... because I feel remarkably better balanced after working through this stuff, and with the process ahead.  I think it's the doing something about it.  I get into a pattern of just moving forward one step at a time... and that's fine, but I think sometimes the baby steps become so habitual and reflexive that it's worth stepping back and making ( Read more... )

Hm.  A bit, I just feel guilty for being alive and well.  Some of that is survivor guilt, depression, ptsd, my sordid history, and/or values-based.

But it is definitely holding me back from striving for even more and better.

Who would have thought a simple realization could be so enervating?

Just taking four months off from work (the longest vacation I've had since before I stopped being a student), it's been really interesting to go back to work and see how different it feels now that I'm no longer used to it.  I don't think I can blame the baby -- Yes, my entire framework for dealing with myself and my body has changed, but it's more ( Read more... )