your mom is a fertilized egg!
All I ever wanted was symmetry. Yet due to “priorities”, the Lonnie Quinn of the future says that’s not going to be part of my six-month forecast. I should use this time wisely and think of better excuses for when kids approach me at work and ask, “What happened to your face?”
Maybe a good horrifying when-I-was-in-’Nam story. “…and well kiddo, it was either this or lose my legs like Lt. Dan.”
“oh….”
* * *
How can I take him seriously when he shares the same name with Bret Michaels? (minus the Michaels)
Two women came into Target asking if Damian was working. I couldn’t really understand them and was like, “Digimon? Aisle C1”
It’s so obvious that I like him. It’s embarrassing. But it’s not I-wish-I-could-just-die-embarrassing as it is I’m-such-an-ass-embarrassing. Yes, there is a difference.
He sat next to me after we closed the other night and I had to ask myself, how do I exhale now without making it appear that I’ve been holding my breath for the past 30 seconds? and then suddenly -
“Chloe, did you just feel that huge brush of hot air?”
“what?”
“It was coming from your direction.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about Damian."
* * *
Anyway, i found him on MySpace. gay and married? By “wife” did he mean “husband”? Come to think of it, he never mentioned his wife as much as he did his in-laws. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my entire life.
To my dark blue polo shirt with the little pink whale emblem that I accidentally ruined with bleach: I’ve always been in love with you I guess you’ve always known it’s true You took my love for granted why? Oh why? This show is over. Say goodbye…
I will miss you forever. You were my favorite shirt.