WOW  the passed few weeks have just beaten me up.  I hadn't realized the intensity of it - like most things when you're neck deep you are too busy trying to keep your head up to notice anything else.

I have waded through a fairly heavy depression to come out just feeling frustrated sprinkled with a nice crust of pissed off.    When I am struggling I ( Read more... )

Tug and I are off to Trinidad tomorrow - its the first run of antelope season. We'll be there about 15 days give or take, home for a week and then back for another 15-17. This schedule will continue thru the first week of November ( Read more... )

I was getting rather stressed about the JDC project.  There has been a lot of press about how fabulous I am and how I will personally solve all of the county commissioners problems regarding juvenile justice planning.
uh,  hold the phone.

I got a copy of my contract back from the county attorney on Friday and all was well EXCEPT for they had bumped ( Read more... )

I kept my appointment yesterday.  Since it wasn't until 3pm, I had all day to ponder how I would answer the anticipated "Why are you here today?"   Seems that no matter what response I considered, it was a circular thought pattern that brought me back to pretty much the same place.  So, that's what I told him.

It was startling as he was asking me ( Read more... )

I have slipped on the ice twice in the last several days.  Once I smacked my head on one of the olive trees out back, this morning, just ziiiip-boom.   Nothing like
( Read more... )

I awoke from a dream last night that i thought was very poignant.  I lived in a place, not where I am now nor have I ever seen this home.  But, in essence,  two nameless faceless men took EVERYthing I had.  Our truck, my stock trailer and animals.  They kept returning with the truck and trailer to take more stuff.  They had some sort of device that ( Read more... )

jeez, for a fairly stable and predictable adult, i am discovering i have all sorts of weird thinking on an unconscious level.  i would hardly call myself 'bizarre', i'm pretty much what-you-see-is-what-you-get.  but this recent epiphany has got me wondering wtf?

it seems tom has been gone *forever* - such is the hunting season.  it starts with elk ( Read more... )

Excerpts from Living Creatively With Chronic Illness, Wheeler & Lombard

"The progress of your chronic illness is not orderly, structured, or conducted by following a set of instructions.  There is uncertainty, unpredictability, and ambiguity.  Again and again, you can go into remission, reach a plateau where reasonable stability can be anticipated ( Read more... )

Tom is back in Michigan with his brother for 10 days.  They are hunting and working on Dave's cabin.  They haven't had much time together that hasn't been crisis-centered.  It will be good for them both ( Read more... )

We were fortunate to see Elton John in concert last night.  I wasn't really too ramped up about it, because I have many memories of him from my young years.  Close as I can figure, I've been a fan since I was about 12.  That's 40 years.  WOW.  He was there for me with his music when life was very unstable.  It's amazing how music can fill a void.  ( Read more... )