late, I say.
Jessica calls Steven and Billie the Girl to let them know that Mike is going to live. I guess her being there did have magical restorative properties or something because five seconds ago he was 50-50. Steven is glad to not be a murderer. I can't really mock that. She then tells him she plans to stay with Mike since she's his "wife" and it's her "duty." Oh what the fuck!? For some reason, Steven doesn't flip out about this and just says he'll support her no matter what she does. Grr.
At the hospital, Jessica thinks about her life with Mike. She realizes she doesn't want to stay with him, really. Not because he was a drunk, abusive, terrible, brother-shooting husband but because he can't walk now. Way to wade into the shallow end of the pool, Jessica. Then she thinks she sees Mike's leg twitch but dismisses it.
Mike wakes up and promises, again, that things are going to change. He asks Jessica if she loves him. She wonders why she can't answer "yes." I can think of two reasons: 1) You're a sociopath and don't have those emotions or 2) Because he hit you and you shouldn't love him. Both equally possible.
Mike, in a rare moment of not being a total dick, sees that she's having trouble and decides, belatedly, that she was too young to get married. He says she has her whole life ahead of her and he should let her go, move on. He tells her, that he's going to get their marriage annulled. (Please compare this behavior with Todd's below. It's weird that Mike's the wife-beater, right?)
Finally, Steven's case comes before the court. He's all happy because Mike said he'd say it was all his fault. But Mike... hasn't. Jessica flips out because she thinks Mike is going to go back on his word. (These alcoholic wife-beaters are so unpredictable.) But he does, eventually, confess that he was the one who pulled the trigger and shot his own self. Then he tells Jessica he loves her and the nurses wheel his crippled ass away. Bye now!
While her sister and brother are dodging bullets, Liz is making out with crazy William White in his apartment. I leave it up to you, dear reader, to decide which is more dangerous. Liz reminds us that William creeps her out, but she's making out with him anyway. Good thinking! He goes to get some liquor and she takes that opportunity to poke through his things because she is the nosiest person that every nosied. She looks at the books on his shelf. One of them doesn't have a title on its spine. So of course she has to take it off the shelf and look at it!
The book is in code. There are only bits that Liz can read one of them is Bryan Nelson's name followed by the date he was attacked (by the racist secret society, someone ought to recap that one.) At that moment, William, naturally, returns and asks her what she is doing. Liz tries to put the book back before he sees, but as she shoves it back onto the shelf, the bookmark comes loose. It has the racist secret society insignia on it which is a broken star. (Note to future racist, secret society leaders: Your insignia should be like hearts and puppies or something to throw people off your trail.)
William tries to play it off like it's not a racist secret society. But Liz already recognizes the insignia from when Tom showed it to her. (The book tells me Tom was in the racist secret society before his life changing accident, something twelve-year-old strangerface clearly repressed. (Twelve-year-old strangerface: It wasn't important. LIZ/TOM 4EVA!)
Since Nina and Bryan were attacked, Liz has been looking for the leader of the secret society. Now she stupidly says outloud "It's you!" Way to alert the crazy person that you're onto him. Not that it matters; she gets away like she always does. Liz has cockroach-ian escape abilities.
Meanwhile, beloved Tom is worried about Liz (and rightly so). He went to her dorm and was told by Celine that Liz was with William. See, Tom figured out last book that William was the leader of the racist secret society (Twelve year old strangerface: He's so smart!! Current strangerface: It's not that hard to be smarter than Liz!), but he hasn't had time to tell Liz yet, because she's busy making out with Willie and all. Also, William had convinced Liz that Tom was leader of the secret society last book. And Liz believed him because she's Liz.
Tom has now decided the answer to his problems is to creepily skulk (Twelve-year old strangerface: It's romantic!! Not creepy!) in the shadows, watching William's apartment. He doesn't even go bang on the door or anything. She could be dead already, for all he knows. Tom, you're not very proactive. If you're going to be Liz's boyfriend, you've got to make with the punching already. Lucky for Tom, Liz soon comes rushing out of the building. She launches herself into his arms and says "It's William!" which Tom already knew, but he's happy to get some hugs.
Celine, meanwhile, spends the evening screwing Peter Wilbourne. She reminds us that she was dating Tom Watts last book, which is something I don't remember at all. (Twelve-year old strangerface: Repress!) Tom would never kiss Celine, probably because I imagine she smells like a mix of cigarettes, nail polish and Old Granny. Then he stood her up for the charity ball to go running after Liz. All this annoys Celine. She wants to make with the smoochy. That's why she's did Peter. She's totally just using him, which is awesome. I kinda love crazy Celine.
Then William shows up wanting to know where Liz is. Celine has no idea. She tries hitting on William, because we all know she's obsessed with him but, like always, he shrugs her off. Then tells her that Liz knows about the secret society, which Celine is involved in too. Of course.
Liz is actually at WSVU with Tom. She thinks about how comfortable it is to be with him (Twelve-year old strangerface: Twu love!). They both know now that William is the leader of the evil, racist secret society. Liz comments what an idiot she is. I'm like, "Uh-huh, yup, knew that several hundred books ago, but do go on." Then, to prove her point, Liz suggest she go back to William's room and steal the book, to provide evidence he's the leader. Tom is like, "Uh, how about no?"
Liz thinks about how gross it was that she was just making out with a crazy, racist cult leader. Tom is concerned; she can't make out what he's thinking. She thinks' about Tom "he had more nooks and crannies to him than anyone she had ever known." DIRTY! She asks him to tell him what's going on in his head and he says he'll tell her but he can't talk at the WSVU offices. I have no idea why this is. Contrivance alert! This is not a drill! Tom brings Liz to his dorm room. He's about to bare his soul to Liz when, his police scanner (I thought only crazy old, hillbillies had police scanners?) announces that Steven has been arrested. Liz has to go spout her platitudes to Jessica.
Celine hears the phone ring. She thinks it's William coming crawling back but it's Jessica calling for Liz. Jessica tells Celine that Mike has been shot and she actually thinks "Ho-hum." Hi-larious! Celine then promptly calls William to tell him of this new development, because she's his crazy sidekick, kind of like Harley Quinn, puddin'! (If William and Celine ever actually dated, they'd be settin' the woods on fire.)
That night, William and Celine sleep together. I'm very upset this happens off page. When she wakes up, he's boring and mooning over Liz again. What is with the guys being obsessed with Liz? Does she have beer flavoried nipples or something? William demands Celine help him convince Liz he is not involved in the racist, secret society. Celine and I think that horse is out of the barn.
After a long night at the prison, Liz arrives at her hall to find Tom waiting for her. Tom had come over to tell Liz his big sob story, but he realizes that now is probably not the time. (Twelve-year-old strangerface: He's sensitive too!)
So Liz goes back to her dorm, where Celine is hanging out in her undies and smokin' (probably figuratively as well). William is there too but he's not in his underwear so that's not as fun. They're both apparently drunk though, so there's that. Liz once again tells William she thinks he's the leader of the racist, secret society. He says Tom is fooling her and that's she's gullible. Liz says she's not (lies!) and she doesn't believe him. Willie gets mad, calls Liz "common" and storms out. Celine is pleased.
Next, we have our token "Liz has a black friend!" moment, when she goes to see Nina Harper. They recap the Steven is arrested plot line. Then Nina innocently asks how William is, not knowing he's the crazy racist who has been trying to kill her. Embarrassed, Liz asks how Bryan is doing. At that moment, Bryan appears. He stayed over! He and Nina were having teh sex!! Liz starts to giggle uncontrollably because she's twelve. (Twelve-year-old strangerface: What's that supposed to mean?!)
Liz then has to go find Tom at WSVU and tell him what happened with William and Celine. There's an awful lot of people telling other people what's going on in this book; it'd be a lot simpler if they just read my recap. Tom thinks that he never trusted William White, even before the accident when he was Patman-esque. We're supposed to be impressed with this. (Twelve-year-old strangerface: WE ARE!!)
Liz goes into cub reporter mode and whips out a notebook. She makes Tom tell her everything he remembers about the racist secret society. He says, one night five dudes in ski masks broke into his room. He was pissed that they'd break into his room and was all "Who do you think you are?", for some reason Tom tells Liz he was arrogant back then. I think breaking and entering might deserve a little "Who do you think you are?" but I digress. The guys took Tom to the beach where more dudes in ski masks and capes were waiting. ("Say repressed homosexuality!")
Tom reveals that the true name of the racist secret society is the Fraternal Order of the Gallows or FOG. This begs the question, when they break into your dorm room, do they come in on litte cat feet? As far as racist secret society names go, I'm not impressed.
After their encounter with Todd, Tom walks Liz back to her dorm. They almost kiss but Celine opens the door and makes fun of them. (Twelve-year-old strangerface: Darnit!; Current strangerface: Haha, Celine is awesome!) The fact that William is in the room with Celine totally kills the mood.
William is enraged. Liz and Tom are freaked. Celine thinks it's awesome, as do I! William and Tom both take one of Liz's arms and Celine thinks "I hope they rip her apart and the stuffing comes out." I say it again: I love Celine. William threatens Liz, trying to scare her off investigating "FOG." Tom and Liz stupidly tell him that they're doing a story and it'll be on TV tomorrow. Be sure to watch! The dumb is really palpable in SVU.
Liz dreams about Tom and his eyes that night (no I'm not kidding, there's lots of focus on his "bottomless" eyes which is supposed to be romantic, not creepifying). When she wakes up, Celine is in the room watching her. Liz thinks this is odd but doesn't do anything about it. Then the door bursts open and Liz is taken from her bed by William. That's what you get for telling crazy leaders of racist secret societies the date and time of when you're going to expose them.
The next morning, Tom is at WSVU wondering where Liz could be. Hmm. I DON'T KNOW! Liz, is once again kidnapped. Seriously, how many times can someone kidnap her? You'd think she'd almost be bored of it now. But, no, she's panicked. She actually asks, "Who are you? Why are you doing this?" Again, I DON'T KNOW! Liz listens and deduces that she is in a car with Celine and William. She's proud of herself for figuring it out, but any one of us could've guessed that without any hints whatsoever.
Liz faints and when she wakes up, she hears a new voice. It's Peter Wilbourne III and he's actually suggesting they take her back. You know crazy William is really crazy when racist Peter Wilbourne thinks he's gone too far. But then that might just be because Liz is white. William tells Liz they are keeping her from making a big mistake by reporting on the secret society. Liz is all, "Hate to burst your bubble, but we taped it already. It wasn't a live story."
Crazy William didn't think of that. He tells Liz if the story airs, he'll kill her. As if she has any control over it! He's tied her up and kidnapped her!
When Liz's report does air, William is enraged, as if she could've stopped it with the power of her brain or something. He starts screaming like, well, a crazy person. Celine tries to make him shut the hell up but he won't because he is a crazy person. Celine doesn't want to kill Elizabeth; she doesn't like Liz but she's not really a murderer. But William says if she doesn't help, they'll kill her too.
The racist secret society (which isn't so secret anymore, I guess), all stand around Liz. They take off her hood and William taunts her. He says he thought she was "a woman of class and honor" but now he realizes she's just like her sister, Jessica, who fell for "that gutter trash McAllery." This is obviously supposed to be lunatic ranting, but then he seems to be the only one calling out Mike for what he is, you know? It's not good that I'm like "Yeah! That's right!" agreeing with the crazy dude.
William plans to kill Liz and make it look like a suicide, which I think probably won't go over since she just outed a secret society on TV. But whatever. Celine doesn't want to be around for the actual killing so she leaves, claiming she needs a cigarette. I didn't know cigarette breaks were allowed in group murders.
Instead she calls Tom at WSVU. She tells Tom that William plans to kill Liz. He tells her to go back into the secret lair and pretend nothing is amiss and that he's coming with the police. I read through their phone conversation three times, looking for the location of the secret lair. Never does Celine tell him; Tom just knows. Why not include that in the report? I don't get it.
The police ask Tom this same question, about how he knows where they are going and Tom is like "I'll tell ya later." You know, if you told someone sooner, this might not have happened. All I'm saying. (Twelve-year-old strangerface: He couldn't have known they'd kidnap her! Current strangerface: Uh...)
It turns out the secret lair is in Sigma House. They, like all good evil fraternities, have a huge pit in their basement. For throwing pledges in! That's... university sanctioned? Anyway, they're going to hang Liz by dropping her from a rope into the pit. Celine is the only one who doesn't think this is a good idea. She wonders wildly how she can save Liz.
Tom, meanwhile, has reached the secret trapdoor that leads to the pit room. He and the police wander through the underground tunnels that lead to the pit (because it's not a good pit without creepy underground tunnels to go with it!). However, when they reach the door leading to the actual pit itself, Tom finds that it is barricaded. He hears Liz scream on the other side.
Liz is actually not going quietly into the night like usual. She claws at Peter Wilbourne and he, being a big baby, lets her go. She shouts at Peter that he doesn't have to listen to William and if he does, he'll go to jail. This gives Peter pause. Probably because there are black people in jail! Annoyed, William decides he's going to kill Liz himself, and he shoves Peter aside.
Tom and the police officers throw themselves at the door, trying to get it to open. (Is it wrong of me to think that if Todd were Liz's boyfriend here, he would've TODD PUNCHed the door and it would've magically fallen away?) Finally, it does open but not because of them. Celine is on the other side; she is letting them in. The police swarm into the secret lair and arrest all the FOG members. Except... Celine realizes that Elizabeth and William are missing. It is so like those crack SV police officers to arrest the lackeys before rescuing the girl they heard screaming earlier.
William is getting away! He has a secret escape route to go with his secret lair/pit and creepy tunnels. Of course he does! It's a matching set! Tom sees a flash of Liz's hair and runs for it. He actually leaps Evel Knievel-style across the pit and grabs William in a head-lock. (Twelve-year old strangerface: See? Tom is awesome. Current strangeface: I'll give you that one!)
Willie tries to fight back, but obviously Tom is a big dude and he's not. He ends up nearly falling into the pit. He hangs on by one "bony" hand, and demands Tom help him up. Tom says, "Give me a single reason why I should?" Ha! William says he doesn't have the guts to let him die; and Tom replies that he will help him up but only because he wants to see William suffer in a prison cell, powerless, for the rest of his life. Which is a good plan, in theory, but this is Sweet Valley. The crazies always get out again.
I should mention, that during this awesome fight between William and Tom, Celine wonders if anyone would come to save her like that. And my response is: "Me?"
Tom has to leave with the police (for contrivance reasons, naturally). Liz makes to go back to her room but is approached by a shadowy figure. She flips out until she realizes it's just Todd. Todd tells Liz that he was a jerk and he loves her and he wants to get back together with her. Again I will direct your attention to how much he and Mike sound alike in these passages (the ghostwriters do not go for the subtle!).
Unlike her sister, Liz doesn't buy Todd's excuses. She tells him she forgives him for being a dick to her in the beginning of the semester but she's glad they broke up. Because it gives them a chance to grow up, move on, live their lives. He asks if this is about Tom, bitterly, and she says he is only part of it. Todd doesn't take this well. He yells at her: "It's not over, Elizabeth! It'll never be over! I don't care what you say! I'm never going to let you go!"
And... it's just really creepy. I mean. Read it again. Stalkerish, right? Even wife-beater Mike let Jessica go. I really don't like Todd in SVU. (Twelve-year-old strangerface: Plus he never leaped pits. He only punched people. How lame is that?)
After a shower, Liz comes back to the room to find Tom. He let himself in since her door is broken and all. Liz is embarrassed because she's in a towel and this always seems to happen to her. I think it's the universe's way of telling her to get nekkid with someone already. She might be less annoying then. Tom, being a college guy and not a prude, thinks it's hilarious.
When she returns clothed, they hug. Liz thinks that Tom is "The man she'd fallen so helplessly in love with. The one she'd dreamed about, wanted with all her heart." (Twelve-year-old strangerface: It's so romantic!!!) Finally, finally, they kiss. Tom quotes the poem he slipped under her door in one of the previous books. Liz is surprised, since William White took credit for it. But really, it was Tom she'd loved all along.
After lots of making out, Tom finally mans up and tells Liz his backstory. He used to be a big football star. His parents were supposed to come see him play one game. Actually, he told them they had to come because it was a big, important game. So they did. They drove from Colorado and, because of bad weather, there was an accident. (This part makes me think of Lilo and Stitch when Lilo says, "It was raining, and they went for a drive.") Tom's entire family died in the crash: his mother, father, sister and brother. He tells her he felt like he killed them. He quit football that day and never played again.
Tom says he wishes his parents could've met Liz, because he loves her. She tells him she loves him too. And that's the end of the book. (Twelve-year-old strangerface: SEE?!?! Romantic! OTP!!!)
Todd is sad as it was recently exposed (by Liz and Tom) that the athletes at SVU were getting special treatment. Now everyone treats him like a leper (Twelve-year old strangerface: That's what you get you, yucky pants!). His slutty girlfriend, Lauren Hill (no relation to the Fugees singer, I presume) is still all over him like white on rice though. Todd doesn't want to have teh sex though; he wants to be emo. Lauren gets pissed and says maybe he shouldn't have broken up with Liz and then she wouldn't have ruined his college basketball career. Todd, because he's dumb, agrees with her. Klassy! Lauren, understandably, leaves.
Then Todd goes to Mark Gathers' place (you'll remember he's doin' it with Enid/Alex). Mark has skipped town and left Todd a note, which I find hilarious for some reason. He thinks he has no one, but then remembers Liz. He decides he wants her back.
Later, Todd has a date with the Dean. The Dean, who doesn't rank a name, tells Todd he's suspended. Todd protests that taking all those bribes and special favors and all wasn't his fault, the school made it seem okay! The Dean is not impressed. He says, "Good day, Mr. Wilkins." So I name him Dean Fez.
Todd goes looking for Liz at her dorm, the library and finally at WSVU. He asks her to help with his case. Liz agrees; I don't know why. Then Tom shows up and Todd chickens out of telling her how he's done with skanky Lauren.
Later Todd takes out an old photo album stuffed with pictures of him and Liz and emos. Lauren shows up and is pissed. She had asked him to get rid of all his Liz pictures, but Todd did not. Lauren calls him a jerk and (again) storms out. I don't think she should've come back in the first place but obviously she has no self-esteem.
Todd gets a call from Dean Fez who tells him the trustees have voted and he's not allowed to play basketball this season, but he can still train with the team and possibly play next year. Mark, however, is thrown off the team for good (because he took actual money and used it to buy himself an Explorer). He decides to go tell Liz the good news but Liz isn't there because she's busy being kidnapped. The door of Celine and Liz's room is actually off its hinges. Todd apparently doesn't think this is odd at all. He walks in and leaves a note on Liz's bed. He leaves a note. A NOTE! We've reached a new level of Todd dumb.
After the news report, Todd thinks he has to go tell Liz how much he loves her. And the door off its hinge still doesn't strike him as odd? Even after seeing her on TV talking about a crazy cult? He just keeps getting dumber as he goes on.
Todd breaks into WSVU thinking Liz is there. She's not. Smooth move, genius! He continues to search for her, but only finds her after all the fun punching is over when she's hugging it out with Tom. Oops.
Alex tries to call Mark. We know, already, from Todd's plotline that Mark has left the building. I guess his girlfriend didn't rate a note like Todd did. Finally she gets Todd to tell her that Mark is gone. Alex feels all alone in the world. She blames Liz for all this. That's right. She blames Liz because her boyfriend took bribes and skipped town. I think she was smarter when she was Enid.
A long while later, Mark finally shows up to talk to Alex. They meet at a diner. The reader already knows that Mark is kicked off the team by now, but Alex does not. He tells her this and also that he's leaving Sweet Valley. His ill-begotten Explorer is packed with all his things. He tells her there is nothing left for him here, which also scores a KLASSY! Those SVU basketball players sure know how to woo a woman. He leaves. We don't miss him. Winston is happy because last book he hooked up with Denise Walters. They just kissed. But now seeing words like "throbbing anticipation" used to describe their kisses, it makes anyone over twelve think Winnie got some action! (Twelve year old strangerface: Ew, gross.) But, actually, it turns out I'm wrong, Winston is just thinking about teh sex. Because he really wants to have it. Danny Wyatt makes fun of him, which I'm glad of because otherwise I'd have to do it.
Winston, Denise, Nina and Bryan all watch Liz's newscast together. The two couples are happy and smoochy until Todd shows up to act as fifth wheel.
Todd's reaction to the report is not "ZOMG! There's a racist secret society! Maybe that's why her door was broken?" but "Liz is hot." I know. I know.
Later, Winston and Denise make out. Winston thinks he's finally going to get some. But Denise is a total tease and tells him to slow down.
Sweet Valley University #6: The Love of Her Life
The cover shows a very toothy Elizabeth in a horrid top hugging Tom. Tom kinda reminds me of Jason from Power Rangers (Hey, I just admitted to the Liz/Tom OTP, the shame can't get much greater at making a Power Rangers reference, can it?).
Jessica wakes up in Steven and Billie the Girl's apartment. Mike is pounding on the door for her to come out. Jessica begs Billie and Steven not to let Mike into the apartment, as she's terrified of him. Steven shouts that he's not afraid of that punk, and stupidly opens the door. This is the kind of door opening that one will regret for at least, say, three-ish books, because Mike has gone at got his-self a gun (just like Annie). Steven tries to grab the gun from Mike, but it skids across the floor. They both dive for it and it goes off. The ghostwriter says they both lay "lifeless" on the floor which is just false advertising designed to get your hopes up.
When next we return to the apartment of random shootings, Steven has blood on his chest. Billie rolls him over to look at it. No one told her it's not a good idea to move people who might have spinal cord injuries. Whatever, no one cares about health in SV. Jess assumes Steven is dead and flips out. Then he opens his eyes. It's Mike's blood on Steven. Mike is bleeding out. Jessica, again, flips out about how her "first love" is dying. (SAM: [from beyond the grave] I get no love? Bitch.)
Later, the ambulance takes Mike away, Jessica thinks that the tragedy doesn't "agree" with the beautiful night. Because bad things only happen on dark and stormy evenings! She has no emotion; feels numb. This is pretty typical for a sociopath, no? Billie tells her that she thinks "he" is dead. Jessica doesn't know who "he" could be. I'd say she's an idiot, but she's in shock so I'm giving her pass. You only get one, Jessica, don't squander it. Meanwhile, Steven in taken away in handcuffs.
Instead of following Mike's ambulance to the hospital or going to the police station, Jessica goes to their apartment and cries. Already, I'm thinking of revoking the pass. Is it too early for that?
After attempting to call Liz and getting Celine, she sits in the apartment and emos. (Is emo a verb? I vote we make it so.) She calls Billie, but Billie is busy trying to get Steven a lawyer. Then Jess calls her parents but they are, of course, not home as they are whenever anything important happens.
Steven is in the clink, accused of murder (a bit premature, since we know Mike doesn't die). Sadly, his cell mate is an old drunk not some biker dude who will make him his bitch. (I would totally read that book. Don't drop the soap!) He thinks about what happened but honestly can't remember who pulled the trigger--him or Mike. If you don't remember pulling it, I'd say you didn't. Maybe that's just me.
Both Liz and Jess finally get off their asses and visit the police station. Liz lamely says that everything will be okay. Good thing she's there with a platitude for every situation! Billie the Girl comes and tells them that Steven is now charged with attempted murder because Mike is not dead. But they won't know what bail is until the hearing tomorrow. She's got a non-Ned Wakefield defense attorney lined up for him. Steven's damn lucky to have Billie the Girl because both of his sisters are useless. They just cry and whine.
Liz tries to tell Jessica that she has to go to the hospital to see Mike because she's his "wife". I firmly disagree. The man beat the tar out of her. She owes him nothing. It's not like, because she's his wife, she has magical powers than could heal him or anything. Jessica doesn't want to go but Liz says she has to stop "thinking about herself." Why, why, why did she never tell Jessica the bazillion times she was actually acting selfishly?
In prison, the guards make fun of Steven because he was "prelaw" at SVU. We're supposed to think all prison guards are jerks, like Bellick on Prison Break or something. But it is kind of hilarious when you think about it. The other prisoners make razz him when they hear this, as you would, but when they discover he shot his sister's husband, one of them declares that he's his kind of lawyer. Eh. I'd personally like to have a lawyer that wasn't in prison himself; maybe that's just me. Or maybe that's why they're still in prison.
Instead of staying with Izzie, for some reason Jessica goes back to Mike's place and ends up accidentally falling asleep. (Ba-wha?) The phone wakes her up; it's Mike's mom all, "I'm at the hospital where are you?" To this, Jessica should say, "Your son nearly killed me! Bugger off you old hag!" But she does not. Jessica reminds us that Mike's mother is a rich bitch. To drive the point home, Mrs. McAllery tells Jessica that Mike only has a 50-50 chance to live and that sometimes when "loved ones" are around it gives a sick person strength. She demands that Jessica come visit. Jessica lies and says she'll try.
She packs up her things and attempts to leave the apartment, only to be met by Steven who is out of the clink. Billie and Steven awkwardly tell her that the district attorney is out to get Steven and that Jessica will have to testify on his behalf. In a return to awesomeness, she readily agrees and tells Steven she's glad it wasn't him that got shot.
But then, in an abrupt reversal of awesomeness, Liz calls and again tells Jess she should go see Mike. WHY!?! Ugh. I'm so annoyed at Liz in this plotline. Then, of course, Mike's mother calls again. And this time Jessica agrees to go visit him in the hospital because she still loves him. Her abuser. Holy christ, I can't put words to my anger so I'm just moving on.
There's a police officer guarding Mike's room, which is good because he's an abuser and a shooter and a jerk. Jess sits by his beside and cries. Mike wakes up. He says he "never wanted to hurt her." The punching and brandishing weapons was accidental then? We learn that Mike is ( temporarily) paralyzed. He promises her things will be different now. He'll testify on Steven's behalf; he won't drink; he won't hit her. He loves her! Too late, I say.
Jessica calls Steven and Billie the Girl to let them know that Mike is going to live. I guess her being there did have magical restorative properties or something because five seconds ago he was 50-50. Steven is glad to not be a murderer. I can't really mock that. She then tells him she plans to stay with Mike since she's his "wife" and it's her "duty." Oh what the fuck!? For some reason, Steven doesn't flip out about this and just says he'll support her no matter what she does. Grr.
At the hospital, Jessica thinks about her life with Mike. She realizes she doesn't want to stay with him, really. Not because he was a drunk, abusive, terrible, brother-shooting husband but because he can't walk now. Way to wade into the shallow end of the pool, Jessica. Then she thinks she sees Mike's leg twitch but dismisses it.
Mike wakes up and promises, again, that things are going to change. He asks Jessica if she loves him. She wonders why she can't answer "yes." I can think of two reasons: 1) You're a sociopath and don't have those emotions or 2) Because he hit you and you shouldn't love him. Both equally possible.
Mike, in a rare moment of not being a total dick, sees that she's having trouble and decides, belatedly, that she was too young to get married. He says she has her whole life ahead of her and he should let her go, move on. He tells her, that he's going to get their marriage annulled. (Please compare this behavior with Todd's below. It's weird that Mike's the wife-beater, right?)
Finally, Steven's case comes before the court. He's all happy because Mike said he'd say it was all his fault. But Mike... hasn't. Jessica flips out because she thinks Mike is going to go back on his word. (These alcoholic wife-beaters are so unpredictable.) But he does, eventually, confess that he was the one who pulled the trigger and shot his own self. Then he tells Jessica he loves her and the nurses wheel his crippled ass away. Bye now!
While her sister and brother are dodging bullets, Liz is making out with crazy William White in his apartment. I leave it up to you, dear reader, to decide which is more dangerous. Liz reminds us that William creeps her out, but she's making out with him anyway. Good thinking! He goes to get some liquor and she takes that opportunity to poke through his things because she is the nosiest person that every nosied. She looks at the books on his shelf. One of them doesn't have a title on its spine. So of course she has to take it off the shelf and look at it!
The book is in code. There are only bits that Liz can read one of them is Bryan Nelson's name followed by the date he was attacked (by the racist secret society, someone ought to recap that one.) At that moment, William, naturally, returns and asks her what she is doing. Liz tries to put the book back before he sees, but as she shoves it back onto the shelf, the bookmark comes loose. It has the racist secret society insignia on it which is a broken star. (Note to future racist, secret society leaders: Your insignia should be like hearts and puppies or something to throw people off your trail.)
William tries to play it off like it's not a racist secret society. But Liz already recognizes the insignia from when Tom showed it to her. (The book tells me Tom was in the racist secret society before his life changing accident, something twelve-year-old strangerface clearly repressed. (Twelve-year-old strangerface: It wasn't important. LIZ/TOM 4EVA!)
Since Nina and Bryan were attacked, Liz has been looking for the leader of the secret society. Now she stupidly says outloud "It's you!" Way to alert the crazy person that you're onto him. Not that it matters; she gets away like she always does. Liz has cockroach-ian escape abilities.
Meanwhile, beloved Tom is worried about Liz (and rightly so). He went to her dorm and was told by Celine that Liz was with William. See, Tom figured out last book that William was the leader of the racist secret society (Twelve year old strangerface: He's so smart!! Current strangerface: It's not that hard to be smarter than Liz!), but he hasn't had time to tell Liz yet, because she's busy making out with Willie and all. Also, William had convinced Liz that Tom was leader of the secret society last book. And Liz believed him because she's Liz.
Tom has now decided the answer to his problems is to creepily skulk (Twelve-year old strangerface: It's romantic!! Not creepy!) in the shadows, watching William's apartment. He doesn't even go bang on the door or anything. She could be dead already, for all he knows. Tom, you're not very proactive. If you're going to be Liz's boyfriend, you've got to make with the punching already. Lucky for Tom, Liz soon comes rushing out of the building. She launches herself into his arms and says "It's William!" which Tom already knew, but he's happy to get some hugs.
Celine, meanwhile, spends the evening screwing Peter Wilbourne. She reminds us that she was dating Tom Watts last book, which is something I don't remember at all. (Twelve-year old strangerface: Repress!) Tom would never kiss Celine, probably because I imagine she smells like a mix of cigarettes, nail polish and Old Granny. Then he stood her up for the charity ball to go running after Liz. All this annoys Celine. She wants to make with the smoochy. That's why she's did Peter. She's totally just using him, which is awesome. I kinda love crazy Celine.
Then William shows up wanting to know where Liz is. Celine has no idea. She tries hitting on William, because we all know she's obsessed with him but, like always, he shrugs her off. Then tells her that Liz knows about the secret society, which Celine is involved in too. Of course.
Liz is actually at WSVU with Tom. She thinks about how comfortable it is to be with him (Twelve-year old strangerface: Twu love!). They both know now that William is the leader of the evil, racist secret society. Liz comments what an idiot she is. I'm like, "Uh-huh, yup, knew that several hundred books ago, but do go on." Then, to prove her point, Liz suggest she go back to William's room and steal the book, to provide evidence he's the leader. Tom is like, "Uh, how about no?"
Liz thinks about how gross it was that she was just making out with a crazy, racist cult leader. Tom is concerned; she can't make out what he's thinking. She thinks' about Tom "he had more nooks and crannies to him than anyone she had ever known." DIRTY! She asks him to tell him what's going on in his head and he says he'll tell her but he can't talk at the WSVU offices. I have no idea why this is. Contrivance alert! This is not a drill! Tom brings Liz to his dorm room. He's about to bare his soul to Liz when, his police scanner (I thought only crazy old, hillbillies had police scanners?) announces that Steven has been arrested. Liz has to go spout her platitudes to Jessica.
Celine hears the phone ring. She thinks it's William coming crawling back but it's Jessica calling for Liz. Jessica tells Celine that Mike has been shot and she actually thinks "Ho-hum." Hi-larious! Celine then promptly calls William to tell him of this new development, because she's his crazy sidekick, kind of like Harley Quinn, puddin'! (If William and Celine ever actually dated, they'd be settin' the woods on fire.)
That night, William and Celine sleep together. I'm very upset this happens off page. When she wakes up, he's boring and mooning over Liz again. What is with the guys being obsessed with Liz? Does she have beer flavoried nipples or something? William demands Celine help him convince Liz he is not involved in the racist, secret society. Celine and I think that horse is out of the barn.
After a long night at the prison, Liz arrives at her hall to find Tom waiting for her. Tom had come over to tell Liz his big sob story, but he realizes that now is probably not the time. (Twelve-year-old strangerface: He's sensitive too!)
So Liz goes back to her dorm, where Celine is hanging out in her undies and smokin' (probably figuratively as well). William is there too but he's not in his underwear so that's not as fun. They're both apparently drunk though, so there's that. Liz once again tells William she thinks he's the leader of the racist, secret society. He says Tom is fooling her and that's she's gullible. Liz says she's not (lies!) and she doesn't believe him. Willie gets mad, calls Liz "common" and storms out. Celine is pleased.
Next, we have our token "Liz has a black friend!" moment, when she goes to see Nina Harper. They recap the Steven is arrested plot line. Then Nina innocently asks how William is, not knowing he's the crazy racist who has been trying to kill her. Embarrassed, Liz asks how Bryan is doing. At that moment, Bryan appears. He stayed over! He and Nina were having teh sex!! Liz starts to giggle uncontrollably because she's twelve. (Twelve-year-old strangerface: What's that supposed to mean?!)
Liz then has to go find Tom at WSVU and tell him what happened with William and Celine. There's an awful lot of people telling other people what's going on in this book; it'd be a lot simpler if they just read my recap. Tom thinks that he never trusted William White, even before the accident when he was Patman-esque. We're supposed to be impressed with this. (Twelve-year-old strangerface: WE ARE!!)
Liz goes into cub reporter mode and whips out a notebook. She makes Tom tell her everything he remembers about the racist secret society. He says, one night five dudes in ski masks broke into his room. He was pissed that they'd break into his room and was all "Who do you think you are?", for some reason Tom tells Liz he was arrogant back then. I think breaking and entering might deserve a little "Who do you think you are?" but I digress. The guys took Tom to the beach where more dudes in ski masks and capes were waiting. ("Say repressed homosexuality!")
Tom reveals that the true name of the racist secret society is the Fraternal Order of the Gallows or FOG. This begs the question, when they break into your dorm room, do they come in on litte cat feet? As far as racist secret society names go, I'm not impressed.
After their encounter with Todd, Tom walks Liz back to her dorm. They almost kiss but Celine opens the door and makes fun of them. (Twelve-year-old strangerface: Darnit!; Current strangerface: Haha, Celine is awesome!) The fact that William is in the room with Celine totally kills the mood.
William is enraged. Liz and Tom are freaked. Celine thinks it's awesome, as do I! William and Tom both take one of Liz's arms and Celine thinks "I hope they rip her apart and the stuffing comes out." I say it again: I love Celine. William threatens Liz, trying to scare her off investigating "FOG." Tom and Liz stupidly tell him that they're doing a story and it'll be on TV tomorrow. Be sure to watch! The dumb is really palpable in SVU.
Liz dreams about Tom and his eyes that night (no I'm not kidding, there's lots of focus on his "bottomless" eyes which is supposed to be romantic, not creepifying). When she wakes up, Celine is in the room watching her. Liz thinks this is odd but doesn't do anything about it. Then the door bursts open and Liz is taken from her bed by William. That's what you get for telling crazy leaders of racist secret societies the date and time of when you're going to expose them.
The next morning, Tom is at WSVU wondering where Liz could be. Hmm. I DON'T KNOW! Liz, is once again kidnapped. Seriously, how many times can someone kidnap her? You'd think she'd almost be bored of it now. But, no, she's panicked. She actually asks, "Who are you? Why are you doing this?" Again, I DON'T KNOW! Liz listens and deduces that she is in a car with Celine and William. She's proud of herself for figuring it out, but any one of us could've guessed that without any hints whatsoever.
Liz faints and when she wakes up, she hears a new voice. It's Peter Wilbourne III and he's actually suggesting they take her back. You know crazy William is really crazy when racist Peter Wilbourne thinks he's gone too far. But then that might just be because Liz is white. William tells Liz they are keeping her from making a big mistake by reporting on the secret society. Liz is all, "Hate to burst your bubble, but we taped it already. It wasn't a live story."
Crazy William didn't think of that. He tells Liz if the story airs, he'll kill her. As if she has any control over it! He's tied her up and kidnapped her!
When Liz's report does air, William is enraged, as if she could've stopped it with the power of her brain or something. He starts screaming like, well, a crazy person. Celine tries to make him shut the hell up but he won't because he is a crazy person. Celine doesn't want to kill Elizabeth; she doesn't like Liz but she's not really a murderer. But William says if she doesn't help, they'll kill her too.
The racist secret society (which isn't so secret anymore, I guess), all stand around Liz. They take off her hood and William taunts her. He says he thought she was "a woman of class and honor" but now he realizes she's just like her sister, Jessica, who fell for "that gutter trash McAllery." This is obviously supposed to be lunatic ranting, but then he seems to be the only one calling out Mike for what he is, you know? It's not good that I'm like "Yeah! That's right!" agreeing with the crazy dude.
William plans to kill Liz and make it look like a suicide, which I think probably won't go over since she just outed a secret society on TV. But whatever. Celine doesn't want to be around for the actual killing so she leaves, claiming she needs a cigarette. I didn't know cigarette breaks were allowed in group murders.
Instead she calls Tom at WSVU. She tells Tom that William plans to kill Liz. He tells her to go back into the secret lair and pretend nothing is amiss and that he's coming with the police. I read through their phone conversation three times, looking for the location of the secret lair. Never does Celine tell him; Tom just knows. Why not include that in the report? I don't get it.
The police ask Tom this same question, about how he knows where they are going and Tom is like "I'll tell ya later." You know, if you told someone sooner, this might not have happened. All I'm saying. (Twelve-year-old strangerface: He couldn't have known they'd kidnap her! Current strangerface: Uh...)
It turns out the secret lair is in Sigma House. They, like all good evil fraternities, have a huge pit in their basement. For throwing pledges in! That's... university sanctioned? Anyway, they're going to hang Liz by dropping her from a rope into the pit. Celine is the only one who doesn't think this is a good idea. She wonders wildly how she can save Liz.
Tom, meanwhile, has reached the secret trapdoor that leads to the pit room. He and the police wander through the underground tunnels that lead to the pit (because it's not a good pit without creepy underground tunnels to go with it!). However, when they reach the door leading to the actual pit itself, Tom finds that it is barricaded. He hears Liz scream on the other side.
Liz is actually not going quietly into the night like usual. She claws at Peter Wilbourne and he, being a big baby, lets her go. She shouts at Peter that he doesn't have to listen to William and if he does, he'll go to jail. This gives Peter pause. Probably because there are black people in jail! Annoyed, William decides he's going to kill Liz himself, and he shoves Peter aside.
Tom and the police officers throw themselves at the door, trying to get it to open. (Is it wrong of me to think that if Todd were Liz's boyfriend here, he would've TODD PUNCHed the door and it would've magically fallen away?) Finally, it does open but not because of them. Celine is on the other side; she is letting them in. The police swarm into the secret lair and arrest all the FOG members. Except... Celine realizes that Elizabeth and William are missing. It is so like those crack SV police officers to arrest the lackeys before rescuing the girl they heard screaming earlier.
William is getting away! He has a secret escape route to go with his secret lair/pit and creepy tunnels. Of course he does! It's a matching set! Tom sees a flash of Liz's hair and runs for it. He actually leaps Evel Knievel-style across the pit and grabs William in a head-lock. (Twelve-year old strangerface: See? Tom is awesome. Current strangeface: I'll give you that one!)
Willie tries to fight back, but obviously Tom is a big dude and he's not. He ends up nearly falling into the pit. He hangs on by one "bony" hand, and demands Tom help him up. Tom says, "Give me a single reason why I should?" Ha! William says he doesn't have the guts to let him die; and Tom replies that he will help him up but only because he wants to see William suffer in a prison cell, powerless, for the rest of his life. Which is a good plan, in theory, but this is Sweet Valley. The crazies always get out again.
I should mention, that during this awesome fight between William and Tom, Celine wonders if anyone would come to save her like that. And my response is: "Me?"
Tom has to leave with the police (for contrivance reasons, naturally). Liz makes to go back to her room but is approached by a shadowy figure. She flips out until she realizes it's just Todd. Todd tells Liz that he was a jerk and he loves her and he wants to get back together with her. Again I will direct your attention to how much he and Mike sound alike in these passages (the ghostwriters do not go for the subtle!).
Unlike her sister, Liz doesn't buy Todd's excuses. She tells him she forgives him for being a dick to her in the beginning of the semester but she's glad they broke up. Because it gives them a chance to grow up, move on, live their lives. He asks if this is about Tom, bitterly, and she says he is only part of it. Todd doesn't take this well. He yells at her: "It's not over, Elizabeth! It'll never be over! I don't care what you say! I'm never going to let you go!"
And... it's just really creepy. I mean. Read it again. Stalkerish, right? Even wife-beater Mike let Jessica go. I really don't like Todd in SVU. (Twelve-year-old strangerface: Plus he never leaped pits. He only punched people. How lame is that?)
After a shower, Liz comes back to the room to find Tom. He let himself in since her door is broken and all. Liz is embarrassed because she's in a towel and this always seems to happen to her. I think it's the universe's way of telling her to get nekkid with someone already. She might be less annoying then. Tom, being a college guy and not a prude, thinks it's hilarious.
When she returns clothed, they hug. Liz thinks that Tom is "The man she'd fallen so helplessly in love with. The one she'd dreamed about, wanted with all her heart." (Twelve-year-old strangerface: It's so romantic!!!) Finally, finally, they kiss. Tom quotes the poem he slipped under her door in one of the previous books. Liz is surprised, since William White took credit for it. But really, it was Tom she'd loved all along.
After lots of making out, Tom finally mans up and tells Liz his backstory. He used to be a big football star. His parents were supposed to come see him play one game. Actually, he told them they had to come because it was a big, important game. So they did. They drove from Colorado and, because of bad weather, there was an accident. (This part makes me think of Lilo and Stitch when Lilo says, "It was raining, and they went for a drive.") Tom's entire family died in the crash: his mother, father, sister and brother. He tells her he felt like he killed them. He quit football that day and never played again.
Tom says he wishes his parents could've met Liz, because he loves her. She tells him she loves him too. And that's the end of the book. (Twelve-year-old strangerface: SEE?!?! Romantic! OTP!!!)
Todd is sad as it was recently exposed (by Liz and Tom) that the athletes at SVU were getting special treatment. Now everyone treats him like a leper (Twelve-year old strangerface: That's what you get you, yucky pants!). His slutty girlfriend, Lauren Hill (no relation to the Fugees singer, I presume) is still all over him like white on rice though. Todd doesn't want to have teh sex though; he wants to be emo. Lauren gets pissed and says maybe he shouldn't have broken up with Liz and then she wouldn't have ruined his college basketball career. Todd, because he's dumb, agrees with her. Klassy! Lauren, understandably, leaves.
Then Todd goes to Mark Gathers' place (you'll remember he's doin' it with Enid/Alex). Mark has skipped town and left Todd a note, which I find hilarious for some reason. He thinks he has no one, but then remembers Liz. He decides he wants her back.
Later, Todd has a date with the Dean. The Dean, who doesn't rank a name, tells Todd he's suspended. Todd protests that taking all those bribes and special favors and all wasn't his fault, the school made it seem okay! The Dean is not impressed. He says, "Good day, Mr. Wilkins." So I name him Dean Fez.
Todd goes looking for Liz at her dorm, the library and finally at WSVU. He asks her to help with his case. Liz agrees; I don't know why. Then Tom shows up and Todd chickens out of telling her how he's done with skanky Lauren.
Later Todd takes out an old photo album stuffed with pictures of him and Liz and emos. Lauren shows up and is pissed. She had asked him to get rid of all his Liz pictures, but Todd did not. Lauren calls him a jerk and (again) storms out. I don't think she should've come back in the first place but obviously she has no self-esteem.
Todd gets a call from Dean Fez who tells him the trustees have voted and he's not allowed to play basketball this season, but he can still train with the team and possibly play next year. Mark, however, is thrown off the team for good (because he took actual money and used it to buy himself an Explorer). He decides to go tell Liz the good news but Liz isn't there because she's busy being kidnapped. The door of Celine and Liz's room is actually off its hinges. Todd apparently doesn't think this is odd at all. He walks in and leaves a note on Liz's bed. He leaves a note. A NOTE! We've reached a new level of Todd dumb.
After the news report, Todd thinks he has to go tell Liz how much he loves her. And the door off its hinge still doesn't strike him as odd? Even after seeing her on TV talking about a crazy cult? He just keeps getting dumber as he goes on.
Todd breaks into WSVU thinking Liz is there. She's not. Smooth move, genius! He continues to search for her, but only finds her after all the fun punching is over when she's hugging it out with Tom. Oops.
Alex tries to call Mark. We know, already, from Todd's plotline that Mark has left the building. I guess his girlfriend didn't rate a note like Todd did. Finally she gets Todd to tell her that Mark is gone. Alex feels all alone in the world. She blames Liz for all this. That's right. She blames Liz because her boyfriend took bribes and skipped town. I think she was smarter when she was Enid.
A long while later, Mark finally shows up to talk to Alex. They meet at a diner. The reader already knows that Mark is kicked off the team by now, but Alex does not. He tells her this and also that he's leaving Sweet Valley. His ill-begotten Explorer is packed with all his things. He tells her there is nothing left for him here, which also scores a KLASSY! Those SVU basketball players sure know how to woo a woman. He leaves. We don't miss him. Winston is happy because last book he hooked up with Denise Walters. They just kissed. But now seeing words like "throbbing anticipation" used to describe their kisses, it makes anyone over twelve think Winnie got some action! (Twelve year old strangerface: Ew, gross.) But, actually, it turns out I'm wrong, Winston is just thinking about teh sex. Because he really wants to have it. Danny Wyatt makes fun of him, which I'm glad of because otherwise I'd have to do it.
Winston, Denise, Nina and Bryan all watch Liz's newscast together. The two couples are happy and smoochy until Todd shows up to act as fifth wheel.
Todd's reaction to the report is not "ZOMG! There's a racist secret society! Maybe that's why her door was broken?" but "Liz is hot." I know. I know.
Later, Winston and Denise make out. Winston thinks he's finally going to get some. But Denise is a total tease and tells him to slow down.