im goin through a rough time, yet again. first off, my grandma and mom are fighting once again and ive been put in the middle as mediator and relayer of messages. im tired of it. its too much stress. im only 19!! i dont need this! and im constantly worrying about my mom cuz now that she doesnt have a job anymore, she'll constantly be drinking ( Read more... )

well i achieved my goal: i royally pissed him off! and sadly, that makes me extremely happy. actually, im just downright giddy! haha ( Read more... )

justin sent me a message on myspace today....after a month of not speaking. and he's been online several times since then and now he decides to leave a message?! what is he thinking, that he's gonna get some?! that im just gonna forgive him?! how dumb is he?! i cant believe the nerve ( Read more... )

im at work right now and i just felt like writing. i really love my job. i dont know how i ever imagined being anything else. ive never been so happy. i cant wait to see Kris this summer. i really cant wait to move up to St. Louis next August to be near him. im just so happy right now in my life. and truthfully i think it has to do with the ( Read more... )

well tonight, guess who showed their face at the bell? Cami. i saw her come in and we locked eyes for a second. i looked away and then i looked back to make sure it was her cuz when i first saw her, rage didnt shoot through me so i had to make sure it was her. so i looked again and i felt absolutely nothing. i really dont give a shit anymore ( Read more... )

have you ever just instantly connected with someone? cuz i just did!! of course, it was kris! we've been talking since last august or september. we've talked more and more since then, with some lulls in between. but here in the past month, we talk almost every single day. we have so much in common its unbelievable!! but we've only talked on ( Read more... )

im still awake, yes. its 1:30 in the morning and im still goin on 6 hours of sleep. plus, i have to be at work in 5 and a half hours. my eyes are burning and im exhausted beyond belief. my body is so ready to just collapse but my mind and thoughts just wont stop! i cant seem to stop thinking! and of course, all i can think about is justin and ( Read more... )

i miss justin so much...sometimes i wonder if i did the right thing, but that feeling doesnt last for very long. i know i did the right thing, we agreed on that. its just so hard. it feels like im going through detox. i just have to make it through these first couple of days and then it will all be better. i know ill have good days and bad ( Read more... )

its over. he just left. it was so hard. i still love him soooo much. but it just wasnt working. as i mentioned earlier. anyways, it was pretty much a mutual separation. we both knew it was coming but we were both avoiding the inevitable. we are still going to prom together and we are still gonna be friends. i know everybody says that, but ( Read more... )

i was thinking about all of this shit yesterday on my day off from the world. i woke up and didnt do shit all day. i just sat there and thought about anything and everything. i thought i knew what i had to do but i still wasnt sure until i went over to rachel's at 11:30. she was talkin to wigs but it felt like she was talkin to me. she was ( Read more... )