SVH Senior Year: Can't Stay Away
Our new year opens with the twins' new year's resolutions. Liz's include “I'll dress more sexily, if I can do it and still wear sneakers,” while Jess's include “I will do my homework unless there is something better to do.” I guess this is supposed to be an introduction to their personalities. But the weird scripty font hurts my eyes so I don't like it. It's throughout the book with other people's essays and diary entries and thoughts. Frowny.
The earthquake has destroyed much of the surrounding area, so new students have to come to Sweet Valley High (hey they can fit. So many died, moved away and/or turned out to be crazy from last year there should be vacancies, right?)
The summary for this book told me that the Wakefields were “homeless” because of the earthquake so I thought this book would be awesome. But it turns out that “homeless” in Sweet Valley means you get to move in with awesome Lila Fowler and her super sweet mansion. (Homeless guy I passed coming home today: Dude, I wish I were that kind of homeless.) Liz, of course, hates the fact that the Fowler staff launders her clothes. What?
Also pissed about the earthquake? New student Conner McDermott. Sweet Valley is too happy for him or somesuch. He wants to wear his raincoat and be emo about everything. He's pissed there's a fountain. Heaven forfend! I wish he and Liz would be upset that their houses were destroyed (RIP split level ranch) or their possessions lost or something I could get on-board with.
Elizabeth is excited to be taking a “difficult” creative writing course. Apparently she's wanted to take this class forever because she's always been interested in writing fiction. If you say so. But Conner is in her class and he mocks her writing skillz. No noes! Liz is naturally petulant for, well, the rest of the book? Her life?
Later Liz is studying in the library (on the second day of school, loser), and she sees Conner is there so she goes over to him to give him a chance to apologize. He mocks her some more. She decides she hates him (“Elizabeth usually reserved that emotion [hate] for Nazis and telemarketers...” And the worst are those Nazi telemarketers!)
For her assignment on “Loss” in creative writing, Liz writes a really terribly short essay comparing Olivia Davidson's death to a shell she had that was smashed. Except most of it is talking about the shell and then there's about one paragraph about Liv. It's... well I'd give it a big fat F.
The teacher makes students trade papers and of course he makes Liz work with Conner (which is pretty awesome of him). Liz reads Conner's essay about how some kid stole his Roger Maris baseball card and he met his best friend, Tia, because of it. Liz thinks it's good but it's not. Seriously, this is embarrassing. For some reason Conner likes Liz's piece too and they bond. They got over the hating really quick, ya'll.
Liz goes to the dance all gussied up Conner's benefit. (Oh, she's broken up again with trusty boyfriend Todd, I should mention. But since I've read SVU and can see the future I know this won't last.) But Conner doesn't go to the dance which kind of makes me like him.
Melissa Fox and her boyfriend, Will Simmons, are from the other school, El Carro. They were going to be captain of the cheerleading squad and football quarterback, but now that they're at Sweet Valley, Jessica and Ken Matthews are in their way. Melissa goes to cheerleading tryouts wearing her “Captain” sweater from her old school.
Jessica, of course, has her eye on a new guy. Guess who it is? It's Will. Oh, I bet you didn't see that one coming. Do you think Melissa and Jessica might, perhaps, come into conflict somehow?
Will has the hots for Jessica too but he is committed to Melissa. There are several vague references to something mysterious that happened to her when she was younger. It's anvilicious.
Jessica gives Will “her” number ostensibly to help him with his classwork. Melissa finds the paper and dials the number as any good stalkergirlfriend would, only to discover it calls Lila Fowler's house.
Will comes to see Jessica and they (very quickly) make out. Then he leaves. It's awkward but Jessica decides they are in love.
Later, Will tells Jess that Ken (who is broken up about Liv's death) has quit the football team and he, Will, is now quarterback. Jess is stoked. She is the cheerleading captain and he is the quarterback. Ment 2 b! Meanwhile, Melissa accosts Lila in the locker room about the phone number. Lila is like whatever, but gives up the fact that she's not the only girl who uses that number. Melissa is goes back to her evil plotting.
Will takes Jessica out on a date--at a place that is 45 minutes away from anything. She doesn't suspect the true reason for this; I would think Jess would be hipper than that.
Lila, however, has figured it all out. She knows Jess likes Will. She knows Melissa is dating Will. And she knows trouble is a'brewin'. But because she's awesome she decides not to tell Jessica about any of it. Call me, Lila!
Conner's friend Tia ruins all the fun by telling Jessica that Will has a girlfriend. At first Jessica is sad but then she cowboys up and decides to take revenge. I get excited, thinking this is the Jessica we know and love! When She confronts Will she just yells at him about what a cheater he is. No pushing in the pool?
Melissa finds out about Will/Jessica and flips. He lies and said they never kissed and she came onto him and blah blah lie cakes. Because she's crazy, she believes him. She starts some scheme to get back at Jessica. Part of which involves making friends with Lila and Amy Sutton then going to the dance (how many dances so SVH have) with Will. Shrug.
So when Jessica shows up at the dance, no one talks to her and the football guys are all making snide comments about how easy she is (Will, the gentleman and love of her life, has commented on how she came onto him to them as well). But he still loves her or whatever?
Elizabeth is now editor-in-chief of the Oracle. Lila wants to be fashion editor, a new position she just made up, so she can put it on her college applications. For some reason everyone thinks a fashion editor is a great idea. But Liz doesn't want Lila to be on the paper so she allows everyone to write sample columns and she'll pick the best one.
Liz does not like Lila. Liz does not like living with Lila. Liz thinks it's smart to anger Lila even though she is living in her house and mooching off her stuff, which, rude much?
Some sophomore named Megan volunteers to let Liz stay at her house which is a bit creepy considering Liz did not know this girl five seconds ago. (Megan always wanted a "sister.")
Lila writes an column about fashion which includes the phrases “Polyester is never okay” and “Shopping is a full-time job.” My love of her? Increases. Still, Liz picks another girl as fashion editor. She says the column is better but I don't necessarily agree. Lila is livid and picks a fight with Liz at the dinner table. After all the Fowlers have done for the Wakefields, even Liz's mother is like “Liz, could you maybe be nicer to Lila?”
Oddly, the Wakefields decide that since Liz and Lila aren't getting along, they should send Liz to live with this Megan person who they have not met. O-kay.
Finally, the night after the dance, she moves in with Megan. But when she's in the shower (of course), her brother comes home and guess who it is? Conner. Haha you're in the shower, Liz.
I should mention that I've never read this entire book before. I got it because I used to run a Harry Potter fanfiction archive and one day a user sumbited a story I liked so I accepted it. My friends told me it was sort of "off" but I didn't see it (in my defense, things were spelled properly and I am predispoed to like anything SVH). Then another friend emailed me to let me know that it was actually plagiarized from this very book! The author turned Conner into Draco Malfoy and Liz into Ginny Weasley. The best part is that these are the scenes set in the creative writing class. Balls of steel! Oh, Harry Potter plagiarists, what will you think of next?
The earthquake has destroyed much of the surrounding area, so new students have to come to Sweet Valley High (hey they can fit. So many died, moved away and/or turned out to be crazy from last year there should be vacancies, right?)
The summary for this book told me that the Wakefields were “homeless” because of the earthquake so I thought this book would be awesome. But it turns out that “homeless” in Sweet Valley means you get to move in with awesome Lila Fowler and her super sweet mansion. (Homeless guy I passed coming home today: Dude, I wish I were that kind of homeless.) Liz, of course, hates the fact that the Fowler staff launders her clothes. What?
Also pissed about the earthquake? New student Conner McDermott. Sweet Valley is too happy for him or somesuch. He wants to wear his raincoat and be emo about everything. He's pissed there's a fountain. Heaven forfend! I wish he and Liz would be upset that their houses were destroyed (RIP split level ranch) or their possessions lost or something I could get on-board with.
Elizabeth is excited to be taking a “difficult” creative writing course. Apparently she's wanted to take this class forever because she's always been interested in writing fiction. If you say so. But Conner is in her class and he mocks her writing skillz. No noes! Liz is naturally petulant for, well, the rest of the book? Her life?
Later Liz is studying in the library (on the second day of school, loser), and she sees Conner is there so she goes over to him to give him a chance to apologize. He mocks her some more. She decides she hates him (“Elizabeth usually reserved that emotion [hate] for Nazis and telemarketers...” And the worst are those Nazi telemarketers!)
For her assignment on “Loss” in creative writing, Liz writes a really terribly short essay comparing Olivia Davidson's death to a shell she had that was smashed. Except most of it is talking about the shell and then there's about one paragraph about Liv. It's... well I'd give it a big fat F.
The teacher makes students trade papers and of course he makes Liz work with Conner (which is pretty awesome of him). Liz reads Conner's essay about how some kid stole his Roger Maris baseball card and he met his best friend, Tia, because of it. Liz thinks it's good but it's not. Seriously, this is embarrassing. For some reason Conner likes Liz's piece too and they bond. They got over the hating really quick, ya'll.
Liz goes to the dance all gussied up Conner's benefit. (Oh, she's broken up again with trusty boyfriend Todd, I should mention. But since I've read SVU and can see the future I know this won't last.) But Conner doesn't go to the dance which kind of makes me like him.
Melissa Fox and her boyfriend, Will Simmons, are from the other school, El Carro. They were going to be captain of the cheerleading squad and football quarterback, but now that they're at Sweet Valley, Jessica and Ken Matthews are in their way. Melissa goes to cheerleading tryouts wearing her “Captain” sweater from her old school.
Jessica, of course, has her eye on a new guy. Guess who it is? It's Will. Oh, I bet you didn't see that one coming. Do you think Melissa and Jessica might, perhaps, come into conflict somehow?
Will has the hots for Jessica too but he is committed to Melissa. There are several vague references to something mysterious that happened to her when she was younger. It's anvilicious.
Jessica gives Will “her” number ostensibly to help him with his classwork. Melissa finds the paper and dials the number as any good stalkergirlfriend would, only to discover it calls Lila Fowler's house.
Will comes to see Jessica and they (very quickly) make out. Then he leaves. It's awkward but Jessica decides they are in love.
Later, Will tells Jess that Ken (who is broken up about Liv's death) has quit the football team and he, Will, is now quarterback. Jess is stoked. She is the cheerleading captain and he is the quarterback. Ment 2 b! Meanwhile, Melissa accosts Lila in the locker room about the phone number. Lila is like whatever, but gives up the fact that she's not the only girl who uses that number. Melissa is goes back to her evil plotting.
Will takes Jessica out on a date--at a place that is 45 minutes away from anything. She doesn't suspect the true reason for this; I would think Jess would be hipper than that.
Lila, however, has figured it all out. She knows Jess likes Will. She knows Melissa is dating Will. And she knows trouble is a'brewin'. But because she's awesome she decides not to tell Jessica about any of it. Call me, Lila!
Conner's friend Tia ruins all the fun by telling Jessica that Will has a girlfriend. At first Jessica is sad but then she cowboys up and decides to take revenge. I get excited, thinking this is the Jessica we know and love! When She confronts Will she just yells at him about what a cheater he is. No pushing in the pool?
Melissa finds out about Will/Jessica and flips. He lies and said they never kissed and she came onto him and blah blah lie cakes. Because she's crazy, she believes him. She starts some scheme to get back at Jessica. Part of which involves making friends with Lila and Amy Sutton then going to the dance (how many dances so SVH have) with Will. Shrug.
So when Jessica shows up at the dance, no one talks to her and the football guys are all making snide comments about how easy she is (Will, the gentleman and love of her life, has commented on how she came onto him to them as well). But he still loves her or whatever?
Elizabeth is now editor-in-chief of the Oracle. Lila wants to be fashion editor, a new position she just made up, so she can put it on her college applications. For some reason everyone thinks a fashion editor is a great idea. But Liz doesn't want Lila to be on the paper so she allows everyone to write sample columns and she'll pick the best one.
Liz does not like Lila. Liz does not like living with Lila. Liz thinks it's smart to anger Lila even though she is living in her house and mooching off her stuff, which, rude much?
Some sophomore named Megan volunteers to let Liz stay at her house which is a bit creepy considering Liz did not know this girl five seconds ago. (Megan always wanted a "sister.")
Lila writes an column about fashion which includes the phrases “Polyester is never okay” and “Shopping is a full-time job.” My love of her? Increases. Still, Liz picks another girl as fashion editor. She says the column is better but I don't necessarily agree. Lila is livid and picks a fight with Liz at the dinner table. After all the Fowlers have done for the Wakefields, even Liz's mother is like “Liz, could you maybe be nicer to Lila?”
Oddly, the Wakefields decide that since Liz and Lila aren't getting along, they should send Liz to live with this Megan person who they have not met. O-kay.
Finally, the night after the dance, she moves in with Megan. But when she's in the shower (of course), her brother comes home and guess who it is? Conner. Haha you're in the shower, Liz.
I should mention that I've never read this entire book before. I got it because I used to run a Harry Potter fanfiction archive and one day a user sumbited a story I liked so I accepted it. My friends told me it was sort of "off" but I didn't see it (in my defense, things were spelled properly and I am predispoed to like anything SVH). Then another friend emailed me to let me know that it was actually plagiarized from this very book! The author turned Conner into Draco Malfoy and Liz into Ginny Weasley. The best part is that these are the scenes set in the creative writing class. Balls of steel! Oh, Harry Potter plagiarists, what will you think of next?