December 2nd

I know it's natural and human and all that, but I hate saying it anyway because I'm not a goddamn bro and I really do just want love more than anything else... but I am furiously sexually frustrated lately. I wish there were anything I could do about it, but I live an isolated life, I'm not on social media, I'm ugly, I don't think I ( Read more... )

November 3rdI'm feeling really sick today with a sore throat and super stuffy nose. I hope it's coronavirus contracted by handling cash every day and never washing my hands. I'm really lonely right now ( Read more... )

October 1stI am so full of bitter rage and anger tonight. Human beings genuinely make me feel nauseated. Lately I've been thinking about maybe starting small fires or just setting things on the street aflame to help get some of this out of me ( Read more... )

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Note: These entries are not written with the intention of slandering or canceling anyone. This is what I do, and what I've done since 2002: write about everything in graphic detail, the good and the bad. These things happened, to me, and I wrote all of this with only the goal of articulating the story and my feelings to the best of my abilities ( Read more... )

Sunday, January 10th

The bus dropped me off at a gas station right off I-40 outside of tiny Statesville. To one side, just ramps; to the other, a couple houses. Next door was an old diner. I stood around as the chilly breeze pushed against me and waited for Jess's mother, Dawn, to come and pick me up.

The first time I saw Dawn, Matt and I were ( Read more... )

Friday, January 1st

My last day in Schenectady for the next two months was spent with Matt. We went out to eat dinner at Jasmine Thai and then went out with my brother and Kayla to see a digital projection of Hateful Eight, a film I could and would see on the big screen multiple times. That night, we both stopped by the house where the girl I had ( Read more... )

During the month that I lived with my brother, I was checking Craigslist at least twice a day, desperately trying to find a place to live. I was exhausted and yearned for something stable, long-term, and comfortable. Traveling didn't seem like an option because I felt incapable of doing it all by myself. I felt so drained that I became resigned to ( Read more... )

"Since we like the same sorts of images, chances are I was Googling something, found an image, and went to the source page, which was uglyuglyugly. I just remember thinking how nuts it was that your whole everything was my whole everything, and I'd spend hours pouring over your stuff. I so badly wanted to talk to you. I actually remember seeing a ( Read more... )

Friday, December 19thNuggets for breakfast. An unnecessary trip to TCBY. A drive to Albany, partly thanks to how altruistic Matt is and partly due to how bored he was. I hung out with Dana, her boyfriend, and their cat, Freakshow, at their house that day, talking about nothing, me being forced to share my horror stories with them, and watching ( Read more... )