hiding things
The u.s. media is all abuzz over this Larry Craig thing. There are a few things that struck me as i watched the coverage of this:
1. Nobody is saying "you're gay, so you can't be senator anymore!" that's what the echo chamber inside your head sounds like, senator. what everyone is saying is "you tried to have anonymous sex in a public bathroom, so we don't want you to be senator anymore!" it's your own internalized homophobia that has turned this into a gay thing.
2. Tea rooming (sex in the loo) is so 20th century. As people continually keep getting caught for this, i have to wonder, have these people NEVER heard of the internet? i mean, jeez. People are going to recognize you or they aren't, regardless of where you meet them for sex, why not do it somewhere you won't get caught by the authorities. Despite people like Craig's best efforts, gay sex isn't a crime in America anymore, as long as u do it in private! Even if you want to hook up some layover sex, (and trust me, i have friends that have done just this thing!) try Craigslist. OH THE IRONY!
3. Powerful people are always going to catch more attention when they fuck up. I understand why people like my baby daddy Owen Wilson feel the crushing pressure to always be perfect. People have a higher expectation of celebrities and politicians, and when they fall, people judge them more harshly. What counts is always remaining honest with yourself.
A long time ago, i made peace with the fact that i would never be a high ranking publicly elected office-holder because i decided to come out, break up with my girlfriend, and identify publicly as gay. Whenever i think back on that crucial set of decisions, because they happened almost like dominos, i feel a sense of immense relief. Living a half life, which is what this is, is no way to go through life. Yes, i would be a millionaire lawyer right now, probably have a kid or two, vacation house, and a beautiful wife (no joke, as anyone who knows my ex-gf can attest), but i GLADLY gave the guarantee of that up for a chance at TRUE happiness. Luckily, i found it in a boy (who i miss very dearly at the moment!) if we're rich in the future, great. if we're not, that's ok, too. What matters is that i am in a committed, loving relationship with somebody who knows everything about me and loves me anyway. There is no half truth, no compartmentalizing, and no sneaking around public bathrooms for a few minutes of true sexual gratification.
with cases like this, and ted haggard, and bob allen (the florida pol busted on the same sort of charges), they view their orientation as an obstacle to "the good life" (wife, kids, money, power). By choosing to subvert their own natures, in the short run, they gain these. However, in the end, when the truth comes out (and it ALWAYS comes out...), they lose everything.
isn't the lesson we should learn here "just come out at the beginning and build a true happy life based on who you really are, who you really love, and what you really believe and care about"?
i made a youtube video about it just such a thing today. i really enjoy the youtubing, but i don't feel like i can be as flexible with my communication like i can with my LJ. writing really is my preferred method of communication!
1. Nobody is saying "you're gay, so you can't be senator anymore!" that's what the echo chamber inside your head sounds like, senator. what everyone is saying is "you tried to have anonymous sex in a public bathroom, so we don't want you to be senator anymore!" it's your own internalized homophobia that has turned this into a gay thing.
2. Tea rooming (sex in the loo) is so 20th century. As people continually keep getting caught for this, i have to wonder, have these people NEVER heard of the internet? i mean, jeez. People are going to recognize you or they aren't, regardless of where you meet them for sex, why not do it somewhere you won't get caught by the authorities. Despite people like Craig's best efforts, gay sex isn't a crime in America anymore, as long as u do it in private! Even if you want to hook up some layover sex, (and trust me, i have friends that have done just this thing!) try Craigslist. OH THE IRONY!
3. Powerful people are always going to catch more attention when they fuck up. I understand why people like my baby daddy Owen Wilson feel the crushing pressure to always be perfect. People have a higher expectation of celebrities and politicians, and when they fall, people judge them more harshly. What counts is always remaining honest with yourself.
A long time ago, i made peace with the fact that i would never be a high ranking publicly elected office-holder because i decided to come out, break up with my girlfriend, and identify publicly as gay. Whenever i think back on that crucial set of decisions, because they happened almost like dominos, i feel a sense of immense relief. Living a half life, which is what this is, is no way to go through life. Yes, i would be a millionaire lawyer right now, probably have a kid or two, vacation house, and a beautiful wife (no joke, as anyone who knows my ex-gf can attest), but i GLADLY gave the guarantee of that up for a chance at TRUE happiness. Luckily, i found it in a boy (who i miss very dearly at the moment!) if we're rich in the future, great. if we're not, that's ok, too. What matters is that i am in a committed, loving relationship with somebody who knows everything about me and loves me anyway. There is no half truth, no compartmentalizing, and no sneaking around public bathrooms for a few minutes of true sexual gratification.
with cases like this, and ted haggard, and bob allen (the florida pol busted on the same sort of charges), they view their orientation as an obstacle to "the good life" (wife, kids, money, power). By choosing to subvert their own natures, in the short run, they gain these. However, in the end, when the truth comes out (and it ALWAYS comes out...), they lose everything.
isn't the lesson we should learn here "just come out at the beginning and build a true happy life based on who you really are, who you really love, and what you really believe and care about"?
i made a youtube video about it just such a thing today. i really enjoy the youtubing, but i don't feel like i can be as flexible with my communication like i can with my LJ. writing really is my preferred method of communication!
Click to view