One day, someone is there. The next, they are not. It doesn't matter what you did or did not do, the truth doesn't make any difference. People are scary and life is chaos. The only reason you don't kill yourself is lack of confidence that you'll be able to pull it off. You've already read that your suicide would just be more abuse being perpetrated ( Read more... )

I wound up spending two nights there with Jess. We had sex again and watched TV shows on Netflix. I tried to cum and laugh at things even though it was so hard to remain present and to find anything at all funny or pleasurable. We ate burritos she made us in her chaotic kitchen and I brought her to a doctor's appointment for her back. She was still ( Read more... )

DAY SIXTY-TWO
Tuesday, April 7thI slept well being back outdoors. The camper provided a perfect balance between sleeping outside like I used to while hitchhiking and homeless, and being protected in a safe and reliable shelter to call my own, amounting to the best sleep I’d ever had. But when I woke up, I had to take a shit. I’d only ever shit ( Read more... )

DAY FIFTY-EIGHT
Friday, April 3rdWe took a day off of DoorDash deliveries and hotel isolation to go exploring together. We both needed it. The feelings of insignificance I’d always feared while doing all I could to avoid “work” were confirmed and really catching up to me, and I needed some quality time with Alyssa having fun instead of being a ( Read more... )

DAY THIRTY-EIGHT
Saturday, March 14thThe next day was even sunnier and hotter as we headed just a tad bit further south toward state route 41 where the day’s plan was to drive through the Everglades, avoiding the interstate and state parks that charged $30 just for entry into nature. The first thing Alyssa and I did was stop at one of the many ( Read more... )

DAY THIRTY-SIX
Thursday, March 12thIt was a little sad shutting down our campsite. We were both prepared and eager to stay there forever, we thought. But we were also both ready and excited for a four-day vacation from our full-time vacation. We stopped at the nearby RaceTrac for gas, iced water, and teeth-brushing and, avoiding highways, started ( Read more... )

DAY TWENTY-FOUR
Saturday, February 29thWe woke up to a neighbor of ours, an older woman named Christy, knocking on our door. She wanted to give us a brand new Brita water dispenser that she decided she didn’t need. It was really sweet of her. We would later wind up donating it to a Goodwill because we decided we didn't want or need it, either. The ( Read more... )

DAY THIRTEEN
Tuesday, February 18th

After leaving Concord, we made a stop in Waxhaw about 45 minutes away to the Museum of the Alphabet, a small but exhaustive chronological journey through the origins, history, and evolution of alphabets all around the world. While partly a front for evangelism and colonialist missionary work seeking to inspire ( Read more... )

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