I'm a little afraid I'm not creative enough, somehow.  I mean, I'm brilliant at derivative works, and interpretations, and twists on themes, and deconstruction, and amalgamation, and simplifying difficult things, and... all these crazy skills I have, and have demonstrated, so I can safely say it's about what I've done and not what I think I might ( Read more... )

I keep coming back to this mental block, where I don't feel quite ready to start preparing for law school applications yet, but I also feel like between my potentially going back to school, and Fabulous Husband potentially getting a job that could mean having to move out of the immediate area we're in, anything I could do in the meantime is just ( Read more... )

... because I feel remarkably better balanced after working through this stuff, and with the process ahead.  I think it's the doing something about it.  I get into a pattern of just moving forward one step at a time... and that's fine, but I think sometimes the baby steps become so habitual and reflexive that it's worth stepping back and making ( Read more... )

I am jealous of being able to be straightforward without being called a bitch. 
Of being able to meet someone's eyes without worrying about whether you're being too aggressive or too coy. 
Of being able to be extremely confident, long before people start accusing you of arrogance.
Of being able to assume credit for things you do well, rather than ( Read more... )

Hm.  A bit, I just feel guilty for being alive and well.  Some of that is survivor guilt, depression, ptsd, my sordid history, and/or values-based.

But it is definitely holding me back from striving for even more and better.

Who would have thought a simple realization could be so enervating?

Last Post for today, so far ( Read more... )

Because I'm really good at those.  But while I know basically what I want to do now, I'm going to go ahead and put the formalization of goals off until later (if at all), for two reasons ( Read more... )

Related to my previous post about FutureSelf and Legacy Projects, and also related to some thinking I was doing today while unpacking my recently-moved office and listening to various online speechifyers, to the extent I thought the content was close enough to my job description to pass casual muster ( Read more... )

Noooo...  I was sick all last week, plus I had to work until 10pm on Monday, and this weekend was mayhem, so now my sleep schedule is totally screwed up.  Argh.  Arrrrrgh.

Something I've been meaning to get to since it popped up in the context of this conversation, and looking particularly at Jacque's comments about:

• "applying Steve Barnes's idea ( Read more... )