It's been likes, aaaggggeeeesss since I posted a review, but I'm back (I heard that groan of despair from the back row, ahem, shush back there)! I've been v v busy with RL crap, unfortunately (and exposing my soul for the chance of a tote bag; that made me hide in my bedroom for at least an hour, lol). I've picked a SVT book from random from my bookcase that I know hasn't been recapped, so, without further ado:
SECOND BEST!
Yes, this book is very Elizabeth featured. And, speaking of the gorgeous, graceful bodied twin herself, here she is on the cover:
I think she is supposed to look appropriately shocked at the row, but actually if you look closely, which may be hard with that cover image on screen, but on my real one she looks as if something rather disgusting has crawled under her nose and nested there. Which shows us, that actually, this is how Liz really views boy - ick! Anyways, when it says at the top, 'Is the boys' problem too tough for Elizabeth to handle,' what do they really mean, eh.....Elizabeth-you-forgot-the-tissues-yuck? Or, umm, No-Liz-you-hold-the-top-end! I'm confused *smiles innocently.* On with the book, shall we.
The twins get home and apparently start dancing round Alice telling her all about how exciting school is. There's a nationwide essay contest which Liz is sure she will win, the topic being free speech and the top prize is $100, and Jessica has been invited to the party of the year (for this book) being thrown by Kimberly Haver. Oh, and Steven talks about basketball waaaaay too much. So it's all super dooper excitement in Casa Wakefield....except, Jessica is worried that she will absolutely DIE if she doesn't get ungrounded by the time the party rolls round, it's SO NOT FAIR, she's already been grounded for a WEEK and all she did was sneak off with
The Older Boy! Sniff sniff nobody loves poor little Jess! Jess is even more worried that Daddy is home for dinner, as she wanted to plead her case to Mommy only. Tough, tough cookies, little one! Anyways, Jessica's fears are alleviated, as her parents say she can go to the party as long as her grades pick up, as basically, they're crap. If not, it's another two weeks grounding time! Oh Noes! And as St Liz will be entering for this essay contest, of course Jessica looks bad in comparison, especially as Liz's recent report card is great, and Jessica's is not. However, Super Liz saves the day as usual by telling them all about the major school business project which happens to be occuring over the next two weeks, conveniently enough, and how it will make up like, heaps of Jessica's grade. So they agree as long as she does well, no grounding, and she can go par-tay! Liz offers to help, but Jessica turns her down in faavour of the Unicorns - even though Liz points out the teachers will assign the groups. Jess is OK as long as that Dylan McKay isn't involved. Yes, we have our one book character, it's gay Tom McKay's older seventh grade brother, who is a moody git and nobody likes. But they all lurve Tom! Every girl needs a gay best friend after all! So we get a bit of background about how Dyan is not cute, he's grumpy and just bleh!
Jessica makes them late for school the next morning digging through her old clothes, and at school, she tells the Unicorns she has this great idea for their business project - to start up their own boutique. Even Liz is impressed, even though the thinking behind it is really that Jess can dump her old, unwanted clothes off on less-cool kids, and persuade her mom it's for school, and get some new clothes. Actually....not a bad idea. If my mum still bought me clothes that is. Which she doesn't. Damn! Then there's a bit more dissing of Dylan, how the Unicorns don't like him, etc, just to make it clear he is not wanted in anyone's group.
Liz goes to lunch and 'overhears' (snoops on) Tom and Dylan having a row; Tom is trying to persuade Dylan to go to an after school meeting, and Dylan tells him to stop telling him what to do. Tom accuses him of having no friends, which results in Dylan kicking a desk and then refusing to join Tom to lunch. He storms out, ignoring Elizabeth's hello (good lad) and then we have a paragraph from Dylan's POV - pretty girls unnerve him, and she's more interested in his brother anyway. He's used to being the boy everyone forgets (bless) and he gets bullied for being a worse athlete than Tom. 'Whatever Tom touched turned to gold.' Sounds like some healthy bitter sibling rivalry here! He wants to enter the essay contest, but then he gets all emo and thinks that 'what had Dylan McKay ever done that was any good.' Am I supposed to feel sorry for him? Because I don't.
Liz and Amy discuss Dylan and she's all patronisingly sympathetic. Amy calls him a loner, and not as cute as Tom. TOM'S GAY, LADIES! That says a lot for your choice in men! She then says that Tom's essay for the contest is excellent and he's awfully talented, according to Mr Bowman, not noticing Dylan walking right behind her. Dylan's all upset because he was going to show his teacher his essay, but then he decides, " Tom was a winner. Dylan was a loser. That's the way it was, and the way it was always going to be." Umm, yeah!
The 6th and 7th graders go to the hall to be grouped up for the project. Dylan sits alone and mopes about how he won't have any friends in his group because they all want him to be Tom. Lo and behold, he ends up in the same group with Liz, Amy and some other people. However, Mr Bowman calls out 'McKay' and the group cheer for Tom, then boo when they find out it's Dylan. And the teachers don't even punish them! Liz of course feels all sympathetic and sorrowful, and goes to talk to him to be nice (Amy's like, "do you have to be nice to everybody!" Well, if she wasn't you wouldn't have any friends either Amy, so sit on that and be quiet, please). Liz tells Dylan how pleased she is to be working with him. He doesn't believe her, and goes mute. She gives up, to Amy's relief, and Dylan thinks how she was only being nice, he's going to be further humiliated, and how angry he is. Ummm, healthy! They decide (well, Liz suggests and nobody can think of anything to beat it) to produce a book of student writings and sell it. BORING! Who'd want to read a load of 12/13 year old ramblings? Anyways, everyone gets all involved, apart from Dylan, and Liz suspects something is wrong. Give the girl a cookie!
Jess gets grouped with Lila, Ellen, Betsy, Kimberly, Tom and Kerry Glenn. She immediately takes over as leader and suggests the boutique, but Kerry wants to make pot holders. Everyone finally agrees on the boutique idea, and Tom nominates her as president, much to Lila's disgust. They decide to call the business Sweet Valley Vogue, which is Tom's suggestion (and they didn't figure he was gay until high school? He even admits he got it from his mom's fashion magazine.)
More Dylan narrative. Everyone likes Tom, Tom is great, Tom is doing a great job in his group whereas nobody likes him, if it weren't for Tom around people would like him! It sounds like he's plotting murder. At lunch in the packed cafeteria, Tom greets him in all high spirits, talking about his group, and then Dylan notices Tom has accidentally been carrying around his backpack all day. Didn't Dylan notice when he had to take Tom's? Anyway, Dylan snaps, he's that wound up, and throws the backpack around, and then tries to throw Tom around. He falls over onto Liz's table as Dylan punches him. Oh teh drama in these SVT books! Tom gets out the way pretty sharpish and tells Dylan he doesn't want to fight, even though Dylan's being a typical man and going, "go on, hit me! Fight me, darn it! What are you, chicken?" Where are the teachers? At my school, you so much as called someone a rude name and it was detention for a week. Dylan lunges again and gives Tom a nosebleed. Jerry McAllister (yes, Crunchy boy who nearly kills Elizabeth in SVH) separates them, and Dylan runs off. Mr Bowman appears a little too late and Tom says he had an accident. Jerry plans to 'get' Dylan, but Tom refuses. Julie and Amy moan about Dylan being in their group, but Liz says to give him a chance. Yes, and be beaten up yourself?
Everyone talks about the incident the rest of the say, and it gets all blown out of proportion. Dylan is now a near murderer, apparently, and apparently Liz's sweater, which got covered in milkshake, was ruined on purpose by him. Liz's group, including Dylan, get to work on their book. Everyone snubs him and won't talk to him; even Olivia, of
fridge squishing bohemian fame, moves away from him. Liz sighs and asks him to do some typing so he won't be bullied, but he can't do it.It's all messy with spelling mistakes. Does he have dyslexia? Oh no, wait, we have that
character already. After Dylan leaves, Liz bitches to Amy about his work and how he's so disorganised, he's left some of his own papers in with the ones he typed. Amy wants him moved but Elizabeth's anger is already fading - hang on, anger? She's angry at Dylan because he's being picked on and can't type/spell very well. Just what kind of saint is she? So Liz says no, no, his feelings would be hurt (really!) and she'll finish the typing herself. Then she gets subjected to a walk home with Jessica describing all the clothes the Unicorns are donating - revenge!!
At Casa Wakefield, Liz goes through the papers Dylan accidentally forgot, and finds the essay he was going to submit. The first paragraph goes like this:
'Freedom of speech is one of the quiet freedoms that we sometimes forget that we enjoy. Only when it is lost, when books are burned, when newspapers are silenced, when the ordinary person's mind to speak his or her mind without fear is taken away, do we remember what a precious part of our heritage freedom of speech really is.'
I bet he copied that off the Internet. Oh wait, no Internet. I bet he copied that from Tom. Liz realises that Dylan hasn't handed it in, and rings him up to tell him so. Unsurprisingly, Dylan's issues surface and he tells her to throw it away and hangs up. Liz does exactly what we all expect, and posts his essay for him. Because doing this sort of thing has never
caused trouble before.
Meanwhile, Jessica's been having a bit of trouble with being the president of her 'company.' You see, she's appointed vice chairman roles to Lila and Kimberly, but now Tamara and Betsy want roles, too (why, I'm not sure). Turns out, Lila's been making Ellen do all her dirty work because she has an 'executive' position, and Ellen's fed up with it (in a pissy way, she doesn't refuse or stomp off or anything). Tamara starts kicking off because nobody will listen to her ideas, because she isn't an executive.So she makes Tamara VP of Supervision, and then she has to make Charlie and Jerry VPs of construction. Then everybody refuses to do mundane things like poster making, because VPs don't do that stuff. The group is way behind schedule, and Ms. Wyler comes in and bollocks Jessica for not making sure her group does any work. As the twins walk home, Jess gets all upset because Liz's book is nearly complete, and Liz helpfully points out that no good grade= more grounding. Jessica confesses to her parents, and we readers like a new moral as Ned quotes, "you have more chiefs than Indians." Jessica helpfully asks for clarification, and we hear about how, as leader, you are responsible, and she will have to set an example by working hard and making her VPs work hard, too. The next day, Jessica takes the group in hand and sets them to work. They miraculously get everything completed, and Jessica is all happy. She also gets an official invite to Kimberley's party, as does Liz, and we find out that Kimberley invited all the seventh graders, under her mother's insistence (is this mother mad?) and only a select few sixth graders.
Back to Dylan. He's all upset because he is the only seventh grader to not get an invite to the party. He overhears Betsy saying how all the seventh grade was invited, and feels worse. He gets home and finds out that Tom got an invitation. This is the last straw. Dylan is PISSED! He goes inside and his mum asks how he is and then tells him how great Tom's tennis playing is. So what does he decide to do? He runs away. He goes to the bus station and asks for a ticket to L.A. but he doesn't have enough money. He bumps into Jessica, who is there getting a bus timetable for part of her project. He lies and saying he's going to San Francisco to see his aunt, but then he realises Jessica may tell someone she saw her. So he decides to KILL HER! No, he doesn't really, but it would be more interesting than the real ending. All week at school, Dylan ignores everyone, even though Liz drags him to the group meeting to finish the book. The book produced by Liz's group is a big hit, but he doesn't care, even though Tom tells him his writing should be in it. On Friday, he hears about how 'that McKay boy' won the essay contest, and he goes back to the bus station with his allowance.
Liz and Amy crow over how well their book sold (and Amy calls it 'exciting.' No doubt she has reality issues). They go to see how Jessica's booth is doing, but find it almost empty, with only Jess guarding it. Turns out, when the Unicorns put all their unwanted clothes out to sell, they all found out they liked each others' stuff, and so traded it all and had nothing left really to sell. Liz points out, no clothes, no inventory, no sales, no profit, no grade, grounding. Jess' brain clocks and she puts all the traded stuff out to sell. Lila will NOT be impressed. Then she rushes off and demotes all her VPs, and finally sells all the items. Go Jess! She gets an A- for the project.
At lunch, Liz hears about how DYLAN won the essay contest (betcha all weren't expecting that). Liz decides to go apologise to him and congratulate him but he's nowhere to be found. She asks Jess and Kimberly if they've seen him, and Kimberly admits she didn't invite him to the party (Liz gets all stern with Kimberly here. It's quite amusing. Kimberly gets all apologetic and gives Liz his invitation.)Coupled with the fact Jess says she saw him at the bus station last week, Liz asks Tom about visiting an aunt in San Fransisco and finds out its a lie. Oh Noes! They run to the bus station and find Dylan sitting forlornly waiting for his bus. Tom gets angry and kind of tells him he wants to knock his block off (LOL) but then Dylan realises that Tom actually cares about his own brother and Liz gives him the invitation from Kimberly to go to her party. Dylan realises that people like Tom because he's easy going and doesn't sulk every time someone talks to him. Dylan has an instant personality transplant, and says he will try harder, especially when he learns he is the winner of the essay content (and he forgives Elizabeth for posting it. Good of him.) They go to the party where everyone is all over him because he won the essay content, and we never hear about him again. Or do we? Can anyone tell me? The books lead in to the #17:
Boys Against Girls, one of my all time favourites :-)! I don't know if I said it at the time, but great recap,
nellswell The End!