it's almost Christmas...

I walked in wearing a Santa hat and a crooked smile. Twenty minutes later, I walked out with my hoodie up and in tears; my Santa hat stuffed into my purse.

I hate the life I'm living- if you can even call it that. "It's only been 2 weeks." Actually, it's almost been 2 years.

I give up. You win. I don't know what else to do ( Read more... )

I love it when I put up my Chlo-a-tee picture as my MySpace default, and get spam messages from guys telling me this:


( Read more... )

Am I the only person who thinks Tila Tequila looks like an old Vietnamese prostitute who's been working day and night for the past 25 years only to get locked out of house and left out in the sun for the past 10?

If I were to compare her to someone of substance, she'd be the long lost twin to the prunish old lady from There's Somethng About Mary ( ( Read more... )

RE: "I'm not racist but its true"

-If we had WET(white entertainment television) ...we'd be racist.

First of all, if you had a TV channel called WET, racism wouldn’t be the issue, plus  it’d probably get cancelled due to false advertising . (“A channel called WET with no wet t-shirt contests? Where are the titties?  This show blows.”)

Secondly, it ( Read more... )

A friend of mine from high school just had the ugliest baby ever.

( Read more... )

I cannot stop laughing at my new

( Read more... )

All I ever wanted was symmetry. Yet due to “priorities”, the Lonnie Quinn of the future says that’s not going to be part of my six-month forecast. I should use this time wisely and think of better excuses for when kids approach me at work and ask, “What happened to your face?”
Maybe a good horrifying when-I-was-in-’Nam story. “…and well kiddo, it ( Read more... )

( Son of a son of a bitch )