The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions
Originally published at VampAmber's Clutter. Please leave any comments there.
I had the cops called on me last night for being too suicidal.
As usual, I put how bad I felt in my Facebook status, hoping somebody would read the damn thing and actually give a shit. Call me up, give me a hug, hang with me. Something personal, you know? Well, one of my Facebook friends called the cops on me. Mind you, this had to have been at least the 20th time I’ve written on just Facebook alone how I feel suicidal constantly. So apparently the other few dozen times were just practice?
So it was, like, 3am when the cops knocked on the door. Since I had fresh wounds on my arm (I’ve been cutting lately), or maybe even if I hadn’t, they forced me to go to the hospital. I had to ride in the back of the fucking cop car! I never want to do that ever again.
Then I get to the ER, and I get to sit in the fucking psych ward ER set up thing for nine fucking hours, getting poked and prodded occasionally, and getting to talk to someone every few hours. They couldn’t do a damn thing for me (because just feeling suicidal isn’t ever enough to get admitted), so they basically told me to go to my appointment on Tuesday and sent me home. Mind you, the cops had brought me, so I had no ride home. Aaron was at work, and I don’t really have any other friends with a car (Tyra and Max use the bus). So I had to walk the three or four miles home from the fucking hospital.
The best part about this all? I had a fever of 100 degrees during the entire time (it had went down to 99.6 by the time I left the hospital, so that’s what I got to walk home with). Seeing as how my average temperature when I’m not sick is about 95 or 96 degrees, that means I was really sick.
The ONLY good news that came out of this is that I got my move date pushed back to next Saturday. Now I don’t hafta find a place to crash Monday night so I can make my psychiatrist appointment.
But still, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!