Stuff
Boy, I was messed up today. I tried to get ahold of myself, but I couldn't keep it together as well as I’d liked to have.
You know how sometimes it feels like everything has gone down the tubes? Like it’s all gone awry...slipped through your hands. I felt that way today...so defeated.
I had such a meltdown this afternoon, about an hour before I was due into history class. What happened was that I was already frazzled, and my Easter basket fell over (yes, I have an Easter basket...my father sent it to me). The contents of the whole damn thing were sprawled on my bedroom rug. And for a moment, it was like everything else faded out. All I could see was the empty basket laying on its side, and all the pieces of chocolate spread apart. For a moment it didn’t feel like just candy...it felt like myself. I collapsed and curled up beside the mess, crying like a fool. It was a dam bursting. I wanted to throw in the towel. It was like I’d finally snapped.
Eventually I regained enough cognizance to stop crying and pick up my basket. Then I sat for a little while, got dressed, and went to school as though nothing had happened. Then I came home. I started to cry a bit again, as I told my mom how I felt. Then I went to my room, and I was pretty much okay for the rest of the night.
I don’t know what gets into me sometimes. But I’m fine now, so that’s all that matters. I’d rather focus on the positive here.
You know how sometimes it feels like everything has gone down the tubes? Like it’s all gone awry...slipped through your hands. I felt that way today...so defeated.
I had such a meltdown this afternoon, about an hour before I was due into history class. What happened was that I was already frazzled, and my Easter basket fell over (yes, I have an Easter basket...my father sent it to me). The contents of the whole damn thing were sprawled on my bedroom rug. And for a moment, it was like everything else faded out. All I could see was the empty basket laying on its side, and all the pieces of chocolate spread apart. For a moment it didn’t feel like just candy...it felt like myself. I collapsed and curled up beside the mess, crying like a fool. It was a dam bursting. I wanted to throw in the towel. It was like I’d finally snapped.
Eventually I regained enough cognizance to stop crying and pick up my basket. Then I sat for a little while, got dressed, and went to school as though nothing had happened. Then I came home. I started to cry a bit again, as I told my mom how I felt. Then I went to my room, and I was pretty much okay for the rest of the night.
I don’t know what gets into me sometimes. But I’m fine now, so that’s all that matters. I’d rather focus on the positive here.