Beachy_Geek: “Prelude” (Jack/Ten) [PG]
Title: Prelude
Author: Beachy_Geek
Prompt used: Make room for a new anxiety
Rating: PG
Pairing: Jack/Ten
Spoilers/Warnings: None unless you haven't seen Gridlock
Disclaimer: The BBC owns the Whoniverse. I just play with the cool people sometimes.
Summary: How do you face an infinite future? And this makes BINGO!
“Talk to me.” The Doctor leaned back against the sea wall at Septia Mar, hands shoved in the pockets of his great coat, and watched his companion closely. Captain Jack Harkness had been uncharacteristically quiet for days, his usual jovial demeanor muted. He now stood silently looking out at the phosphorescent swells as they crashed upon the ice columns which marked the break line. “Come on Jack. Something’s wrong, what is it?”
“Nothing. I’m great, Doc, really.” Jack continued gazing out at the sea, but the Doctor was having none of it.
“Something happened when we refueled in Cardiff. The second day in, you went out on your own and when you came back you were different. You hardly speak to me, and when you do it’s an effort. We haven’t…we haven’t been close. I want to know what’s going on.” Jack turned and sidled up next to the Doctor. He studied the gem-flecked cobblestones lining the embankment for a moment before he spoke.
“I went to Spinelli’s. Family business, great people. Old Tony’s a master at leather work, shoes, belts, anything you want. I’ve gone to him for years. Last time we were home I ordered a new pair of gloves.” Jack held out his hands to the Doctor. “I picked these up the other day.”
“They’re nice. Very nice, yeah.” The Doctor raised an eyebrow quizzically. “Don’t you like them?” Jack grimaced and tugged them off without effort. He pulled a face as he stuffed them into his pockets.
“They’re too big. Except they aren’t. They’re perfectly made, custom made, to the molds he’s used for years. Molds of my hands, precise to the millimeter. And they’re too big. Oh, just a few millimeters in the finger width, half a centimeter in length.”
“But that’s not-“
“I like my gloves snug. Carrying weapons, picking locks, twisting dials, they need to fit like a glove, and they don’t. And they don’t because my hands are smaller than they used to be.”
The Doctor smiled gently. “Well, Jack. People change. You get older, less collagen, less sub-dermal fat, dehydration in the dermis. It happens.”
“Not to me!” Jack looked away, at the clusters of people down the embankment gathering around the market stalls. He turned back and the Doctor thought he saw a hint of fear in his eyes. Jack took a deep breath before continuing.
“It’s not just my hands. I’m buying shoes a half size smaller. Damn it, Doctor, when’s the last time you saw me wear my RAF cap?”
The Doctor shrugged. “I suppose it’s been awhile.”
“That’s because the band is too tight. It fit perfectly for how many years? And now it doesn’t. You’ve got a brain like a computer, Doctor, can you honestly tell me you haven’t noticed anything?” Jack looked expectantly at the Doctor, jaw set. He would not accept anything less than the truth and the Doctor knew he deserved an honest answer.
“The circumference of your cranium is 2.31 centimeters larger than it was on the day we met.” He watched the Captain’s face begin to crumple and reached out to grasp him by the arms. “But that doesn’t mean anything, Jack! It’s just simple variations in genetic reconfiguration! You can’t expect that every time you die you’ll come back as an exact duplicate! There must be subtle differences in amino acid sequencing, basepairs and RNA--" Jack broke free and backed away a few steps.
“I saw you change!” He noted the confused expression on the Time Lord’s face. “On the Valiant. When the Master aged you. I saw it.”
“Well, of course you did. Everyone on the flight deck did. The cameras were still rolling, Jack, everyone on Earth saw it happen!”
“That’s not what I meant!” He leaned against the sea wall and studied the cobbles again. “I mean the second time. The Master set up a monitor by my cage so I could see it. He knew it would-” Jack paused for another deep breath. “He knew it would hurt me.” The Doctor reached out a hand and began rubbing slow circles on the Captain’s shoulder.
“Oh I’m sorry. I wondered why you didn’t seem surprised when they brought you in at the end.”
“Yeah. See, the thing is Doctor you were aged nine hundred years. And you became this little thing, this little homunculus but you were only nine hundred years old. I’m older than that, in linear time, hell I was buried for most of it. And in that time I’ve died how many times? Five thousand? Ten thousand?”
“I suppose, yes. But look at you, you’ve hardly aged, not really. It’ll be a long time before you’ve got more than a few gray hairs.”
“I’m not just aging, Doctor, I’m changing! Think of it, think of all the shit I’ve been exposed to! Hell, just this year, the 456 gas, the radiation chamber. How much was that again?”
The Doctor winced at the memory of Jack writhing in that chamber, saving Wilf’s life as well as his own. “It was five hundred thousand rads.”
“Right. And all of that, all of the radiation, and chemicals, and God knows what other kind of alien crap I’ve been exposed to, it’s changing me. Little by little.”
“It’s millimeters. Centimeters at most, Jack. It’s disconcerting, I know, but-” Jack whirled on him at that. The Captain’s eyes darkened with anger.
“Disconcerting? That’s after a thousand years, Doctor. Just one thousand years. What will I be after ten thousand? Ten million? A billion? What will I be then? Some hideous thing? You must know, you must have seen me in the future, and don’t give me that shit about spoilers and timelines. Tell me! ”
Jack’s face twisted with emotion and his eyes were wet with unshed tears. The Doctor felt a chill clutch his hearts as he thought of Jack mutating, watching himself change inexorably into a giant misshapen head condemned to spend his existence in a gas-filled jar.
“You are changing, Jack. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen you in the future, far into the future, and you’re right. There will be more changes.” The Doctor stepped forward and enfolded Jack into his arms. The Captain wept quietly as they held each other for a long moment. He pulled back and raised a hand to wipe away the tears.
“Doctor. I need you to tell me. And I need you to tell me the truth. Tell me what I become. How bad is it?”
The Doctor looked at Jack and saw the handsome Captain, the dashing hero that he loved. But he also remembered another hero, the last of his kind, who exiled himself with only a disgraced novice for company on a dead world in order to save those living under it. A hero who gave the last of himself to save so many. Tears filled his eyes. He reached out his hands and cupped Jack’s face, feeling the tears begin to fall even as he managed a gentle smile.
“Jack. Oh, Jack, you are so beautiful. You are so beautiful to me now. But you will become so much more than you ever dreamed, Jack. You will be magnificent. You will be glorious.”
Jack looked into the Doctor’s eyes and saw only truth there, and love. That was all he needed to face an uncertain future.