This morning I went to the dentist to have some cavities filled. The dentist did his job, but the hygienist accidentally poked herself with the needle they'd used to anesthetize my mouth. I didn't find this out until they called my work 2 hours later. They asked me about any STDs or other diseases I might have, and said it probably wouldn't be an ( Read more... )

Man, someone unleashed the fecalbeast in the office bathroom. Not that my own shit smells like rosewater and baby tears (it's more like lily-blossoms and gumdrops), but JESUS. Someone needs a goddamn peppermint enema, I say. It's been a while since I needed to break out the gasmask in order to take a piss. I was afraid a stray stench particle was ( Read more... )

Wow! This is great! I have strep throat ( Read more... )

Oh, this is great. The first appointment they had at the physical therapy place is MARCH 1. Fucking wonderful, guys, let's give me another few weeks to sit around downing narcotics like tic-tacs and stewing in my own pain before I even start to get this shit worked out. Absolutely perfect. Fuckwads.

How does "Camel Lights" sound in any way similar to "Marlboro Reds?" Can someone please let me know? Because I just don't fucking get it ( Read more... )

Goddammit, that wanker of a doctor (not mine, who seems to constantly be gone, but the young indian dude who did my cultures) sent in a scrip for penicillin, but no painkillers. That fucker. I am going to eat his goddamned wanker soul.

Ok, so I'm going to see my doctor this afternoon. That's right, I'm once again joining the legions of you doctor-going fools and hitting the clinic for some hot one-on-one diagnosis/treatment action. 'Cause my throat is just hurting the unholy living shit out of me. Maybe it'd help if I stopped smoking for a while, but fuck that. I didn't take a ( Read more... )

Holy shit, my nose is stuffed up. No matter how much I sneeze or blow my nose my nasal cavity still seems like it's packed with enough snot to fill a punch bowl ( Read more... )

Ow ow ow ow. I am in teh pain.

My doctor's office called with the results from my strep culture today. There was something in it, but it wasn't strep. The lab wasn't sure what it was. They just put me on more antibiotics. Wonderful.

Smoking cigarettes, playing with blades, waiting for sleep to sneak up on me. Some nights... Well, it was just around this time that I woke up (for the first time) this morning. Gah! What in the hell is my body thinking? I honestly haven't the slightest idea. I lay in my bed in a warm room, candle-lit, with ambient music playing, reading a book, ( Read more... )