havent updated. but havent needed to...until now.
im in a tough situation.
paul and i had our first fight monday night. and it was a complete misunderstanding which resulted in him getting really, really mad and breaking up with me. until i called. and we talked and he finally understood.
but ever since then...something hasnt been right with me.
im fighting off a major depressive episode.
going home would help...except its angel's birthday weekend. and i know myself. i know that ill pick a fight because he wont have the time to dedicate to my current needy state.
so im staying here. because even if i spent time with my family or whoever else, id be bothered that the paul thing was happening. but its nobodys fault. and angel deserves pauls time.
ive gotten fat. like not fitting into my pants all of a sudden fat. and if you mix that with depression, i really have no desire to leave my apt and let people see me.
thinking about my fatness makes me want to eat.
thinking about depression makes me give into that.
paul and i had our first fight monday night. and it was a complete misunderstanding which resulted in him getting really, really mad and breaking up with me. until i called. and we talked and he finally understood.
but ever since then...something hasnt been right with me.
im fighting off a major depressive episode.
going home would help...except its angel's birthday weekend. and i know myself. i know that ill pick a fight because he wont have the time to dedicate to my current needy state.
so im staying here. because even if i spent time with my family or whoever else, id be bothered that the paul thing was happening. but its nobodys fault. and angel deserves pauls time.
ive gotten fat. like not fitting into my pants all of a sudden fat. and if you mix that with depression, i really have no desire to leave my apt and let people see me.
thinking about my fatness makes me want to eat.
thinking about depression makes me give into that.