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what now
I started over. I typed it out and started over.
I am starting over again. I am 40 and starting over once again. This time its with 2 kids and trying to make the best choices for our family. I needed a place to think out loud. so back to the old LJ. I don't even know what to say. Doubt.... When I probably should just trust my judgement.
Ive ( Read more... ) -
Wishes and memories
Its been 20 years since i graduated from highschool. What... 20? Mercy. I started thinking about old times and it feels like yesterday. My heart still feels 18. I would gladly repeat those days ( Read more... ) -
I have weird dreams but this takes the cake
We were in this old west scene and someone randomly got married at the town meeting. We all... most of us stood to say the our father and the pledge if allegiance in agreement with their marriage. But it really was just a venue and a real wedding but none of us knew they were getting married til that day ( Read more... ) -
Dream: All I remember is tornados.... lots of them
This is pretty accurate. All of these are probably true ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I've been so angry and bitter lately. Its Not like me. It is causing issues for me primarily in my marriage but that was a big part of why i am making a big change in my job. I need something new and positive in my life. Something to focus on and help distract me from the negativity. This is me being honest amd saying it out loud.... its okay to ( Read more... ) -
Doubt does creep in
When doubt creeps in, i must rememeber that i was chosen to be their mother. It was not by accident. I must treasure them and do my best. It is by far the best job I was ever gifted. They are precious beyond measure!
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Hiding in plain sight
Working nightshift in the hospital can be crazy. There are a few places i love to go when it gets late and i have a moment to breathe ( Read more... ) -
Same stuff different day
Begining to realize that my old demons carry with me and probably will forever. Its not as scary as I make that sound but it is true. The question is can i keep them at bay and if not how long will it be ( Read more... ) -
Dreamt about my grandma... now I'm confused
I had this dream a few nights ago... that my grandma who passed away 6 years ago, was in a coffin and she sat up to talk to me. She was confused which made sense because she had Alzheimer's. So was I which didn't make much sense except that I never saw her in a coffin in real life. There were scratch marks on the coffin like she had been trying to ( Read more... ) -
Get my ass off the couch
Made an effort to do some exercising yesterday. Video workout, Xbox UFC fighter, and such. I was wonder and tired. I decided I need to make a better example of myself for my kiddo. Today we went for a "hike" through the woods at raven rock park. We are both beat.