Same stuff different day
Begining to realize that my old demons carry with me and probably will forever. Its not as scary as I make that sound but it is true. The question is can i keep them at bay and if not how long will it be.
Addictions have all sorts of colors and flavors. But they are all very real addictions. Some are safer than others. Some are easier to hide.
Not sure I feel like totally disclosing my flavor of choice here but it is certainly a battle. It doesnt appear to harm me from the outside looking in. Infact I probably look happier and healthier than I have been in ages. Which is why it is so hard to fight....
That being said.... slight deviation in topic.
I've been meaning to write about my dreams again. Most definately had a dream where I spent time with old friends and kissed them goodbye. I awoke feeling rejuvenated. I knew i would see them again. It was more of a hello than a goodbye. I was so fond of my old friend and though this was goodbye i knew he would be back and it gave me hope. Even as I write this I know how true and dangerous that is.
Now we sit and wait. How much do i toe the line. Am i really ready to fight this battle? Can i handle this again? Do i want to fight it at all or do i want to embrace my old friend again... maybe just one more time.
Addictions have all sorts of colors and flavors. But they are all very real addictions. Some are safer than others. Some are easier to hide.
Not sure I feel like totally disclosing my flavor of choice here but it is certainly a battle. It doesnt appear to harm me from the outside looking in. Infact I probably look happier and healthier than I have been in ages. Which is why it is so hard to fight....
That being said.... slight deviation in topic.
I've been meaning to write about my dreams again. Most definately had a dream where I spent time with old friends and kissed them goodbye. I awoke feeling rejuvenated. I knew i would see them again. It was more of a hello than a goodbye. I was so fond of my old friend and though this was goodbye i knew he would be back and it gave me hope. Even as I write this I know how true and dangerous that is.
Now we sit and wait. How much do i toe the line. Am i really ready to fight this battle? Can i handle this again? Do i want to fight it at all or do i want to embrace my old friend again... maybe just one more time.