(no subject)
Bender: I was God once.
God: Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died.
BERLIN, Germany - Staff at a German butcher's shop were shocked to discover a customer had hidden two sex toys in their sausages for transport to Dubai, police said on Wednesday.
Well, if you're shipping dildos to the U.A.E., you're gonna have to hide them somewhere cuz if they find them in-country they'll probably cut your arms off.
"It was two latex dildos with a natural look," said a spokesman for police in the southwestern city of Mannheim.
"With a natural look". IOW, they looked like your bonified schlong...an Albino Cave Dweller, the ol' Action Jackson, the He-Man Woman Hater, Mr. Mushroomhead...
After shopping there earlier in the day, the man, who spoke broken English, returned to the butcher's with two large "Schwartenmagen" sausages. He asked a shop assistant to wrap and cool them until he departed for Dubai the next day.
...the ol' Schwartenmagen, One-Eyed Charlie and Duffel Twins, Señor Senior, our old friend John Thomas...
But the assistant noticed the goods had got heavier and alerted police. Officers discovered the man, who was about 50, had removed some of the meat and packed the dildos inside.
...Captain Shafonz, The Duke, the Auger-Headed Gut Wrench, Hairy Houdini, the Late Johnny Cochran...
"He could have used a loaf of bread," the spokesman said. "It's not against the law here. But obviously I can't speculate on what customs in Dubai will have to say about it."
They'll have him killed, of course.
From Reuters International and The Spooner Project
The lady across the street sells dildos for a living - she's one of those
Pure Romance reps...I sold her my old company van over the summer
which has since been converted into a dildovan for dildo parties. Who would have thought?
God: Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died.
BERLIN, Germany - Staff at a German butcher's shop were shocked to discover a customer had hidden two sex toys in their sausages for transport to Dubai, police said on Wednesday.
Well, if you're shipping dildos to the U.A.E., you're gonna have to hide them somewhere cuz if they find them in-country they'll probably cut your arms off.
"It was two latex dildos with a natural look," said a spokesman for police in the southwestern city of Mannheim.
"With a natural look". IOW, they looked like your bonified schlong...an Albino Cave Dweller, the ol' Action Jackson, the He-Man Woman Hater, Mr. Mushroomhead...
After shopping there earlier in the day, the man, who spoke broken English, returned to the butcher's with two large "Schwartenmagen" sausages. He asked a shop assistant to wrap and cool them until he departed for Dubai the next day.
...the ol' Schwartenmagen, One-Eyed Charlie and Duffel Twins, Señor Senior, our old friend John Thomas...
But the assistant noticed the goods had got heavier and alerted police. Officers discovered the man, who was about 50, had removed some of the meat and packed the dildos inside.
...Captain Shafonz, The Duke, the Auger-Headed Gut Wrench, Hairy Houdini, the Late Johnny Cochran...
"He could have used a loaf of bread," the spokesman said. "It's not against the law here. But obviously I can't speculate on what customs in Dubai will have to say about it."
They'll have him killed, of course.
From Reuters International and The Spooner Project
The lady across the street sells dildos for a living - she's one of those
Pure Romance reps...I sold her my old company van over the summer
which has since been converted into a dildovan for dildo parties. Who would have thought?