No matter how much I wish it otherwise, sometimes the ghosts won’t go away. I have accepted that they are like relatives you don’t especially like coming for a short visit. You learn to tolerate them, but don’t extend any extra hospitality in the hope that they will shorten their stay and move on. But like the laundry, they just don’t seem to ever ( Read more... )

This month’s MAsT topic was on Ethical Mastery/Ethical slavery. I did not attend due to my work week and the fact that I needed to take a day of rest to enjoy sun-kissed skin surrounded by the beauty and serenity of the Desert Botanical Gardens in full bloom followed by a long afternoon nap.
However, this topic is one that I have pondered for a long ( Read more... )

Yesterday at the height of my self-pity and in the midst of seeking a way to distract myself from the feeling of being completely alone I receive two emails from Ms. Rhonda as tasks to complete for IMsL (International Ms. Leather).  I already love the variety of the tasks and am so looking forward to utilizing my administrative skills and ( Read more... )

It Felt Love

How
Did the rose
Ever open its heart

And give to this world
All its
Beauty?

It felt the encouragement of light
Against its Being,

Otherwise,
We all remain

Too

Frightened.

-Hafiz

This weekend at SouthWest Leather Conference I was blessed with the gift of connection and beauty with a mentor and teacher whose own spirit is that of Kali.  In watching ( Read more... )

Last night I walked a labyrinth for the first time in three years.  The Moon was shining bright and full.  The clouds of the night sky danced with the Moon in an interplay of light and shadow.  I found myself called to sing out to the Goddess the many songs and chants I have enjoyed.  I also felt the loss of my womyn friends  who gather to ( Read more... )

My life has been topsy turvy these past five weeks.  Suffice it to say that I have been confronting the discordance between being authentic and living my life dictated by my ego.

It came to a head about three months ago when I engaged in a cathartic flogging/beating session.  During that session I discovered I held an unconscious resentment ( Read more... )

In the previous entry I discussed what I am seeking in a Master - and it was pointed out that I failed to address what I had to offer in return and what exactly differentiated my list of "wants" in a D/s type of relationship from that of a power-exchange M/s relationship.  Excellent questions.

( More questions; some answers... )

Wow - another amazing past few days with lots of stuff to process.  I am not sure that I like this pattern of drought followed by deluge - but perhaps that is why I am called to the desert with its dry washes that overflow and surge during brief episodes of drenching rain.  I am definitely finding myself in a state of immense and enormous desire ( Read more... )

Today I was presented with an interesting proposal. It is a slightly modified version of the 12-steps with an emphasis on the spiritual journey of slavery. I am intrigued...

1) We admitted we were powerless over others - that our lives had become uncomfortable and/or unmanageable.
2) We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could ( Read more... )

Today was an emotional one for me.  I was texted a question about what the space between my ears was like today, and I had to admit that it was messy and leaking through my eyes.  The catharsis from the weekend continues, only now it is about feeling the full gammit of emotions - and today's emotion was sadness and mourning.

( Convoluted thoughts )